Redbone hit the nail on the head. My husband and I have this issue. I never used to help him do his things (pack, organize something, proactively get something he's meaning to get) because he's very particular about how each of these tasks are done. I never would help him pack for his business trips because I didn't think I was contributing in any way (I'm a slow and messy packer). When he explained to me that even if I feel like I'm not contributing, it means a lot to HIM, then I got it. I'll join in on some project or task he's doing. I suppose me helping him organize something is like him giving me a deeply meant compliment. When I realize and remind myself of that, it's very easy to do.Redbone: If it is also presented to me as a problem, I'd want to solve it. If my partner said, "I need _______________. I'm asking for it because it is important to me and it will help keep our relationship running smoothly. What do you think?" That would make me do it because I care enough to want to do things right for the relationship even if those are not my needs.