[NT] Do people hate you?

[Siúil a Rúin]

My entire life I have had random people (whom I've never interacted with much) come and tell me I'm an asshole or how nasty of a person I am. On account of getting along well with most people I never chalked it up to much. Honestly, I've never understood why this happens. I'm curious whether this might be a "MBTI type thing" or if anyone else has had this occur to them regularly who can share some insight.

Do you live in a small, gossipy community? That could explain it. I've had random negative outbursts directed at me. It has always been the worst in small communities that are steeped in shared assumptions.

 

[Amargith]

I think anyone is going to encounter people that don't like them and vice versa. And depending on how those people deal with conflict( as well as yourself) that can turn nasty and possibly get to the level of 'hate'. It's annoying when people let little personal things turn into big gigantic drama-scenes.

 

[Salt n' pepper]

Hate, only one person in this world that I know of. But she's an insecure little emo brat so it's not a huge loss

 

[spacab]

lol, I'm as clueless to the people who hate me as I am to the people who like me.

 

[ThatGirl]

People have a tendency to think I am rude, pushy, lack compassion, and will step on anyone to get what I want, with no social filter or ability to make people feel better about their insecurities (as though those are MY responsibility).

I just punch them in the face and call it a day.

 

[prplchknz]

generally no, people don't hate me. but I think i'm sort of just their more than anything. so that might be worse, as their's no real opinion of me.

 

[Tewt]

I know of a couple people who really dislike me, not so sure if it is hate though. And usually it's not because of something I've done, it's something I haven't done oddly.

 

[Bamboo]

My entire life I have had random people (whom I've never interacted with much) come and tell me I'm an asshole or how nasty of a person I am. On account of getting along well with most people I never chalked it up to much. Honestly, I've never understood why this happens. I'm curious whether this might be a "MBTI type thing" or if anyone else has had this occur to them regularly who can share some insight.

If this happens to you on a regular basis, chances are, you're an asshole of some variety. What frequency are we talking about?

Clearly, you can't separate those comments from the context and your conduct.

However, as a general statement, most "assholes" are low on sensitivity to other people's reactions, low on open-mindedness, and are especially bullheaded in their beliefs and force them onto other people.

Or, some other factors are in play.

 

[Nicodemus]

What is the moose doing here?

 

[INTPness]

What is the moose doing here?

Same thing as the cigarette. Looking to kill its next victim.

 

[Nicodemus]

I now think it is a stag.

 

[Cheshire Grin]

I'm curious whether this might be a "MBTI type thing" or if anyone else has had this occur to them regularly who can share some insight.

Huge generalization, but here goes: Personally I like how NTs have the ability to not let what other people think "get" to them. As in they won't try to act all fuzzy and make things good just for the sake of "having harmony" to "feel better." If somebody doesn't like you guys then that's sweet you know, whatever, just carry on. Those people aren't important anyway and why the heck would you want to please them in the first place? To those who think it's more important to be nice all the time the trait probably gets misread as arrogance or ego or arseholery or whathaveyou. Some people ARE assholes but it's important to differentiate between those who are purposely trying to get you riled up and those who just don't care much about those kinds of values. Mainly Fe stuff maybe.

The people who hate me hate me because of my political/religious/pop culture/insert topic X beliefs (which I probably admittedly instigated what I'd call a debate but they'd call an argument on), not because I was particularly mean

Ehh I've been in your position so many times. Maybe it's the way I approach things but people tend to read it as a direct challenge to their beliefs when it was never the intention...I just want to explore the issue, y'know? And then it ends up with them saying "your views are just WRONG" when I was only trying to draw out a discussion on a topic

 

[Thalassa]

Because people only love social retards when they're extremely funny, exceedingly charming, or adorably awkward.

Otherwise, it's kind of like, "Wow! You're a cold hearted superior acting asshole!"

It's also the stubborn insistence at times that logic is the only way, closing off the possibility that there are other things in life.

 

[MoneyTick]

The offline/online scenario seems to jive with my personal experience.

I have just noticed that they way people perceive me via communication by email, forums, social media etc ... is the opposite of the way they interact with me in person.

Since we cant have a face to face conversation in the online environment, people can generally voice their opinions to me without any inhibitions. But when they meet me in person, I can swear it wasn't the same person I spoke to in type.

Among some vulgar, angry, ferocious emails I've received from some dissatisfied customers - everything changes when they see me in person and they magically retort to saying how great everything was and they don't even want to bargain for a settlement. They just leave my office with a big smile on.

AND OF COURSE, its the same with women. Communication via texts or emails and in-person are two different realms.

Everything seems to go more smooth when its in-person.

 

[Bamboo]

What is the moose doing here?

Elk.

Same thing as the cigarette. Looking to kill its next victim.

If with some frequency people tell you you're an asshole, there is a heightened probability that you are, in fact, an asshole.

A good rule of diagnostics is that if you have a problem and can't figure it out, go for the easy solutions first. If the car doesn't start, you can tear out the engine and put in a new one, but you should probably check if there's gas in the tank first.

Blown Ghost, I'm just checking if there's gas in the tank. You might really be an asshole, or you might just seem like an asshole. Unclear.

Cheshire Grin said it right:

Some people ARE assholes but it's important to differentiate between those who are purposely trying to get you riled up and those who just don't care much about those kinds of values.

Or you're not an asshole, and those other people are assholes.

I now think it is a stag.

If this is a pun, I don't get it.

 

[copperfish17]

lol, I'm as clueless to the people who hate me as I am to the people who like me.

Hell yes!

 

[Thinkaboutit]

I've been told by many people that they thought I was an asshole before they got to know me. They all misread my mannerisms though. It's the cold shoulders or not going out of my way to talk to them, etcetera, etcetera.

Hard not to project an aura of unfriendliness when you don't see any reason to add/force something into the conversation.

 

[Amethyst]

I wish more people didn't like me...or the people that end up liking me didn't...
I seem to attract the wrong sorts of people.

 

[CrystalViolet]

People hate me. Well some people at work do, at least. I've been told it several times. It has something to do with the fact that they do and say stupid things and make my job more difficult. I don't let them get away with it.
So they throw their toys out of the cot.

 

[Lark]

People dislike ENTJs.

Sometimes I think people dislike people who've got their shit together and can handle themselves without perpetually becoming anxious or experiencing crisis or needing someone else to help them process events, manage their emotions.

I'm not saying that ENTJs are the only people who fit that profile, sometimes they arent and I think any type which is self-aware and adjusted, adapted, happy will get the same sort of response from people who arent.

Seriously, never, ever, underestimate how much it eats away and people and provokes their rage that you could simply be happier than they are.