User Tag List

First 23456 Last

Results 31 to 40 of 52

  1. #31
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    17,582

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    In the last few years, I've actually been holding my ground in terms of not over-accommodating social niceties in my personal interactions. But you will definitely take a hit because of it. Accommodation is just another form of control, as much as aggression is. It lets you avoid conflict you might not want to waste resources on.
    I haven't noticed this yet, but that may just be a function of the environments I spend time in. I did have a friend recently carry on in a rather emotional, gushy way as I listened attentively. After awhile she became embarassed and started to apologize for her monologue, thinking it had disturbed or offended me. I reassured her that that was not at all the case, that I was happy to hear whatever she wanted to share, and touched that she had confided in me. I am much more willing to let you (general) be you, if you also let me be me, at least when it comes to personal expression. When it comes to actions and decisions, I may be less accommodating, especially if they affect me.

  2. #32
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    FREE
    Enneagram
    594 sx/sp
    Socionics
    LII Ne
    Posts
    42,333

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Coriolis View Post
    I haven't noticed this yet, but that may just be a function of the environments I spend time in.
    Good point. I think a lot of my world has been blatantly xSFx until recently, and I'm finally enjoying a workplace environment with a predominance of T types of either gender... and any F's that work here still have a large T sense. The F comes out most in this environment in the sense of being a "team player" rather than someone who throws others under the bus or is difficult to work with due to lack of a human element... but I think T can be accommodating even just out of a sense of fairness if not conventional compassion.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  3. #33
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEI Ni
    Posts
    7,661

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by fill View Post
    Just my general sarcastic views on people, society, pop-culture, etc. I'll say something, completely halfhearted, and I get a quiet, negative response from them like I just put them in a bad mood. I almost want to just tell them to relax - laugh. I'm not being serious; I don't care! I just like to shoot the shit and look like I'm trying to convince someone in the process. I thought they knew this. It seems they must not have.
    So you're a downer?
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  4. #34
    "Everything in its place" fill's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    entp
    Enneagram
    753
    Posts
    507

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    So you're a downer?
    Yes, I'm a downer, just like the numerous adored comedians who do exactly what I described above are.

    SEE:
    [YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbS9jZOlQjc"]Dave Chappelle[/YOUTUBE]
    "Poor bastard. Wait 'till he sees the bats. "
    enneagram - 7/5/3

  5. #35
    i love skylights's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    6w7 so/sx
    Socionics
    EII Ne
    Posts
    7,835

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Sherlock Holmes View Post
    Why are we the ones who must submit even if their behaviour makes no sense?
    you're not.

    i suppose i can only speak for myself but i perceive myself as submitting to T behavior and thought conventions quite often.

    to be honest, logic gets really old sometimes. why does everything have to make logical sense? it seems like a rule someone pulled out of nowhere that can be very useful, but also very restricting. sometimes i just want to do something because it makes me, or someone else, feel good.

    that said, i do appreciate and value logic. but it seems restraining to use it 24/7.

  6. #36
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INFP
    Enneagram
    4w5 sp/sx
    Socionics
    IEI Ni
    Posts
    7,661

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by fill View Post
    Yes, I'm a downer, just like the numerous adored comedians who do exactly what I described above are.
    Maybe you're not as funny as you think you are?
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  7. #37
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    6,028

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by OrangeAppled View Post
    Maybe you're not as funny as you think you are?
    This is what I'm wondering. I've known some ENTPs and some INTJs that thought something was wrong with other people for "not getting them," when they really just weren't as funny as they thought they were. Not everything you say is going to get a laugh, and it's not because people are too sensitive or PC. Sometimes it's not funny. And sometimes it's because you're not presenting it in a joking manner--it just seems like you believe something crazy, and people don't know whether to take you seriously.

    I don't know if it's the case with the OP, but it's something to consider if it's happening consistently.
    Something Witty

  8. #38
    "Everything in its place" fill's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    entp
    Enneagram
    753
    Posts
    507

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    This is what I'm wondering. I've known some ENTPs and some INTJs that thought something was wrong with other people for "not getting them," when they really just weren't as funny as they thought they were. Not everything you say is going to get a laugh, and it's not because people are too sensitive or PC. Sometimes it's not funny. And sometimes it's because you're not presenting it in a joking manner--it just seems like you believe something crazy, and people don't know whether to take you seriously.

