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[ENTJ] ENTJ, I'm suspicious of you.

HotpinkHeatwave

New member
Joined
Nov 30, 2009
Messages
379
MBTI Type
ENFP
I'm not talking about all of you, ENTJs. (Although this could apply to all of you, and I'd really like your feedback.)

I met an ENTJ not too long ago - a little under/over a month, maybe?

The first time we met in person, he drove almost 40 miles just to pick me up, so we could go to a concert that HE was running/in charge of. We talked the entire way there. The conversation flowed fairly well. Keep in mind, we barely talked prior to this.

We were around each other for the rest of the night, but didn't talk much, since we were both distracted by different things. After the concert, I went with him back to his place, where all the bands had recuperated to hang out.

Spent the night there (everyone did), and in the morning, I gave the ENTJ a hug before I left, and he said 'I'll be seeing you soon'. (I think it was more of a question, but sounded like a statement. Ha.)

About a week later, we went to a movie with a bunch of friends, and hung out until 2 in the morning.

Another week or so goes by, and we hang out again. This time we run around in the rain all afternoon. And this time, he tries to kiss me. (Prior to this, he has told me he liked me, a few times.)

Now he wants to see me again. I should not be suspicious of his intentions, but from what I know and have heard of ENTJs, I can't help but to be.

He has been very sincere - compliments me, shows concern, and seems to care. He has told me he wants to be the one to 'make me happy, and be there for me'. He has told me that he thinks we can learn a lot from eachother, which I do not deny.

Despite all this, I am wary.

What do YOU think? Sincere? Or?

Of all the types, I truly think ENTJs are the most hard to read, and I am quite good at reading people.

Tell me your thoughts, your opinions. If I've been to vague or you are unsure about anything, ask. I'll answer.
 

DiscoBiscuit

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Right back at ya...
 

mrcockburn

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Exactly what are you suspicious of? You're taking things too seriously. Just go with it and have fun.
 

Vie

Giggity
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Jun 9, 2010
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Yeah, I'm curious as to what you find suspicious as well.

He is obviously making an effort to talk to you/see you, which shows that you have sparked an interest within him. There doesn't seem anything to be...odd though.
 

Beargryllz

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I once had a friend tell me that women do not know what they want.
 

Oeufa

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Apologies OP, but I laughed :tongue:

He seems genuine! Relax, see how things go.
 

Moiety

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If he is complimenting you, don't trust him.
 

MoneyTick

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ENTJ
FIRST OF ALL,

How do you really know he's an ENTJ? Did he take a test?

ENTJ is one of the rarest types, constituting only 2% of the entire population.

ESTJs, ENTPs, INTP can all have similar traits to the ENTJ.

Going to concerts and hanging out 24/7 does not sound like one, he would probably be doing something more productive and manage his time better.

If he is a genuine ENTJ, then the only person you should be suspicious of is yourself. There's a 90% his actions are legit in expressing genuine feelings for you BUT - the moment you turn him down or give him the impression your trying to get away from him, he'll just run away in the opposite direction.

If he's inexperienced with dating - the #1 indication you should look for that is unique with ENTJs is EXTREME CLINGINESS.

We don't get feelings, but I've read somewhere that ENTJs are the most faithful and commited types when it comes to relationships.

If he wants to hang out, hook up, or spend time - saying no is asking for the cold shoulder because he'll get the impression your just want a casual relationship.

So pretty much, its a one-night stand or going in for the long haul.
 

Thalassa

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This is hilarious to me. I am far more suspicious of ENxP males.
 

mrcockburn

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If he is a genuine ENTJ, then the only person you should be suspicious of is yourself. There's a 90% his actions are legit in expressing genuine feelings for you BUT - the moment you turn him down or give him the impression your trying to get away from him, he'll just run away in the opposite direction.

If he's inexperienced with dating - the #1 indication you should look for that is unique with ENTJs is EXTREME CLINGINESS.

We don't get feelings, but I've read somewhere that ENTJs are the most faithful and commited types when it comes to relationships.

If he wants to hang out, hook up, or spend time - saying no is asking for the cold shoulder because he'll get the impression your just want a casual relationship.

So pretty much, its a one-night stand or going in for the long haul.

Not necessarily. I like my...ahem, play-as-you-go relationships. That sounds trashy, but you get what I mean. Not a wham-bam-thank-you-maam one-nighter, but nothing exclusive or even remotely long-term. One day at a time.

I highly doubt the OP's ENTJ admirer is worrying about anything serious or long-term. So chances are, he just likes you and just wants to enjoy you for now.

But yeah, in case it ever does get more serious, watch out for the clinginess. My ENTJ ex was horrifyingly clingy (although he wasn't inexperienced, so that's no excuse). And as another ENTJ, I couldn't even deal with it.

Turns out we just had different expectations with our relationship. He was starting to bring up marriage. I ran like fuck. lol

Like I said, he probably just sees you as an interesting woman that he likes to go out with, and that's it for now. So don't worry too much. Just have fun and play the field. ;)
 

HotpinkHeatwave

New member
Joined
Nov 30, 2009
Messages
379
MBTI Type
ENFP
FIRST OF ALL,

How do you really know he's an ENTJ? Did he take a test?

ENTJ is one of the rarest types, constituting only 2% of the entire population.

