HOW TO BE AN ENTP IN THIRTY DAYS
The Ultimate Guide to becoming an ENTP
Also known as the Annoyingus Intuitus Cogitus Quietus, or "common ENTP"
Also known as 8w7
Also known as SCUEI
Also known as hey wait a second are you reading this why this is really freakin' small and light you must be one of the guys that reads copyright info but ok you're hear and i'm here so how about you pm me if you really went out of your way to finish this sentence
Disclaimer: AlmightyArKives ltd. ("The Company") does not guarantee that this program will turn you ("You") into an ENTP; nor that it will take 30 days, either. The Company is not responsible, liable, or empathetic for any adverse effects that may or may not occur as the result of attempted ENTP transmutation, including the following: delusion, hysteria, schizophrenia, ADD, ADHD, AIDS, need of aid, denial of such aid, intense denial, intense emotion, excessive motion, motions to adjourn, a journey into the unknown, other unknowns, bastard children and small fires.
Second Disclaimer: If you can't read this with your tongue inside your cheek, you need a longer tongue or a higher... amount of Botox.
OK, enough fancy title formatting.
Introduction: Wanna be an ENTP?
We've all seen them before. And it's hard not to: they stand out. The ENTP
Before I get to what an ENTP is (although here's a spoiler: a contradiction), I think it's important to establish why you should want to be an ENTP. And it's easy: because they're fucking awesome.
Look around you. All of the ideas, all of the laws, all of the societies. These are the products of NTs, fruits of intellectual labor. Now, it's true that ENTJ is probably the best boss, being able to keep people in line to the very end, and not blindly. It's true that INTJs are intensely pragmatic, with insights so invaluable that you might wonder how you ever lived without them. And it's true that INTPs are brilliant, with a possible depth of understanding that may never be experienced by most men.
But who is invaluable at almost all of these steps? A visionary. A leader. Someone brilliant but with grassroots charm that can see what the people need, why they need it, tell it to them, and adjust appropriately. That's where the crazy motherfucking ENTP steps in. You could look for anyone that's holding the cutting edge, the blunted pen, the unconventional opinion. Or you could look for anyone named Q. Either way, you have an ENTP.
In a nutshell, a well developed ENTP is probably smack in the middle of a Venn diagram composed of every type (I have yet to try this, but I'm making a point here). They're primary extroverted intuitive perceivers, so you'd know they're great at a party and are ingenious. But then they're also introverted thinkers, so they can be serious, intelligent and detached when they have to be: crucial in today's fast moving, amoral world. This tendency to be amoral is countered by a tertiary Fe, which makes sure that this tendency doesn't get out of hand, and that you have a reliable friend behind you. And, despite the fact that introverted sensing, or experience, is inferior, this means that an ENTP is always moving forward In terms of sheer adaptability, capability, potential and fun, you could do a lot worse than be an ENTP.
Hell, you ALWAYS do worse than being an ENTP, and that's a FACT*.
So, now the question remains: how do we join this fashionable elite few?
What is an ENTP?
As much as I'd like to say that ENTPs are made, not born, Jung said they're born. But, hey, fuck it: I'm trying to be a fucking ENTP, so out with that! UNLEASH YOUR INNER ENTP!**
When you're thinking of becoming an ENTP, it's important to choose what kind of ENTP you want to be (side note: ENTP sounds like a toothless Native American trying to give directions). Like other subtypes of Jungian psychology, ENTP has "subber"-types, of their own. Unlike other subtypes, all ENTP subbertypes are equally awesome. While the INTP varies from masterful physicist to fast-food worker, the INTJ from Supreme Commander to furry-mongrel, and the ENTJ from asshole to worse***, the ENTP, although often times a laughable failure, can shrug it off entirely: it's a part of the act.
So, what are the main subber types of an ENTP? I have identified four:
- The Gadly
- The Innovator
- The Lawyer
Let's go down the list and leave the best for last.
Above: Famous Gadflies George Carlin, Bill Hicks and the Gadfly of Athens himself, Socrates
Gadflies are what most ENTPs are in their youth: non-conforming and just discovering their gift for the gab. Some keep pursuing this gift and become one of the most needed kind of citizen in society today: the satirist. Although ENTP humor may show a tendency for the random, or the surreal, that is simply due to a lack of application. Combine this humor with the ENTP insight and intelligence, and you have a devastating combination: a non-conformist with a bite, that won't get off your back. Gadfly ENTPs are the ultimate truth-sayers.
Above: Richard Feynman, Thomas Edison (although probably ENTX) and Buckminster Fuller, whose lexicon scccreeeaaammms Ne
Innovators drive the motor of the world. When an ENTP is a knowledge worker, you know shit's about to go down, because oftentimes ENTPs are completely uncompromising when they have faith in an idea and do everything in their power to make sure it comes into reality.
Well, at least the prototype.
ENTP Innovator subber-types ride off the high from solving problems and generating new ones, as well as getting people to do it for them and take the reigns after everything has been figured out. Some people call this a weakness, but it might as well be the case: creativity begets more creativity, and innovators make full use of the Ne-Ti combination beget to them. New thoughts from these people are indispensable in our society today.
Most ENTPs experiment with being innovators in their later school careers, when they might have the time or the resources to do so.
Above: Possible Lawyer Barack Obama, and Aaron Eckhart in "Thank You For Smoking"
Not much to say here. Except, you know, the constitution was drafted by a bunch of NTs, and you can bet your ass that some of them happened to be ENTPs. I think that this is a habit that no NTP truly rids themselves of: the habit of the love of debate, the wonders and amorality of argument and feeling right. By the way, this is a wonderful ENTP strength: In no shape, size or form do most ENTPs take an argument personally. While a lot of us NTs argue for sport, sometimes it is tough to distance ourselves fully, thus missing out on something that the opposition may give to us. But, oooh no, not the ENTP: the ENTP can be WRONG, and admit to it!
Above: ENTP Gods Loki, who is uncharacteristically getting his ass kicked, and Q. Well, Q. 'Nuff said.
Not following God, not like God, not even gods: straight up G-O-D.
Although most ENTPs aren't God, being God confers many benefits to ENTPs, namely:
- Sovereign Power: What better way to be non-conforming to the rules.... by making the rules? And not caring?
- All-Knowingness: Although it's futile to know everything (sorry guys, but it's true), it's still something to live up to. The pursuit of knowledge is the pursuit of godliness. And imagine all the debates you'd win.
- Sick Humor: You have to admit, that if God exists, he'd have an NT's humor to let this place fuck up this bad.
Irrefutably, most Gods, and the best Gods, are ENTP. So what are you waiting for?
So what are YOU going to do for ME?
I'm going to attack this problem the only way an INTP knows how: by overanalyzing the shit out of it and drafting plans that never get followed through with.
Just kidding. I've been brainstorming topics to post over the next thirty days on how to be more ENTP-like. Will they be scientific? are they true? NO FUCKING CLUE!
SO JOIN ME MA BROTHAS AND SISTAS ON THIS TREK TO DIS GREAT LAAAAAND.
Well, OK, not quite. If there are those of you that don't think that somehow you can become whoever you want to be, how about a lesson from an ENTP on how important it is to keep trying:
*May not be a fact
**Now available at bookstores nationwide
***TONGUE IN CHEEK TONGUE IN CHEEK TONGUE IN CHEEK