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[MBTI General] INTJ going for a coffe with a ESFP girl tomorrow. tips?

Thalassa

Permabanned
Joined
May 3, 2009
Messages
25,183
MBTI Type
ISFP
Enneagram
6w7
Instinctual Variant
sx
Oh so INTJs mess up things too.

How strangely comforting to see one admit it.

I'm sorry about this not working out for ya man. :hug:
 

Rex

New member
Joined
Jul 28, 2010
Messages
600
MBTI Type
INTJ
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Oh so INTJs mess up things too.

How strangely comforting to see one admit it.

I'm sorry about this not working out for ya man. :hug:

Is it uncommon for a INTJ to admit failure?

I believed they are supposed to be objective. At least the big T doms.

I had a comforting moment when i read her blog. She talked about feelings and all that. She seemed not so cold then. I tried to get into a conversation about it but she got all defensive. And then i screwed up.

And No. Shes not inocent in this mess. she has failed big time to understand what i need. And it was not much either just single simple word would have done it.

Nevermind.. i need to go on now. And strangely its releaving to talk about it. Perhaps i start a Mats on self destruct adventures blog one day.
 

Laurie

Was E.laur
Joined
Jan 3, 2009
Messages
6,072
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
7w6
Is it uncommon for a INTJ to admit failure?

I believed they are supposed to be objective. At least the big T doms.

I agree, I've never understood the implication on this forum otherwise. Maybe it's also easier to admit you are lost emotionally vs. a well thought out discussion.
 

Spamtar

Ghost Monkey Soul
Joined
Sep 1, 2009
Messages
4,468
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
We were friends. Now we are "friends"

My fault ofc but her friend managed to say that i should try harder.

Read between the lines dummy. That means in the most basic words to make a move and don't just stand around chit chatting. This is not the movies; the hot chick doesn't make a move on you in real life just because you orbit her. Next time don't waste a girls time with lingering too long.

My condolances; as I have been there too a long time ago. Its called being an AFC (or average frustrated chump)
 

Llewellyn

New member
Joined
Oct 30, 2008
Messages
330
MBTI Type
INtj
Enneagram
9w1
This thread gives me headaches.

It kind of released my headache somewhat. Except for the last few pages maybe, wonderful thread to read. First one ever to have me read it calmly through with sustained attention. Having no On Topic reply though. Even contains Norwegian and Icelandic, two of my favorite languages (I'm from The Netherlands by the way). Not a meaningful reply, as I said... I like OP's heartfelt entries. This thread confronts me with what point I am at with this myself... not quite near this (as yet).
 

Spamtar

Ghost Monkey Soul
Joined
Sep 1, 2009
Messages
4,468
MBTI Type
INTP
Enneagram
5w4
Wow.

You really are a walking, talking parrot of PUA, aren't you?

Rrrrock, Polly wanna *close.

Naw I am retired.

My game is so rusty I would polly have a harder time at #closing than the OP at this stage. It would take me at least a couple months to get back up to speed.
 

Rex

New member
Joined
Jul 28, 2010
Messages
600
MBTI Type
INTJ
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
It kind of released my headache somewhat. Except for the last few pages maybe, wonderful thread to read. First one ever to have me read it calmly through with sustained attention. Having no On Topic reply though. Even contains Norwegian and Icelandic, two of my favorite languages (I'm from The Netherlands by the way). Not a meaningful reply, as I said... I like OP's heartfelt entries. This thread confronts me with what point I am at with this myself... not quite near this (as yet).

thanks.

Im glad i know about the MBTI as it has helped me tremendously.


"INTJ may, when functioning within an ineffective system, be extremely eager for change. This eagerness may lead them to expect or demand immediate change. When others around them are open to that change, this attitude can expedite improvements. However, the INTJ often fails to recognize when circumstances call for a more incremental approach to change.

This is especially likely when the brake on the rate of change stems primarily from the emotional defenses of the other people in the system. The INTJ, prone to overlooking the importance of applying their systemic understanding to certain aspects of human systems, may fail to recognize that addressing the fears and apprehensions of relevant individuals is not simply a distraction from their strategy, but rather, itself an important – sometimes the most important – strategic consideration."


The above quote basically confirms that i need to just chill... Considering that everyone was pushing me forward and that i have AD/HD makes it no surprise that we have had some bad conversations. When i succeed it is very nice tho as she liked to talk about feelings and such. I just need to cool down and let it happen by itself.
 

slowriot

He who laughs
Joined
Dec 1, 2008
Messages
1,314
Enneagram
5w4
Rrrrock, Polly wanna *close.

