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[NT] "Wow, you're smart"

Kenneth Almighty

New member
Joined
Oct 18, 2009
Messages
184
MBTI Type
ENXP
There was this study that showed that kids called smart when they were kids were prone to work less hard and be less motivated later on in life, because they'd stick to the simple problems and got frustrated with hard ones, thinking that it interfered with their self-worth.

That's what got me off the bragging track, because it seemed to be my case. Now I shut up about whatever intelligence I have and instead try to gain it.
 

visaisahero

New member
Joined
Nov 13, 2009
Messages
557
MBTI Type
ENTP
It was the case for me, too. My parents (and even my teachers in school) praised me for my "natural talent and intelligence", which allowed me to convince myself that I could just coast throughout life without ever having to do any hard work.

On retrospect, I believe that my "natural talent and intelligence" really just stems from the fact that I used to read and think and experiment a lot as a young child, more so than most of my peers at such a young age. I have since then witnessed the startling rise of some of my peers (who I formerly considered intellectual inferiors)- because they made consistent, concerted efforts at personal and intellectual growth.

I spent my entire teenage years with an inflated sense of self-worth, and not knowing the value of hard work. I'm only just coming to terms with that now. It's troubling and traumatising at first, but immensely rewarding and liberating after you come to terms with it and start doing something about it.
 

Kenneth Almighty

New member
Joined
Oct 18, 2009
Messages
184
MBTI Type
ENXP
It was the case for me, too. My parents (and even my teachers in school) praised me for my "natural talent and intelligence", which allowed me to convince myself that I could just coast throughout life without ever having to do any hard work.

On retrospect, I believe that my "natural talent and intelligence" really just stems from the fact that I used to read and think and experiment a lot as a young child, more so than most of my peers at such a young age. I have since then witnessed the startling rise of some of my peers (who I formerly considered intellectual inferiors)- because they made consistent, concerted efforts at personal and intellectual growth.

I spent my entire teenage years with an inflated sense of self-worth, and not knowing the value of hard work. I'm only just coming to terms with that now. It's troubling and traumatising at first, but immensely rewarding and liberating after you come to terms with it and start doing something about it.

God, I hope you're right. My childhood was somewhat similar, especially since my Dad is an NT. This is my last year of high school and I'm feeling sickly. The exact same has been happening to me. Any advice?
 

visaisahero

New member
Joined
Nov 13, 2009
Messages
557
MBTI Type
ENTP
Self-evaluation. Be your own harshest critic. Imagine stepping out of your own body and looking at yourself- what would you dislike about that person? What would you disapprove of? What are his flaws, weaknesses? What is he doing that's obviously wrong? It can be a fun (if humbling) exercise to do. I personally enjoy doing this with pen and paper. What are your strengths and weaknesses? Which of your strengths are not-all-that-great? Imagine you're being tasked to utterly destroy and decimate your self-worth.

Once you hit rock bottom, take a deep breath, smile and start listing out what you want to work on, what you want to be able to be proud of. Coasting along is something I used to be proud of, but not anymore. Intense and prolonged self-scrutiny is the key. Make it a part of your daily routine- set aside 10 minutes a day to ask yourself- maybe in a mirror, maybe speaking out loud- what did you accomplish that day? Are you really proud of what you did? What do you want for yourself, and what do you need to do to achieve it? You already know the answer. Now go do it.

(PS: This strategy works for me, and presumably for other arrogant and egoistic bastards. It might do irreversible damage to ordinary mortals who experience self-doubt. I bear no responsibility for the results of a thought-exercise that you choose to follow out of your own free will).
 

Kenneth Almighty

New member
Joined
Oct 18, 2009
Messages
184
MBTI Type
ENXP
Self-evaluation. Be your own harshest critic. Imagine stepping out of your own body and looking at yourself- what would you dislike about that person? What would you disapprove of? What are his flaws, weaknesses? What is he doing that's obviously wrong? It can be a fun (if humbling) exercise to do. I personally enjoy doing this with pen and paper. What are your strengths and weaknesses? Which of your strengths are not-all-that-great? Imagine you're being tasked to utterly destroy and decimate your self-worth.

