"How dreadful!" cried Lord Henry. "I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect." ~ Oscar Wilde - The picture of Dorian Gray
I don't work well with others. i hate the group dynamic - the loss of individuality and autonomy, the apparent obligation, having to direct others. damnit, i don't remember signing a contact that gave people part ownership of me. I hate the inherent mentality that 'you're either all in or you're a problem.'
If i have a vision in mind, i tend to take over in an passive kind fo way, like i lead with my ideas rather than managing people.
It comes pretty easily to me, being quiet and smiling and agreeing. Even when I feel hostile I can tell people what they want to hear, I know what people want to hear, and I care about people's feelings even when I'm not in the mood.
Of course, I'm also an NF.
I've noticed that INTJs are pretty good at "nodding and smiling", too. I mean I feel that in the way they communicate with me, even if their motives are different, so NTs are capable of it.
I'm sure it helps that I'm an NF and I spend an inordinate time thinking about people and the way I feel and they way they feel and what their motives are or might be.
"Sentiment without action is the ruin of the soul." - Edward Abbey
In practice I work great with others, merely because I tend to be very convincing; People(eventually) love working with me, because the job always gets done, no matter what; I LOATH working with others. >:E
I also tend to NOT step on peoples toes( I try my best to at lease), and speak to the "I want to please you" side that every human secretly has; if I've tried every possible calm way to get people to work and I still have no results. I cut them loose.
hmm.... I can see how my mom thinks I'm manipulative now....
Last edited by figsfiggyfigs; 11-20-2010 at 09:10 AM.
Reason: edited a few times
Gah, no. I try to express my ideas, but I'm always overpowered by the extraverts... they don't listen to me. Then they complain that I'm not contributing anything... ffs :P If by fluke they do hear me, they'll pretend they didn't and won't include my idea on their brainstorming list or whatever and just stare at me strangely, as if my ideas aren't normal or good enough for them :P Most people fail to understand my "vision" about how something should be done And I always end up having to do the shitty work because and no one else will. I prefer to do things the way I want to.
I suppose it's not always as bad as I described.. if I'm working with people who aren't doing the job just because they have to and are actually interested in doing it well, then it's bearable. I like it when I can discuss the issues we're working through more intellectually with other members of the group. Positive feedback and encouragement are nice, too
But no matter what, working alone is better.
Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise
Also, politely get away whenever you can. Don't ever underestimate that.
Although I'd like to say that I do, in truth I probably don't. I'm *very* independent when it comes to working. I hate being told what to do (other than in a very generic "we'd like something that does this -- do it however you need to" sort of way), and I really hate being expected to manage other people. That goes double when it comes to a day-to-day basis -- telling people what to do to keep them busy, "on track", etc. That usually winds up having people not thinking or taking initiative to solve their own problems and then bothering me to tell them what to do (when I'm busy trying to get *my* work done) more than is necessary.
But once I have a good working relationship with someone (granted, *not* something I can get to with just anyone), I do okay. I do consider myself a good employee, but mostly for reasons other than "working well with others". I'm loyal, I work hard, I solve my own problems, and I will get things done quickly, efficiently, and do them well. *toots own horn* I deal fine with people when discussing ideas, etc. (although I tend to get a little impatient and behave in a manner that I consider sort of "confident bordering on overbearing", although others assure me that's not the case).
In truth, it's probably best for both my employer's interest and my own sanity if I'm treated in the "Let's give Kelric this problem, leave him alone, and let him build a solution for it" way. If only life were that simple .