Naw I am retired.

My game is so rusty I would polly have a harder time at #closing than the OP at this stage. It would take me at least a couple months to get back up to speed.

confirmed_t_shirt-p235135362962690723y8xo_400.jpg
 

Llewellyn

New member
Joined
Oct 30, 2008
Messages
330
MBTI Type
INtj
Enneagram
9w1
Considering that everyone was pushing me forward [underlining by Lewellyn] and that i have AD/HD makes it no surprise that we have had some bad conversations. When i succeed it is very nice tho as she liked to talk about feelings and such. I just need to cool down and let it happen by itself.

Somehow that (the underlined part above) can appear (appear) to be the message. I know. And you can feel sorry for not acting faster. It's the message especially from outsiders (I mean outsiders from the particular relationship it is about). When you go with it, you can bet it will lead to an uneasy situation, mostly not in the favour of the one you're in the relationship with!

Do you know your enneagram type, by the way?
 

Rex

New member
Joined
Jul 28, 2010
Messages
600
MBTI Type
INTJ
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
In the heat you sometimes forget.. starts to stress about instead.
Do you know your enneagram type, by the way?

scored 1w9 once i remember. I liked much of what was said about the type 5 also.. physical description fits for 1w9 etc..

Surprised?
 

Rex

New member
Joined
Jul 28, 2010
Messages
600
MBTI Type
INTJ
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
Monday results. (quickly answered)
Introverted (I) 82.14% Extroverted (E) 17.86% (highest i can remember)
Intuitive (N) 51.11% Sensing (S) 48.89%
Thinking (T) 79.41% Feeling (F) 20.59%
Judging (J) 53.85% Perceiving (P) 46.15%

Your type is: INTJ


Type 1 Perfectionism |||||||||||||||||| 73%
Type 2 Helpfulness |||||||||| 40%
Type 3 Image Awareness |||||||||||| 50%
Type 4 Sensitivity |||||||||||| 46%
Type 5 Detachment |||||||||||||| 60%
Type 6 Anxiety |||||||||||||||||| 73%
Type 7 Adventurousness |||||||||||||| 60%
Type 8 Aggressiveness |||||||||||| 46%
Type 9 Calmness |||||||||||||| 60%

type score type behavior motivation
1 22 I must be perfect and good to be happy.
6 22 I must be secure and safe to be happy.
5 18 I must be knowledgable and independent to be happy.
7 18 I must be high and entertained to be happy.
9 18 I must maintian a peaceful and easygoing environment to be happy.

You scored as Type 6

Your variant is social
 

Rex

New member
Joined
Jul 28, 2010
Messages
600
MBTI Type
INTJ
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I can wrap this up now..

I have not seen here since new years eve.. Been talking on facebook a few times last month and thats about it..
I think it was wise of her, to not go inn with feelings as it would not have lasted. I don`t think she could control it tho.. its just that shes damaged. She might try to control her feelings and thats why shes tired/depressed.

Im seeing a new girl (ESTP) I meet her outside my block friday last week.. She could not get in as the person she was on the way too did not answer her phone. etc..
So i opened up for her and she could still not get in touch with this person..

We did some talking, found the tone..kissed.. and we went to my place.
Did some talking, she laughted so hard about my table.. just so much strange random things laying on it.. a emty milk bottle, wheat "bag" tea lights with smell.. RC car parts and the backside of a pizza pack that are used as a mouse pad. taped to the table.

Then we laid down in bed and hold around each other. while listening to music.

Seems lately that im improving my skills.

When i moved to the city i started off with getting beer trown in my face from one girl. Now 3months later i meet a total stranger and made her came to my place in 10min..

that's efficiency for you right there. :D

Going to possibly make a new thread about this girl..
 

Not_Me

New member
Joined
Jan 16, 2008
Messages
1,641
MBTI Type
INTj
You have an active love life for an INTJ. I think you should be excommunicated.
 

Rex

New member
Joined
Jul 28, 2010
Messages
600
MBTI Type
INTJ
Instinctual Variant
sp/sx
I did not say anything about love btw.. But im chasing it.. sooner or later i will catch the bugger..


The what? excommunicated!?

edit: nevermind i googled it..
 
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