• You are currently viewing our forum as a guest, which gives you limited access to view most discussions and access our other features. By joining our free community, you will have access to additional post topics, communicate privately with other members (PM), view blogs, respond to polls, upload content, and access many other special features. Registration is fast, simple and absolutely free, so please join our community today! Just click here to register. You should turn your Ad Blocker off for this site or certain features may not work properly. If you have any problems with the registration process or your account login, please contact us by clicking here.

[MBTI General] INTJ going for a coffe with a ESFP girl tomorrow. tips?

Rex

New member
Joined
Jul 28, 2010
Messages
600
MBTI Type
INTJ
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Any don`t do tips? etc.

any spesifics i should look for that might couse trouble. I have a lot of things on my mind but im thinking you guys have some aditional.
 

Rex

New member
Joined
Jul 28, 2010
Messages
600
MBTI Type
INTJ
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
About her.
She got a kid. A daughter. Likes a series called bones. she knows how to answer, because her dad allways trew out remarks or something.

I like that because its nothing worse than someone that just keeps it inside until they explode on you.

On the phone she likes to get feedback, just so she knows you are there.
And she sort of confirms she lissens when you talk. mhm etc.

Got a job as a nurse assistant i guess. She says she is quite open about things.

She posted the MBTI results and was fairly balansed. particullary the S/N
 

Nicodemus

New member
Joined
Aug 2, 2010
Messages
9,756
Find something she likes to talk about (probably something she has done) and let her talk.
 

highlander

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Dec 23, 2009
Messages
26,562
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Encourage her to talk about herself, smile and be genuinely interested.
 

highlander

Administrator
Staff member
Joined
Dec 23, 2009
Messages
26,562
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
6w5
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
Things that would get you in trouble - don't be negative or critical.

I guess this is all just common sense.
 

Rex

New member
Joined
Jul 28, 2010
Messages
600
MBTI Type
INTJ
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx

uumlau

Happy Dancer
Joined
Feb 9, 2010
Messages
5,517
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
953
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
Your goal is to get to know her, not to impress her.

If you actively try to understand her and learn about her, you will impress her. If you try to impress her, you won't get to know her AND you won't impress her.
 

daftpunkcrunk

New member
Joined
Mar 28, 2010
Messages
13
Your goal is to get to know her, not to impress her.

If you actively try to understand her and learn about her, you will impress her. If you try to impress her, you won't get to know her AND you won't impress her.

I don't think so, I think a woman would want to be impressed. You can get to know her if she finds you attractive enough. If she just wanted to talk and get emotionally intimate, I think she would've done it in a private setting and after a sequential amount of dates. OP is going to starbucks on a first date. Impress her OP.
 

Shimmy

New member
Joined
Jun 9, 2009
Messages
1,867
MBTI Type
SEXY
I don't think so, I think a woman would want to be impressed. You can get to know her if she finds you attractive enough. If she just wanted to talk and get emotionally intimate, I think she would've done it in a private setting and after a sequential amount of dates. OP is going to starbucks on a first date. Impress her OP.

Yeah, the problem is that it's actually quite hard to impress someone with achievements, possessions and bragging, a little self-confidence and a good personality get you so much further.


:yes:
 

daftpunkcrunk

New member
Joined
Mar 28, 2010
Messages
13
Yeah, the problem is that it's actually quite hard to impress someone with achievements, possessions and bragging, a little self-confidence and a good personality get you so much further.



:yes:

You don't necessarily have to be arrogant to impress a woman. OP can impress the girl by showing how well-rounded a person he is. Picking her up in a nice car wouldn't hurt either.

In regards to friendships relationships, having self-confidence/personality is the way to go. However, with women, especially a potential mate, most of them will be more prone to caring more about status/wealth and how much you can provide for her and her children. Of course, not all women are like this but sadly, a large majority of them are.
 

entropie

Permabanned
Joined
Apr 24, 2008
Messages
16,767
MBTI Type
entp
Enneagram
783
Dont do things you dont like just to please her. Once you're married the divorce could cost you alot
 

Shimmy

New member
Joined
Jun 9, 2009
Messages
1,867
MBTI Type
SEXY
You don't necessarily have to be arrogant to impress a woman. OP can impress the girl by showing how well-rounded a person he is. Picking her up in a nice car wouldn't hurt either.

In regards to friendships relationships, having self-confidence/personality is the way to go. However, with women, especially a potential mate, most of them will be more prone to caring more about status/wealth and how much you can provide for her and her children. Of course, not all women are like this but sadly, a large majority of them are.

Let me rephrase my arguement, I think you'll find that we agree more than we think: A woman wants to feel impressed by a man, but not be impressed by said man. "Accidentally" dropping your wallet with several $100 bills in it will only make you seem like a braggart.

I don't know where you live daftpunkcrunk, but over here in the Netherlands women are more than capable of taking care of themselves and their kids. This allows them to focus on finding a mate who is intelligent, ambitious, caring, has good genes etc. We don't live in the 50s any more where money and safety are the people's primary concerns.
 

Rex

New member
Joined
Jul 28, 2010
Messages
600
MBTI Type
INTJ
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Good diskusjon. Im afraid she had to cancel it. She had to take the kid, as the ex dude got thrown out.

We have been talking on facebook for a hour+ told me a lot about herself, her history and what her like and all that. much the same for me, mostly her.
 

Rex

New member
Joined
Jul 28, 2010
Messages
600
MBTI Type
INTJ
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Going out tomorrow instead.


Edit: i have a baaad feling about this. Been talking in the phone for some time now.
 
Last edited:

Rex

New member
Joined
Jul 28, 2010
Messages
600
MBTI Type
INTJ
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
What a sweet, darling INTJ response.

I hope you're joking dear.

Or maybe you do speak that little English.

had to google Delight.

I read it as: be happy, smile, be positive and stuff, show interest. Look into her eyes with my deep blue ones with a gentle smile. :p
 

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
had to google Delight.

I read it as: be happy, smile, be positive and stuff, show interest. Look into her eyes with my deep blue ones with a gentle smile. :p

That's probably a much better idea on a first date than what Nameless Hero actually meant.

*wants to hug the sweet little robot to pieces*

:hug:
 
Top