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  1. #31
    ThatGirl
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    Am I the only one who doesn't think steam rolling is a product of bossiness?

    Honestly, usually when I steam roll someone it has nothing to do with the person. It is more that they got caught in the line of fire between me and my goal. The more they stay there the more intense it is.

    If you don't want to get caught in it you can align yourself with the goal so you are "running" with them. So, say it is a work scenario. You NEED space to work efficiently. Just provide them with a rundown. What you are working on and what it will take for you to get there.

    "I am working on this which I think will really help to secure the *input end result*. I just need a little time to work out a few kinks, and will get back to you as soon as it is completed."

    Then follow through. Eventually they will get a feel for how you work best.

    If they are just on a power trip..... yeah, sucks to be you. Doesn't really pertain to type. That's more of an attitude issue.

  2. #32
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    Or the INTP just plain procrastinated.


    Not sure I've ever seen this. I've seen ESTJ's be TKO'd so to speak, but I wasn't really able to get a read on how it affected them. They (as well as ENTJ's) seem very "tough" and almost like you can't phase them because they will just dispose of you if they can. I saw a co-worker stand up to the ESTJ boss one time. He said to the ESTJ, "If you keep treating me this way, I'm going to walk off the job and never come back." The ESTJ said, "See ya later! And don't bother coming back tomorrow."
    Nope. That was a no loss threat for the ESTJ as the employer, if the ESTJ was already frustrated with the employee.
    Like I said, I've had to really "go off" on ESTJ's a few times in my life (family, boss, friends) to the point to where I'm looking them right in the eye and basically saying, "You have a big problem and I'm done taking crap from you, so back off!" (and that's a nice way of putting it). One time when this happened, my ESTJ boss looked a little dazed and he said, "OK, everyone just go home for the day. Let's come back tomorrow and try it again." Everyone was like:

    And the next day, he was much nicer and very "careful" with me, but it didn't take but a few days and he was back to steamrolling people again.
    I'm not certain you can peel an ESTJ back on a permanent basis. They'll keep trying just like what happened in your situation.

    But after proverbially flattening my friend when she goes too far, I remind her of the instance in a teasing way and she'll laugh along and keep toeing the line. Subtlety does NOT work. Clear, hard boundaries.

  3. #33
    Senior Member BlueGray's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecttcelfeR View Post
    You'll only be steam-rolled if you allow yourself to be steam-rolled. Keep your head about you when you are around them and you can keep up and avoid it.

    Ti is a strong 'defense' against being steam-rolled.
    Have to agree with this. I seem to get along with ENTJs very well and do better than most other people at not getting steamrolled. Resulting discussions/arguments have made some outside observers question my sanity but I enjoyed it.
    Ne > Ti > Si >> Te > Se >> Fe > Fi > Ni
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    Chaotic Neutral/Evil

  4. #34
    Sugar Hiccup OrangeAppled's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by candylandjoe View Post
    How would you compare your steamrolling abilities to your sensory counterparts (estjs)?

    I find entjs far more forgiving of human failings, willing to listen to an extent-- whereas estjs are more likely to employ or threaten physical violence based on inconclusive evidence. As an infp, I've witnessed this first hand.
    This is my experience also....not the physical violence part, but just finding ENTJs less nitpicky, less insensitive, and less annoying in general than ESTJs. Now to be all diplomatic NF-ey, I don't find ALL ESTJs to be that way either.
    Often a star was waiting for you to notice it. A wave rolled toward you out of the distant past, or as you walked under an open window, a violin yielded itself to your hearing. All this was mission. But could you accomplish it? (Rilke)

    INFP | 4w5 sp/sx | RLUEI - Primary Inquisitive | Tritype is tripe

  5. #35
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    It depends, lol...I wasn't really ever given the opportunity to steam roll anyone, because
    I knew enough stronger personalities, but by the time I was in my late teens/early 20s, I
    did learn how to start telling idiots to piss off.

  6. #36
    Senior Member man's Avatar
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    i've never steamrolled in my life

    id prefer harmony or im a dick if i really dont like the person, but generally i like nice
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  7. #37
    Giggity Vie's Avatar
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    I steamroll when bitches and hos get in my way.

