I have been doing a lot of research lately on different MBTI sites. I have really been interested in trying to figure out the "puzzle" of how I can relate better to the people in my life after several difficult circumstances forced me to re-evaluate the way that I interact with others. More often than not, I have been trying to understand what it is that either attracts or repels me to the people I have known, both intimately and casually. Based on the evidence presented at different websites, it seems that they suggest that most often the "compatible" types that are listed "share" qualities in some way.
Because of some recent negative interactions, I am coming to the conclusion more and more that perhaps this isn't completely true. I am wondering a lot about the fact that when two qualities are shared, that they aren't necessarily reinforcing each other, but they are actually either "limiting" (two I's) or "overemphasizing" (two E's) in some way. Or for instance, when two J's butt heads over who is right, or two F's reinforce each other's touchy-feely side. Another example might be that two sensors probably would end up becoming overly "practical" and "stagnant" together, whereas two intuitives would end up with their heads in the clouds. There is also a possibility that you can end up being challenged or ridiculed by someone who shares your basic qualities, because, well - they can sense your weak points and exploit them.
Essentially, what I'm getting to is that I'm really starting to believe that complete opposites should attract as an equalization - if only for the fact that it really creates a situation where each person has a command of a realm that the other doesn't. Sharing traits sometimes makes everything "comfortable", and can help to reinforce your own beliefs, but it doesn't necessarily expand your horizons. It also doesn't provide you with a reality check when you need one. It can also be quite challenging to deal with your own adversary in certain regards. (imagine two ENTJ's - I've been there and it's well, interesting but also exhausting.)
Maybe i am weird, but when i think of the people that I have truly felt an emotional affinity with, it usually ends up being someone whose personality contains 3 or more "opposites" from mine. When I think of when I've broken up with somebody, it's usually because somehow we were too similar in some way for our own good (ie shared two or more traits). Since relationships are really growing experiences, what better way to ensure growth for a long time than to settle down with someone who understands life from the opposite perspective?
It sometimes seems difficult to understand how one can create true stability with a complete opposite. I am really starting to believe, however, that once you get past the "awkward" phase of trying to understand each other that you find something truly special can happen. You end up enlightened and completed by the other person if you allow yourself to be open to the experience. But you have to be open to it, and in an age where people gather together on the internet to reinforce their own qualities and attitudes, i think it's becoming harder and harder for people to find the ability to compromise, as well as recognize the value of this. We sometimes drown in our own sameness.
So there you have it - my assessment du jour of love and happiness. Relationships and friendships are inherently weird, and scary. But they don't have to be if you can discover how to find a center and balance in some way. I think it's possible, and moreover, probable to find this with an opposite but it takes work and patience.