My ex is an ESFJ. We still have some issues to hash out, settle, and so on.
One huge problem I am having is communicating with him. When there is a problem, issue, or whatever, the first thing I want to do is examine it. I often ask questions and I desire feedback so that it can take shape--I need that mental construct in order to understand. It's like using echolacationOnce I reach an understanding, I can solve the problem (well...most of the time).
He hates it. He says it irritates him, that he can't understand why I keep asking so many questions (I'm trying to understand something...what's wrong with that?), and why can't he just tell me how he feels or why do I need so much feedback. I don't try to solve something he may have shared with me, but I do ask questions to get a clearer picture of what he is saying.
It's getting to the point where I don't really want to talk to him because our conversations get derailed by his irritation or anger. I know part of this is my fault; I don't want to quit at something until I fully understand it...just feel driven to do so. So...I probably need to drop it even if I don't understand. But I'm afraid if I don't fully understand something, I'll make a mistake(s).
Anyone else run into this kind of problem or something similar? What do you do about it?