    I don't know if it's the case with the OP, but it's something to consider if it's happening consistently.
    While this is a valid point, it doesn't have anything to do with my close friends or the situations I'm referring to. What I'm trying to say is that I'm not attempting to make people laugh, I only want to engage in a conversation for the sake of analyzing it, not to prove some sort of point. I do this by contemptuously expressing the view.

    My last point about comedians was meant to argue against being a "downer."

    It boils down to this: people take me too seriously. I've known this for a long time. This is why I'm very witty around people I don't know because if I dig down too deeply into a serious matter with no regard to seriousness (something I'm doing in my head constantly), I get a negative response.

    I expected I could open up my head's uncensored logical analysis to my closest of friends, but I suppose I was wrong because they still take what I'm saying seriously. Maybe I'm asking too much of them to drop their feelings for a second and take a step back, but I have to say I've thrown logic to the side for them in order to make them feel better.
    "Poor bastard. Wait 'till he sees the bats. "
    enneagram - 7/5/3

  9. #39
    Analytical Dreamer Coriolis's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w6 sp/sx
    Posts
    17,582

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by skylights View Post
    that said, i do appreciate and value logic. but it seems restraining to use it 24/7.
    That comes across a bit like: "I do recognize the law of gravity, but it seems restraining to obey it 24/7."

  10. #40
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Posts
    6,028

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by fill View Post
    While this is a valid point, it doesn't have anything to do with my close friends or the situations I'm referring to. What I'm trying to say is that I'm not attempting to make people laugh, I only want to engage in a conversation for the sake of analyzing it, not to prove some sort of point. I do this by contemptuously expressing the view.

    My last point about comedians was meant to argue against being a "downer."

    It boils down to this: people take me too seriously. I've known this for a long time. This is why I'm very witty around people I don't know because if I dig down too deeply into a serious matter with no regard to seriousness (something I'm doing in my head constantly), I get a negative response.

    I expected I could open up my head's uncensored logical analysis to my closest of friends, but I suppose I was wrong because they still take what I'm saying seriously. Maybe I'm asking too much of them to drop their feelings for a second and take a step back, but I have to say I've thrown logic to the side for them in order to make them feel better.
    Okay, I see what you're saying. I ran across this same theme with an ENTP I was getting to know recently, but it was hard for me to get exactly where he was coming from. He'd say the same things you are saying--that sometimes people take him too seriously, and sometimes he just wants to put things out there, that he doesn't necessarily believe or subscribe to himself.

    From my perspective in trying to meet him halfway, I was never offended at anything he said. So it wasn't a values or feelings-type reaction. It was just that sometimes he would say some pretty outlandish things, but they didn't read as though he thought they were outlandish. The presentation was often the same as the stuff that he'd given a lot of thought to. So it was very hard for me to tell the difference between him saying stuff just to get a reaction or see what I had to say about it, and him sharing a perspective that was pretty concrete in his values system. So naturally, one wants to err on the side of taking someone's ideas seriously as a sign of respect.

    Occasionally he would say stuff like "I don't know if I believe any of that or not," and then I'd realize that was a not-serious time. But even at those times, I was unsure what he wanted my reaction to be. Especially because as an INTP, I usually run my wild Ne ideas through Ti before I release them into the environment. And ENFP type unrestrained Ne is pretty easily recognizable as being silly. This wasn't, so much. If I'd gotten a clear idea of the kind of discussion he wanted, maybe I could have played in that world, but I never got a picture of that. The serious stuff looked a lot like the not-serious stuff. But he did restate pretty often the idea that people misunderstand him, and only a few people "get" him naturally, and that people shouldn't take him seriously. I wanted to understand him, but didn't know how.

    Can you maybe tell what an optimal reaction would look like, or maybe give an example of when the conversation went wrong and what you had hoped for?
    Something Witty

Similar Threads

  1. MINECRAFT: Anyone interested in an NT-majority server?
    By AkaruiRain in forum Arts & Entertainment
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 07-23-2012, 10:20 PM
  2. [MBTItm] What good would an NF see in an NT as a romantic partner?
    By FFF in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 89
    Last Post: 06-18-2012, 09:30 PM
  3. [NT] an NT in love....
    By tinkerbell in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 47
    Last Post: 12-02-2009, 03:16 PM
  4. [NT] ENTJ fitting in an INTP-dominated workplace?
    By UnitOfPopulation in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 05-21-2009, 03:04 AM
  5. [MBTItm] NT's in an NF culture???
    By Scott N Denver in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 05-18-2009, 01:40 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO