For any INTP men, I was wondering your approach to sex? I am a INTJ woman dating an amazing INTP man. By his awkward (yet adorable) sort of flirting, I can tell he is interested in me in that way, however seems shy and almost embarrassed to initiate it. I have reciprocated his flirtations. With age does this get any easier? He is 51 and was previously married. How can I make him feel more comfortable, though I do not want him to feel pressured?
10-26-2010, 11:40 PM #1
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- May 2009
INTP men and your approach to sex
10-27-2010, 02:58 AM #2
I don't approach sex. I run from it and hide in the corner.
Jokes. But I've never had sex and I am very shy about it. I was afraid of the idea for some reason and would go silent whenever a sexual or even romantic topic was mentioned until I was about 15. I'm still a bit sex/love-shy. But I'm only 17, so what do I know?JiNe
Ti | Fi | Ne | Si | Te | Ni | Fe | Se
Enneagram: 5w4 sx/sp
"When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth."
"It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories, instead of theories to suit facts."
10-27-2010, 07:56 AM #3
Many INTPs don't feel comfortable with taking risks, especially risks of the interpersonal variety, until they've processed enough information about the situation to feel confident that the odds of success are in their favor. Initiation of a sexual relationship carries with it the risk of rejection, and sexual rejection is something a lot of INTP men in particular take personally (in fact there's a long thread on that very subject somewhere around here).
I'm not sure it gets easier with age, tbh. More likely it gets easier with individual comfort level/sense of trust.83% I 70% N 64% T 73% P | 5w4 sp/so/sx | Chaotic Good
10-27-2010, 08:26 AM #4
Not an INTP man, but I have some experience with one.
Probably best to take some initiative if you want something to happen. Nice thing about them is they usually aren't all uptight about gender roles and won't mind a bit.“There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
~ John Rogers
10-27-2010, 08:48 PM #5ReflecTcelfeRGuest
I love joking about sex. Usually when it comes down to it though, true conversations that head into the vicinity of sex/love I freeze and let the other take the first move. Something about it just makes me think that if they want me they'll ask for me to do it. I'm 19 by the way.
10-27-2010, 09:00 PM #6
I believe that the biggest concern INTP men have is that they misunderstand/misread the others' signs or hints. It'd definitely be to your advantage to initiate over waiting for him to, as he may not initiate at all until he believes he has a) ensured 100% that you want it, and b) has talked with you enough to know what you'd like in bed. Otherwise he may feel too awkward and afraid that you would not enjoy the experience.
Solution? Take him down your own way. Initiate, and him you enjoyed it afterward. Later you can critique, but the first time... let it be a good experience. Besides, I can only assume my fellow INTPs are just as good as I am... :P
10-27-2010, 10:31 PM #7
I don't approach sex. Sex usually approaches me.
10-27-2010, 10:34 PM #8ReflecTcelfeRGuest
10-27-2010, 10:50 PM #9
INTP approach to........what?NTJ's are the only types that have ever made me feel emo.
ENP's are the only types that have ever made me feel like a sensor.
There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why. --William Barclay
10-27-2010, 10:55 PM #10ReflecTcelfeRGuest
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