ESTJs, ENTPs, INTP can all have similar traits to the ENTJ.

Going to concerts and hanging out 24/7 does not sound like one, he would probably be doing something more productive and manage his time better.

If he is a genuine ENTJ, then the only person you should be suspicious of is yourself. There's a 90% his actions are legit in expressing genuine feelings for you BUT - the moment you turn him down or give him the impression your trying to get away from him, he'll just run away in the opposite direction.

If he's inexperienced with dating - the #1 indication you should look for that is unique with ENTJs is EXTREME CLINGINESS.

We don't get feelings, but I've read somewhere that ENTJs are the most faithful and commited types when it comes to relationships.

If he wants to hang out, hook up, or spend time - saying no is asking for the cold shoulder because he'll get the impression your just want a casual relationship.

So pretty much, its a one-night stand or going in for the long haul.

- He is an ENTJ, I promise. He has taken a test, and fits the bill quite perfectly. He has said it is amazing how well he fits the description. Not only that, I am constantly noticing things in/about him that are typical ENTJ traits.

- We do not hang out 24/7. He is almost always busy with college/work. (ENTJ for you.)

- He is experienced with dating. Had a relationship of almost two years, and on-and-off relationships.

- I am more or so wanting to know what his intentions are, which I can only put as being suspicious. I just want to know what he wants from me. So far it seems like he wants to be a little more than friends, but I can't tell to what extent.
 

Thalassa

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- He is an ENTJ, I promise. He has taken a test, and fits the bill quite perfectly. He has said it is amazing how well he fits the description. Not only that, I am constantly noticing things in/about him that are typical ENTJ traits.

- We do not hang out 24/7. He is almost always busy with college/work. (ENTJ for you.)

- He is experienced with dating. Had a relationship of almost two years, and on-and-off relationships.

- I am more or so wanting to know what his intentions are, which I can only put as being suspicious. I just want to know what he wants from me. So far it seems like he wants to be a little more than friends, but I can't tell to what extent.

What, precisely, are you afraid of? That he wants an immediate commitment?

For me (and I'm older than you) the prospect of an ExxP personality is much more frightening because I'm concerned that:

1) they might not know what they want

2) they do know what they want, but would be less than forthcoming and honest about it

3) they would lull me into the sort of comfort (even a false sense of security) that an ExxP personality can inspire, and then bolt at the first sign of boredom or the next shiny thing to come along

4) plus, I seem to fight with ENTP boys in a bad way

With an ENTJ (as long as he's not immature) I would presume that he at least knows what he wants, would be more upfront and honest about where you stood with him, and, yes, *might* be more inclined to want a commitment. But not necessarily. Just because he's a J doesn't mean he's going to shackle you down, or even want an exclusive relationship.

If that's what you're afraid of. Are you afraid of being controlled?
 

Lark

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I dont think this dilemma is about type or its not restricted to the ENTJ type if it is about type.
 

Ghost of the dead horse

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I'll have to agree to this clinginess thing on my part. I sometimes really have to fight to barely not be clingy. Okay, being independent and everything, allowing everyone else to be too, but.. my theory is, that I allow too much of everything for myself and others, too openminded, too free, so in the case I want something, I go overboard in the other direction.

I guess it's for a reason my friends voted me the most loyal of their friends some time ago. I feel this commitment, but I don't easily commit, so people most see me as someone who treats others as expendable, I guess. But, it changes according to how intimate & close to me they are.

I gotta go to sleep for today, I'm writing incoherently.
 

HotpinkHeatwave

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I dont think this dilemma is about type or its not restricted to the ENTJ type if it is about type.

Well, I am taking his type into consideration. I know that ENTJs are straightforward and honest. Usually.

I'm afraid of being hurt, bottom line. I don't want to open myself up to someone, and have then run away, with a good reason or not. And you're right, maybe he doesn't want a relationship. He KNOWS I don't want one. He probably just likes me, bottom line. Would it be uncommon for an ENTJ to want an open relationship?
 

Frederico Rogeiro

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Portuguese prime-minister José Sócrates is an ENTJ. Very straightforward and talkative. He is also an honest liar: he always lies. haha
 

Valiant

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To the OP.

Hey. You sooner need to be wary of your own intentions, his are quite clear.
If he said he wants to care for you, he does. That doesn't mean a one night stand.
Tease or treat him badly, though, and he will resent you. NTJs hate failures.
He's been honest about what he wants. Be that in return.
Don't play games, don't screw up.
If you are interested, that is. I guess you would know by now.
If you don't, make up your mind about things now.
One thing is for sure, in the current state of your relationship, you are expendable.
You can be replaced if you are too much trouble.
If you need to cause trouble, ever, do it when he has more deeply rooted feelings for you.
Otherwise, he'll move on.
Like you said, he's a busy guy and doesn't have time for a lot of crap like playing games and not knowing what someone wants.

Not saying, however, that you should tell him you love him and marry him within the week.
Just let him know that you are interested in him and would like to get to know him better, or something.
Build it from there. Just cut the crap. No offense meant.
 

Craft

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So innocent. You don't realize that you are already in the palm of his hands.

But, seriously, is it not ok to experience this "hurt"ness? Isn't it a natural process one must overcome and grow upon?
 
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