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  1. #11
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    Depends on the source. Typically, I compartmentalize my anger, identify why, and it sort of... dissipates. Like how a heat sink works to cool a processor. By intellectualizing anger, part of the explosive properties of mine are removed. I'll vent it verbally in sarcasm or in the verbal abuse of the person that made me mad. When expressed this way, it seems cold.

    Where my anger is explosive is when I am physically hurt. Then, my reaction is immediate and arguably over the top. Like this morning. I hit my head on my shower bar, screamed, "FUCK!" as loud as I could, and I hit it. For some reason, I treat physical pain as the environment doing something to me, so I do something to the environment. I hurt it back! Childish, but I can't seem to shake it.

    I was much worse as a teen. I've mellowed out.

  2. #12
    Senior Member Nicodemus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    This is broadening it from NT types, but also I think Js are far more likely to hold grudges, aren't they...maybe IxxJs in particular?
    I do.

  3. #13
    Habitual Fi LineStepper JocktheMotie's Avatar
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    I don't know if I hold grudges.

    But I certainly don't forget. Not sure if that's the same thing.

  4. #14
    Pose! Salt n' pepper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by SilkRoad View Post
    This is broadening it from NT types, but also I think Js are far more likely to hold grudges, aren't they...maybe IxxJs in particular?
    I used to when I was younger, for a long ass time. Now I'm much more practical about it.

  5. #15
    Lay the coin on my tongue SilkRoad's Avatar
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    I very rarely hold grudges, but when I do they are bitter and long-lasting and do me a lot of damage, while the other person is probably totally oblivious.
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  6. #16
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    I don't get angry very often either. Mainly because I do try to figure out the source of it, like Motie. I usually get generally irritable when angry so little after little inconvience builds up and I let it all out in one big yell. It seems to work.

  7. #17
    ¡MI TORTA! Amethyst's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecttcelfeR View Post
    I don't get angry very often either. Mainly because I do try to figure out the source of it, like Motie. I usually get generally irritable when angry so little after little inconvience builds up and I let it all out in one big yell. It seems to work.
    This, and when I can't figure out what caused me to be angry and was there a reason for it...I either dismiss the people who have wronged me in being in a lesser place or I become incredibly angry and bitter for a long time until something better in my life comes my way.

  8. #18
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Most often, I go into Te lockdown and appear outwardly calm but get cutting. No yelling, screaming or temper tantrums.

    As for grudge-holding, less grudges, more distrust or a lack of interest to re-engage.

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by JocktheMotie View Post
    I don't know if I hold grudges.

    But I certainly don't forget. Not sure if that's the same thing.
    This is me, I forget nothing when it comes to someone that pizzed me off.

    For me, it's like I have an incredibly looooooong fuse but once it hits -- I explode. It takes a LOT to get me there but once there it's not pretty and I'm NOT going to forget it.

    I've been told by people that I'm dismissive and cold to those who have pissed me off and that I should learn to forgive. I'll grant them that -- I often don't understand forgiveness. I guess I think I'm generally a low maintenance person as it is and I'm laid back about a lot of things and look the other way a lot for people but once you've crossed that line, I'm just simply done with you. I don't want to think about you, I don't want to have a make up session, it doesn't make me feel better. I don't hate you, I just want you over there out of my sight.

  10. #20
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    If I'm angry at a situation, I will typically vent about it with someone until I can wrap my brain around it and figure out if there's a solution or not. If not, venting at least helps.

    If I'm angry at a person, especially if that person does or says something that hurts me or makes me feel like I've been treated unfairly, it sends me into a loop where I'm extremely upset, but am trying to look at it from all angles. I think a lot of times, I feel like I'm being pretty considerate and trying to do no harm, and so I feel like I should be treated that way, too. So if I find myself in a situation where I feel even slightly betrayed as far as the rules of "being cool" go, it really does a number on me. I tend to shut down and become very frosty, and usually the other person will have to bring it up again if they want to talk about it, because it feels weird to me to go, "Hey, I didn't like how you did x."

    Sometimes it's a relief if someone will just yell, because I don't feel like I have to have all the answers then--I just react in the moment and say my piece.
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