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[INTJ] I need INTJ help!

Mr. Sherlock Holmes

Consulting Detective
Joined
Aug 10, 2010
Messages
1,450
MBTI Type
JiNe
Enneagram
5W4
I have thought about this. We had a huge discussion about this...because she does not believe anything I have 'issues' with has anything to do with personality. She seems to think everyone is the same, it just all has to do with upbringing? I could never act like her. Even if I didnt interupt etc etc.

Well she's just wrong in this case. Personality is a mixture of nature and nurture, and this varies. By statistical means coming from an abusive family she should be an irresponsible, aggressive drug addict who gets in fights. The fact that she is not (I don't think) is proof to the contrary.
 

awwsha

New member
Joined
Sep 1, 2010
Messages
55
MBTI Type
ESFP
I'm not really sure why you care. She sounds like she sucks.

Hahaha...thats a good way to put it! I am not really sure why I care actually. Other than I am just sick of her making my life absolute hell. I wanted to just move away. But then thats me running away from my problems again.
 

Shiet_Happens

New member
Joined
Sep 12, 2010
Messages
85
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w6?
yea i think the best option would just stay "friends" or neutral. I mean you both prbly have some other friends beside each other so just get closer with them. I would just stay "friendly" enough so it wouldn't be awkward when we asked for help on something.
 

Random Ness

New member
Joined
Aug 17, 2010
Messages
270
ESFP-INTJ? Opposites? Not usually compatible. And it sounds like you guys are really, really incompatible. Explain to her that you two do not get along and don't be friends with her again. She'll probably be nasty to you back, but that sounds like a very unhealthy friendship.
 

Random Ness

New member
Joined
Aug 17, 2010
Messages
270
A letter is a good idea! Thank you so much for your advice :) :)

But I think you should only do that if you really, really want to become good friends. Otherwise there will probably be nasty disagreements between you two which don't matter if you're just going to be acquaintances or not be in contact at all anyway.
 

Not_Me

New member
Joined
Jan 16, 2008
Messages
1,641
MBTI Type
INTj
Many younger INTJs tend to be bluntly honest in their opinions because that's how they would like to receive it. If you ever talked to her about things not going well in your life, then her natural reaction would be to help you fix them, rather than to offer you any sympathy.
 

Kra

Black Magic Buzzard
Joined
Jun 24, 2009
Messages
912
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
4w5
The interrupting thing can be annoying, and I don't really think it has anything to do with personality... That being said, I don't think a healthy INTJ would bite your head right off unless it was done very often.

You mentioned that she is probably not in the most healthy state. This INTJ, for one, can't stand this sort of drama, and I go to great lengths to avoid it. It sounds to me like she has not yet learned the life-saving (for an INTJ at the very least) virtue of patience, and she's probably not going to learn it without some negative feedback.

I say distance yourself for a while. It will give her time to further reflect on the value of your friendship, and how compromise will have to be involved. Most importantly though, it will give you time to recompose yourself and relax after having to deal with her recent blowup. :D
 
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