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Thread: for the womenz

  1. #1
    Senior Member hilo's Avatar
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    Default for the womenz

    or men, if you want to really stretch your imagination...

    Today I got an email from a friend which had an unfortunate amount of detail about her home birth of her second child. I was somewhat disgusted and pretty much disturbed by the whole description. Although I've been theoretically planning on kids, the lack of complete delight with the concept of pregnancy has been bothering me lately as more of my friends are having families and my own is pressuring me to "get on with it".

    I know women typically supposed to have some sort of "clock" or biological urge, but the older I get the weirder I feel about the whole pregnancy thing. I really don't like the idea of a parasitic human living in my body and then having to force them out my nether regions. Regardless of pros/cons of having children, any sane position on this part has to be that it sucks!

    I'd like to know what other NT ladies feel about this.
    I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
    - Umberto Eco

    INTP e9 (sx/so/sp)
    Ti = Ne (41.3) > Si (31.2) ~ Ni (31.1) ~ Te (30.1) > Se (24.1) >> Fe (21) & Fi (20.1)

  2. #2
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    I have four children.

    I wish I could have laid an egg and sat on each and every time.

    I resented being pregnant; it felt like a very primitive state. It reminded me that I had a body, I couldn't ignore it and I actually had to take good care of myself. I'm not good at that so it forced me to make major changes.

    I have known women to have a connection with their passenger from the very beginning. I never had any positive feelings until around the 7th month of pregnancy (but one's state of mind changes drastically in the final months). It finally dawned on me that the little person would be here soon. It also helped that mothers can discern some of their character by that time, too. You can sense things like if they are active, sleep a lot, like being comfortable...I know it sounds strange but it happens.

    Birth. It's messy...sometimes really messy. I dislike that, too, but you kinda don't care while it's going on. Your body knows what it's doing and it just takes over. That can be highly unpleasant or you can experience relief from it.

    I exercised a lot of control in learning and then putting into practice the things I had learned to ease the process of pregnancy, childbirth, and post-partum. It helped immensely...

    ...but I still wished I could have laid an egg.

    And yes, you will get all mushy when you see that squishy little face. You can always say it's hormonal.

  3. #3
    Senior Member hilo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Redbone View Post
    I have four children.

    I wish I could have laid an egg and sat on each and every time.

    I resented being pregnant; it felt like a very primitive state.
    I can relate to this if it is anything like what I feel when I am really really sick or when my body just says "no" to something.

    Thanks for sharing your experiences...

    I wonder if NT women have fewer kids? I know INTP are married the least. Hmmm.
    I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
    - Umberto Eco

    INTP e9 (sx/so/sp)
    Ti = Ne (41.3) > Si (31.2) ~ Ni (31.1) ~ Te (30.1) > Se (24.1) >> Fe (21) & Fi (20.1)

  4. #4
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by hilo View Post
    Today I got an email from a friend which had an unfortunate amount of detail about her home birth of her second child. I was somewhat disgusted and pretty much disturbed by the whole description. Although I've been theoretically planning on kids, the lack of complete delight with the concept of pregnancy has been bothering me lately as more of my friends are having families and my own is pressuring me to "get on with it".

    I know women typically supposed to have some sort of "clock" or biological urge, but the older I get the weirder I feel about the whole pregnancy thing. I really don't like the idea of a parasitic human living in my body and then having to force them out my nether regions. Regardless of pros/cons of having children, any sane position on this part has to be that it sucks!

    I'd like to know what other NT ladies feel about this.
    It was probably an NT woman that invented surrogacy.
    I can't imagine that there is anything that could persuade me to willingly go through such an ordeal.
    And then to be lumbered with a screaming brat at the end of it all? Um...no thanks.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  5. #5
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Yeah, birth is just pretty much full of shit and piss and blood. You can't glamorize it, the movies and TV shows are laughable. And labor can be a bitch.

    Personally, I'd give just about anything to be able to carry and birth a baby... but pretty much what you describe is pretty typical from what I've seen from NT women on the matter. Probably the least likely archetype to want to be pregnant or to enjoy being pregnant.

    It would definitely be an ordeal to care for a baby for some number of months after and be on a three-hour sleep schedule and lose your autonomy, especially if you've never had a kid before. It is basically selling a few years of your life away, so if you don't think there are perks/benefits to it, it would be an ordeal.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  6. #6
    Senior Member MonkeyGrass's Avatar
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    I'm a birth worker and a home birther, and, I gotta tell you...

    I'm not a huge fan of being pregnant myself. Love the feeling of "Whoa. My body made that." Hate the feeling of an alien being moving in my skin. ::skeeve:: Love watching newborns blink at their mothers in wonder. Hate the gore.

    Birth wasn't a horrid experience for me; actually, I found it spiritual and empowering. Lots of thinking type women tend to tolerate it for the end product. Both responses to the process are normal and totally fine. Not at all indicative of the kind of relationship you'll have with your kids.
    I think I think more than you think I think.

  7. #7
    Consulting Detective Mr. Sherlock Holmes's Avatar
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    Hilo?

  8. #8
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    Pushing something out? I reserve that only for bowel movements.

    I would love to adopt.

  9. #9
    Senior Member hilo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MonkeyGrass View Post
    Both responses to the process are normal and totally fine. Not at all indicative of the kind of relationship you'll have with your kids.
    Thanks
    I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
    - Umberto Eco

    INTP e9 (sx/so/sp)
    Ti = Ne (41.3) > Si (31.2) ~ Ni (31.1) ~ Te (30.1) > Se (24.1) >> Fe (21) & Fi (20.1)

  10. #10
    Giggity Vie's Avatar
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    I can't wait to pop out a bunch of kids.

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