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Thread: NT in an F-dominated network.

  1. #51
    Emerging Array Tallulah's Avatar
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    Feb 2008


    Quote Originally Posted by Mephistopheles View Post
    Yeah, I know that. Imho, it feels like they're seeing me just as some kind of joke/knowlegde-machine and NOTHING ELSE. Because of that, I sometimes tend to see my so-called friends not really as such.
    I see that quite a bit, that perception, with a lot of ENTPs. From my perspective, though, as the friend of the ENTP, that it doesn't have to be so either-or. Some ENTPs can fall into the trap of believing that the joking part isn't their authentic self and the part that likes to discuss deeper concepts is. What happens is, they don't bring their fun-loving selves into the rest of their lives. From the outside, that is really jarring, though. I love the fun-loving side of ENTPs, and I see it as a part of their unique talents. There's no reason I can't appreciate both sides. But I don't like it when the ENTP doesn't let me see the fun side anymore because he's decided that I will "get" the serious side. I know it's rare to find people that get you and will discuss things with you, but you don't have to compartmentalize so much. The jokey, fun part can be "you," too. Let us have fun with that part in the middle of the serious conversation. That also may be why people don't know when NOT to take you seriously in the "serious" discussions, and why we think you're more committed to the idea than you really are. Because it's obvious you're not being the jokey guy right then.
    Something Witty

  2. #52
    Alchemist of life Array Coriolis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    5w6 sp/sx


    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    ah. yeah. i see what you mean. though is it really fair to assume that everyone should listen to words alone? i guess i see a significant issue here because my dad and brother, both Ts, will tend to say something in a tone of voice that, coming from an F, would generally have unkind intent - coupled with the fact that it's probably a statement less sensitive to the needs of the individual - and you get something that comes off as both mean and cold, even though it's only intended to be neutral and objective.
    Your example illustrates my point. If you attempt to read meaning into your dad and brother's tone of voice, you might assume they are being mean and cold, even though they are not. If you focus on their statement, you see they are just being neutral and objective. This is how I prefer people react to me. Of course, they are free to react as they choose, and to indulge all the misunderstandings their F-tendencies or other internal workings can come up with. I, on the other hand, get irritated having to repeat to them, "No, that is not what I said; stop ascribing to me meaning that is only in your own head." It is less an issue of fairness than of accuracy and efficiency in communicating.

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