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Thread: Do people hate you?

  1. #51
    Senior Member Array Bamboo's Avatar
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    Jan 2009


    (Referring to my post directly above.)

    With so many differing motivations, you'll need different strategies for dealing with all of them.

    Whole books are written on each of them.

    Dealing with all these people effectively takes a lot of skill (correct identification), experience (breadth to experience all and depth to understand each), and patience (because they can be a PITA).

    No easy answers here.
    Don't know how much it'll bend til it breaks.

  2. #52
    Alchemist of life Array Coriolis's Avatar
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    Apr 2010
    5w6 sp/sx


    Quote Originally Posted by bcubchgo View Post
    I very much agree with this statement. I would add that there is also a certain amount of resentment over their interpretation of us as "too good" for them. Which is interesting because most of the time I'm not overtly expressing my superiority, I'm attempting to explain how I am dissatisfied with something. There is a huge difference that isn't picked up.

    There are several people who think I am an asshole. All I have to say to that is - I have learned to accept my need to think critically and also my need to express it, not keep it inside. I choose not to walk on eggshells with people because otherwise they take advantage of you. I'd rather just be who I am, offend people inadvertently, and just continue on. I've already proven myself to be worthy of many accolades anyway so there is a rationale to my madness that I will not be denied.
    I agree with nozflubber, too. I will often keep my mouth shut, not out of fear of offending someone, but because I don't want to risk the time and energy it would take if I did. Most of the time, the thing I would comment on isn't worth it, and I'd prefer simply to move on. I'm sure I can appear stand-offish at times, but that's not because I think I'm too good for others. In a way, it's the opposite: I keep people at a distance when I am sure I don't have what they want. No sense disappointing them and wasting my effort.

  3. #53
    Junior Member Array
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    Aug 2010


    I've had that problem, I'm somewhat of a solitary extrovert because I will never
    again need someone who relies on drama to get their way. I'd rather have a handful of trustworthy friends that walk in and out of my life from time to time
    than need someone that gradually erodes my self-image and turns my talent or
    intelligence into a joke by suggesting that I compete with others. Now that I'm
    older, I see some of those things God allowed to happen for a reason so that I
    would be able to help protect my family from some of the ass wipes we've came
    into contact with.


  4. #54
    Junior Member Array Garivande's Avatar
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    Jan 2008


    Quote Originally Posted by Thinkaboutit View Post
    I've been told by many people that they thought I was an asshole before they got to know me. They all misread my mannerisms though. It's the cold shoulders or not going out of my way to talk to them, etcetera, etcetera.

    Hard not to project an aura of unfriendliness when you don't see any reason to add/force something into the conversation.

    I've never heard anyone say they hated me - but that they disliked me for being cold and impersonal. And for never showing/telling what I really think or feel. Of course - the people stating this are E and F...

    I'm also an incourageable "know-it-all" (who always have to correct people when they get some facts wrong etc), which also tends to annoy some people...

    In (ordinary) forums I sometime make jokes (sarkasm/irony) that are misinterpreted as serious statements. Because I forget to add one of those ridiculous smily faces that will allow people to take it less seriously.

    But, all in all, nothing stronger than dislike - I think... (But, then again, I'm an insensitive bastard and might well be hated by half the population without actually realizing it - since I don't really care about their opinion anyway. [place for mischevious smiley?] )

  5. #55
    Banned Array
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    Aug 2010


    Yeah, people hate me. I know it might be surprising coming from an INFP, but yeah. Personally, it's not relevant to me whether or not people like me. It might make certain decisions easier or more difficult depending on that factor, but in my experience, you don't really have much power over whether people like or dislike you. The only thing that matters are the decisions you make and whether or not you're wiling to take responsibility for them. If you're not hurting others along the way, then you're not making very honest decisions imo. The ones you hurt that hate you aren't worth keeping, and the ones that stay with you are the ones who truly love you.

  6. #56
    .~ *aĉa virino* ~. Array Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Apr 2007
    549 sx/sp
    LII Ni


    Quote Originally Posted by Blown Ghost View Post
    My entire life I have had random people (whom I've never interacted with much) come and tell me I'm an asshole or how nasty of a person I am. On account of getting along well with most people I never chalked it up to much. Honestly, I've never understood why this happens. I'm curious whether this might be a "MBTI type thing" or if anyone else has had this occur to them regularly who can share some insight.
    It's hard to know why without more context.

    (I.e., in what environments? Reasons? Types of people who tell you this? Percentage of people? How people who don't tell you this treat you? etc.)

    They might be jerks.
    You might be a jerk.
    You all might be jerks.
    You all might not be jerks.
    Too many options here...

    I mean, it's nice other people are making general comments about how people work, but this is one problem you won't resolve without examining the context.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  7. #57
    He pronks, too! Array Magic Poriferan's Avatar
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    Nov 2007
    One sx/sp


    I assume everyone will hate me. I have found far more people have liked me than disliked me by experience, yet I never get less confounded when someone does.

    Of course, I guess there could be a lot of insincere people...
    Go to sleep, iguana.

    INTP. Type 1>6>5. sx/sp.
    Live and let live will just amount to might makes right

  8. #58
    Starcrossed Seafarer Array Aquarelle's Avatar
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    Jun 2010


    Quote Originally Posted by 5231311252 View Post
    Online? Yes. Offline? No.
    Me too! No one's ever come straight out and said they hate me, but I've had several people online (including, but not limited to, this forum) react in a very strong negative way to me the first time we interacted online. Do I just give off a terrible online vibe or something? :confused: I don't understand it.

    In real life I don't think people hate me when they first meet me... they might dislike me, mainly because a lot of people misread my shyness as snobbishness. Once people get to know me I think they like me more. But hate? I don't know, there might be a couple people in real life that hate me, but if there are I'm not aware of it.
    Masquerading as a normal person day after day is exhausting.

    My blog:
    TypeC: Adventures of an Introvert

  9. #59
    Consulting Detective Array Mr. Sherlock Holmes's Avatar
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    Aug 2010


    I have an ENTX math teacher who is a bit of an asshole. I thought he might be a psychopath for a bit but I don't think he is. He just has a bit of an evil streak. He is intimidating. When people say he is mean, he tries to defend himself. He also has a habit of spinning tall tales, so you don't always know when to trust what he says. He seems to have most people be sort of intimidated. I seem to be the only person in my class who questions him.

  10. #60
    Senior Member Array guesswho's Avatar
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    Jul 2010


    From what I saw people may hate TJs.
    I don't blame'em.

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