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  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by YourLocalJesus View Post
    You can be replaced if you are too much trouble.
    If you need to cause trouble, ever, do it when he has more deeply rooted feelings for you.
    Otherwise, he'll move on.
    Re: "You can be replaced if you are too much trouble."

    What the fuck does that even mean? I mean that's reasonable to say if she's playing some push-pull game with him, or cheating on him, but if she happens to have personality quirks or expresses feelings that annoy him, he'll just shut down and get rid of her, amirite?

    It's a good mindset to make someone paranoid and NOT want to pursue anything. "Hey I don't even know what I did, but I scared you off because I wasn't a Stepford wife!"


  2. #22
    Senior Member HotpinkHeatwave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YourLocalJesus View Post
    To the OP.

    Hey. You sooner need to be wary of your own intentions, his are quite clear.
    If he said he wants to care for you, he does. That doesn't mean a one night stand.
    Tease or treat him badly, though, and he will resent you. NTJs hate failures.
    He's been honest about what he wants. Be that in return.
    Don't play games, don't screw up.
    If you are interested, that is. I guess you would know by now.
    If you don't, make up your mind about things now.
    One thing is for sure, in the current state of your relationship, you are expendable.
    You can be replaced if you are too much trouble.
    If you need to cause trouble, ever, do it when he has more deeply rooted feelings for you.
    Otherwise, he'll move on.
    Like you said, he's a busy guy and doesn't have time for a lot of crap like playing games and not knowing what someone wants.

    Not saying, however, that you should tell him you love him and marry him within the week.
    Just let him know that you are interested in him and would like to get to know him better, or something.
    Build it from there. Just cut the crap. No offense meant.
    Hmm. Not sure why you felt the need to add the 'no offense meant' line. I'm not offended easily.

    You are correct on all your points.

    Thank you.

  3. #23
    Senior Member HotpinkHeatwave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Re: "You can be replaced if you are too much trouble."

    What the fuck does that even mean? I mean that's reasonable to say if she's playing some push-pull game with him, or cheating on him, but if she happens to have personality quirks or expresses feelings that annoy him, he'll just shut down and get rid of her, amirite?

    It's a good mindset to make someone paranoid and NOT want to pursue anything. "Hey I don't even know what I did, but I scared you off because I wasn't a Stepford wife!"

    Remember though, ENTJs are honest. I'm sure if I was doing something that annoyed him/he disliked, he would come right out and say it. I'm surprised he hasn't said anything yet.

    He did however say he has never met a girl like me before (which I honestly believe - I am quite out there). So I cannot be THAT easily replaced.

  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by HotpinkHeatwave View Post
    Remember though, ENTJs are honest. I'm sure if I was doing something that annoyed him/he disliked, he would come right out and say it. I'm surprised he hasn't said anything yet.

    He did however say he has never met a girl like me before (which I honestly believe - I am quite out there). So I cannot be THAT easily replaced.

    Yeah...it's just that...on one hand I DO understand the sentiment. I can see the guy not wanting to be led on or fucked with or lied to or cheated on. All of that is totally reasonable, of course. In that sense, cut the crap is highly appropriate.

    It's just the way he said it...conjured up images in my head of...be seen, but not heard. Like evaluating a woman as an object rather than a person with thoughts, wants, and needs of her own. It could be a completely erronous interpretation on my part.

  5. #25
    Senior Member HotpinkHeatwave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Craft View Post
    So innocent. You don't realize that you are already in the palm of his hands.

    But, seriously, is it not ok to experience this "hurt"ness? Isn't it a natural process one must overcome and grow upon?
    Palm of his hands? Definitely not. I don't see how that could even be possible.

    And I have been hurt. I have overcome it, and grown upon it, and this is what i've learned - Build a wall, and don't bring it down for ANYONE. Unless they, for sure, can be trusted.

    I do not want for it to happen again, so no, it is not an okay thing to be hurt.

  6. #26
    Senior Member HotpinkHeatwave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Yeah...it's just that...on one hand I DO understand the sentiment. I can see the guy not wanting to be led on or fucked with or lied to or cheated on. All of that is totally reasonable, of course. In that sense, cut the crap is highly appropriate.

    It's just the way he said it...conjured up images in my head of...be seen, but not heard. Like evaluating a woman as an object rather than a person with thoughts, wants, and needs of her own. It could be a completely erronous interpretation on my part.
    I agree. The statement 'you can be replaced' gives the impression that I'm just a thing - no human sentiment. But it is also true. I personally cannot be replaced - there is no one like me - however, I, as in being a friend, can be replaced.

  7. #27
    Courage is immortality Valiant's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marmalade.sunrise View Post
    Re: "You can be replaced if you are too much trouble."

    What the fuck does that even mean? I mean that's reasonable to say if she's playing some push-pull game with him, or cheating on him, but if she happens to have personality quirks or expresses feelings that annoy him, he'll just shut down and get rid of her, amirite?

    It's a good mindset to make someone paranoid and NOT want to pursue anything. "Hey I don't even know what I did, but I scared you off because I wasn't a Stepford wife!"

    Don't kid yourself, there are such things as "good things" and "bad things".
    There is also a thing called "self-improvement".
    You don't get better by giving in to freakishly annoying "personality quirks" like avoidant behavior, not being honest, not getting things done etc,
    Those are things that one has to work upon.
    Just like I have my things that I have to work upon.
    Honesty and straightforwardness aren't in that category, though.
    That's what this is all about, and that is something we can all achieve.
    Something we should be expected to achieve.


    Quote Originally Posted by HotpinkHeatwave View Post
    Hmm. Not sure why you felt the need to add the 'no offense meant' line. I'm not offended easily.

    You are correct on all your points.

    Thank you.

    I just tend to come off as very brash when I am being honest.
    Good thing you took it like I meant it. Thank you, too.
    That being said, I think that ENTJ is potentially going to be a lucky bastard to have you.
    Good luck with this endeavor.

    Mightier than the tread of marching armies is the power of an idea whose time has come

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by YourLocalJesus View Post
    Don't kid yourself, there are such things as "good things" and "bad things".
    There is also a thing called "self-improvement".
    You don't get better by giving in to freakishly annoying "personality quirks" like avoidant behavior, not being honest, not getting things done etc,
    Those are things that one has to work upon.
    Just like I have my things that I have to work upon.
    Honesty and straightforwardness aren't in that category, though.
    That's what this is all about, and that is something we can all achieve.
    Something we should be expected to achieve.
    I think I'm going to follow Lexicon's lead and just marry a cat.

    It's not even that I so strongly disagree with the bulk of what you've said...sure, some things are completely intolerable. But all human beings deserve a little breathing room, a bit of room to be human and make mistakes and not be perfect.

    The way you word things reminds me a corporate hiring manual for Wal-Mart or something, not relationship advice.

  9. #29
    Senior Member HotpinkHeatwave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YourLocalJesus View Post


    I just tend to come off as very brash when I am being honest.
    Good thing you took it like I meant it. Thank you, too.
    That being said, I think that ENTJ is potentially going to be a lucky bastard to have you.
    Good luck with this endeavor.

    Why thank you. Again.

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by HotpinkHeatwave View Post
    He has been very sincere - compliments me, shows concern, and seems to care. He has told me he wants to be the one to 'make me happy, and be there for me'.
    how do you know that he is sincere? that other stuff is like straight from the back cover of the bullshitting 101. im not saying that hes faking anything, im just saying that those things alone means nothing.
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
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