Once you hit rock bottom, take a deep breath, smile and start listing out what you want to work on, what you want to be able to be proud of. Coasting along is something I used to be proud of, but not anymore. Intense and prolonged self-scrutiny is the key. Make it a part of your daily routine- set aside 10 minutes a day to ask yourself- maybe in a mirror, maybe speaking out loud- what did you accomplish that day? Are you really proud of what you did? What do you want for yourself, and what do you need to do to achieve it? You already know the answer. Now go do it.

(PS: This strategy works for me, and presumably for other arrogant and egoistic bastards. It might do irreversible damage to ordinary mortals who experience self-doubt. I bear no responsibility for the results of a thought-exercise that you choose to follow out of your own free will).

Nice save :p If I become Satan I'll let you know.
 
G

Glycerine

Guest
hahaha, I say it to people when they know A LOT and seem pretty informed about something that I have no background in or are just generally sharp-minded.
 

Kenneth Almighty

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Joined
Oct 18, 2009
Messages
184
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ENXP
hahaha, I say it to people when they know A LOT and seem pretty informed about something that I have no background in or are just generally sharp-minded.

I say it to people who are cognitively flexible, the ones who know a lot in a bunch of fields. There's this girl I know who's a complete spaz, and her highest ambition in life is to become a bassist, but probably has the highest IQ in the entire school because she has a giant SAT score, and has a diverse palate of subjects (Computer Science and Psychology... both advanced). Another one is a guy who's intelligent, but what astounds me is his capacity for introspection... he has a crazy theory of where intelligence came from that is both engaging and logically sound. Complete nonsense, but given the intellectual effort involved and the amount he believes in it, you can tell that there's something there in that cranium.

I'm generally called "smart" for things that I wouldn't necessarily consider intelligence: general knowledge and fluency, good linguistic and reasoning skills etc. These are important, yeah, but like Visa said above any bloke off the street given the time and effort could master these easily. I'm above average, but so is everyone else in their own way. NTs just happen to ratiocinate a lot more, but it doesn't mean they're intelligent about it :p
 

Coriolis

Si vis pacem, para bellum
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Apr 18, 2010
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27,230
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6
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sp/sx
There was this study that showed that kids called smart when they were kids were prone to work less hard and be less motivated later on in life, because they'd stick to the simple problems and got frustrated with hard ones, thinking that it interfered with their self-worth.

That's what got me off the bragging track, because it seemed to be my case. Now I shut up about whatever intelligence I have and instead try to gain it.
If anything, the reverse was true for me. I was called smart throughout my childhood, and consistently complimented on my academic and intellectual ability. I took it (and my actual accomplishments) as confirmation that I had a skills/abilities/gifts that I could do things with, and so I did. It was almost a perpetual game of one-upsmanship with myself. I pushed myself always to do better than whatever I had done last, to raise the bar higher on myself.
 

A. Zhang

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Joined
Sep 11, 2010
Messages
90
MBTI Type
ENTJ
If anything, the reverse was true for me. I was called smart throughout my childhood, and consistently complimented on my academic and intellectual ability. I took it (and my actual accomplishments) as confirmation that I had a skills/abilities/gifts that I could do things with, and so I did. It was almost a perpetual game of one-upsmanship with myself. I pushed myself always to do better than whatever I had done last, to raise the bar higher on myself.

No, that's just 'cuz you're an INTJ, lol.
 

visaisahero

New member
Joined
Nov 13, 2009
Messages
557
MBTI Type
ENTP
If anything, the reverse was true for me. I was called smart throughout my childhood, and consistently complimented on my academic and intellectual ability. I took it (and my actual accomplishments) as confirmation that I had a skills/abilities/gifts that I could do things with, and so I did. It was almost a perpetual game of one-upsmanship with myself. I pushed myself always to do better than whatever I had done last, to raise the bar higher on myself.

The difference, the way I see it, is that you were conscious of the fact that you had put in effort, and that the validation you received was ultimately a validation of that effort- that there was a co-relation between your effort and your academic/intellectual ability.

I never realised this. I had always thought that I never had to put in any effort to be who or where I was, and reasoned that if that were the case I wouldn't really have to work hard at anything at all.
 

crimewave

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Joined
Sep 21, 2010
Messages
2
MBTI Type
INTJ
I usually reply with a stern, "I know".

Otherwise i generally give the other person a "i-don't-know-what-to-say" look and carry on with what i'm doing.
 
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