    I cast them and their silly emotions aside if they are standing in the way of what I believe to be the right thing or answer with life and my goals. I take no consideration into how they are feeling and will then "steam roll" them. I am not doing this because I want to boss them around or hurt them, but because I feel as though it is the thing to do.

    In social situations, I let people do what they want. I don't boss them around and I sort of stand back and watch them mess up. People sometimes have to learn for themselves. But if it is going to affect me or someone else, I step in and become what others consider "bossy".

    I'm a firm believer in a leading by set rules when leading in a job. I listen to the consensus, find a few solutions, and proceed by asking the group what they want to do from that groups of solutions AND only those solutions. I find that allowing people to have free rein in some instances with no ideas wastes time and gets you no where. I won't steam roll someone into my belief or idea though, but instead follow through with what people on a whole agreed on. I can see how this would be considered manipulative though...

  8. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Frank View Post
    ENTJ- Is this true in how you see yourself?
    Not really.

    It's (steam rolling that is) an option on my dial, but not my default setting if that makes any sense.

    The ability is there, but the desire is lacking.

    But I'm an 8w9 and not very representative of ENTJ's as a whole, so your mileage may vary.

  9. #39
    Junior Member pragmatic_skeptic8's Avatar
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    Yes, this can happen, but can be unlearned through practice and supportive encouragement. If you've ever had the experience of having something that needs to be done, knowing exactly what has to be done to do it quickly and with minimal effort and maximum gain, be surrounded by people perfectly capable of doing it, but who can't organize themselves, and feeling an uncontrollable desire to share what is obvious to you about all this with everyone, then you have glimpsed ENTJ reality. It is entirely natural, on some level, to grok the situation and just start giving orders assuming everyone is on the same page and ready to go.

    Problem is, that is, all too often, not the case, and preliminary preparation must be done first. It is behooves the ENTJ to learn how to recognize those situations and how to build the rapport with everyone around to create buy-in, so people naturally want to the task. And then, the real trick is often in discovering that the way that is best for a particular group or team is not necessarily the ENTJ's pre-conceived perfectly efficient plan. Oftentimes a team actually benefits in the long term by undergoing an inefficient, learning process whereby mistakes are made, but skills and awareness are increased, thus making greater human capital available. Everything is not always a production process. But when it is, and you need someone who gets it, find an ENTJ and do what they say.
    Form is none other than emptiness; emptiness is not separate from form.

    Recognize the truth, maintain the view, rest in spontaneous liberation.

    Whenever possible, act decisively, with intent and execute skillfully. When this is impossible, avoid acting until it becomes possible, or improvise and act conservatively.

    What is your vision? How do you make it come alive?

  10. #40
    Junior Member pragmatic_skeptic8's Avatar
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    Furthermore, I think wiser ENTJs assess their people really keenly, and recognize what they are and are not capable of, and deliberately plan to ask them always to do something that is just barely within reach of their capabilities, thus challenging them to stretch and grow in what they can do, but at the same time, not expecting them to do more then what they have shown they can do (and thus contingency planning for them to do only that much, even if also directing them to go further). Simultaneously it would be a mistake to assume people are worthless or incapable if they are not ready to perform at your desired level yet. That is not really the case. If you're actually running a team or an organization where you're invested in your people and their success, than you wouldn't write them off, or steamroll them. Instead, you might delegate something within their capability and finish the rest yourself (at your desired level of efficient performance).

    Steamrolling is a sign of insecurity, and a lust for power as a function of that. It is also a sign of stress and impatience. Calm, secure, mature ENTJs do not steamroll, except when absolutely necessary (or the lose their cool).
    Form is none other than emptiness; emptiness is not separate from form.

    Recognize the truth, maintain the view, rest in spontaneous liberation.

    Whenever possible, act decisively, with intent and execute skillfully. When this is impossible, avoid acting until it becomes possible, or improvise and act conservatively.

    What is your vision? How do you make it come alive?

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