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Thread: INTPs and Feelings

  1. #31
    A window to the soul


    Quote Originally Posted by ExAstrisSpes View Post
    This has become a somewhat common exchange between me and my bf:

    Me: "I have feelings for you/I care for you"
    Him: "I know - it shows because of X, Y, Z"

    I sense that he has feelings for me and cares for me, but it's not something I want to assume, even though from his perspective it's probably obvious. The relationship is otherwise going really well, but this is one of the communication things that has me puzzled. If he doesn't feel comfortable sharing his feelings verbally with me I don't want to force it (which is why I haven't asked him), but at the same time I feel insecure in the relationship sometimes because I really don't know how he feels for me and I don't feel comfortable assuming.
    ^It will probably take your INTP bf awhile to verbally express his feelings towards you. Meanwhile, I would not pressure him. You could playfuly express your desire to hear more, but I would not make it an issue. It will naturally come with time. Even then, verbal expressions will probably short, sweet and infrequent. Probably not what you are used to with other types or what comes natural for you.

    INTP's are probably much better with written expression. Trust me when I say, you can tell an INTP likes you, when the INTP is playful, affectionate, gives you gifts, and spends quality time with you. These are things the INTP doesn't do with just anyone.

    You may never hear a lot of verbal expression of feelings from an INTP. This is something I'm not good at either and it doesn't matter how much warm and fuzzy I feel. Showing physical affection comes natural for me in a relationship. My verbal expressions just don't come out right and I think they sound rehearsed. I do much better with writing.

  2. #32
    Senior Member Array
    Join Date
    Dec 2008


    I'd just ask him. I understand you're worried that will come across as pushy and rude, but I wouldn't fret about it. Chances are if you ask he'll chuckle and say "Of course I do, what makes you think I don't?"

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