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  1. #51
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Very interesting insights, entropie! Out of curiosity, since you're with an INFJ, do you find your girlfriend balances you, or handles the emotional checkbook, as a friend of mine refers to it? Do you find yourself sharing emotions or being vulnerable only when absolutely necessary? How do you feel closeness to others? By sharing ideas? By being there for each other?
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  2. #52
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tallulah View Post
    Very interesting insights, entropie! Out of curiosity, since you're with an INFJ, do you find your girlfriend balances you, or handles the emotional checkbook, as a friend of mine refers to it? Do you find yourself sharing emotions or being vulnerable only when absolutely necessary? How do you feel closeness to others? By sharing ideas? By being there for each other?
    It's a miracle with my gf, I've never seen such an ability in a person ever in my life. She lives in a pretty idealistic and good world. She has dragged me into her world and now I am part of it. There are several things in speech she is allergic too and it always makes sense what she says, it's like she has found the perfect friendly way to realize communication between people. You know this show Dharma and Greg, that's me and her.

    She's an idealist thru and thru and because she's a J she has this little perceptions and things she thinks about you are feeling at the moment. She for example tells me I am grumpy and I dont feel that way, then she gives evidence and 10 minutes later I realize I am grumpy ( or I dont realize ).

    This Ni with a conviced ( J ) Fe combo, creates an emotional environment and bond between us all the time; the emotional environment is like the only thing there is for her, she doesnt even know how to apply cold logic or how to be phlegmatic in ones feelings.

    This makes things very easy for me, but she has her major rules too of course. I was living alone and moved in with her and its the same thing like you described. We both have common hobbies but own hobbies too and she wants that we do these together and we do that.

    The thing about me being discontinous with my self has given me the opportunity in life to adapt like a chamaeleon to new situations. And because I love her it was easy for me to change a lot and develop a new person from the old one. It's like a constant quest in life for self-actualization and improvement, about learning and growing, I like that very much and I am already getting my first grey hairs in the deep black mane what lets me look kinda distinctive and is a perfect reflection of a process of growth I have been thru since I met my girl.

    My girl and me are very temeperamental beings so conflict doesnt stay with us for too long. We needed a lot of time till we balanced out the inharmoniousness there was between us in the beginning. We clashed often and ended our relationship over ten times and then found back to each other again.

    I really do love her for her sensitive side that is not too sensitive and does only show for me. Meaning most of the time she's very tough and to the point, but I know her sensitive side. She became more calm over the years with me, I can bring her balance and regime. She wants that often, but when it comes to an overall look on our relationship we conduct a modern relationship of equality.

    I think she loves me, because there's deep down a person I've always been and will always be. I have been thru so many universes in life, met so many people but the core never changed. I'ld type her to be a enneagram 6 and maybe that's what defines us. I love her sense for integrity and sense for totalitarism, meaning she does things always 100% and that gives me trust, security and stability.

    I had on the weekend the sad duty to accompany her to Northern France ( she's from France ) to the funeral of her grandfather. This was the saddest thing I did so far in my life but I stood at her side. I was later that day given a huge compliment by her family: tho I speak no word in frensh and they dont speak english, they said I openly tried to communicate with them and respected all their rituals and habits. That was a thing they didnt witness often and they already had some experience with the german side of the family.

    That was a huge compliment to me, I took with great pride and I think it plays a pivotal role in understanding our relationship, since she being an abstract mind compared with her french heritage has always been somewhat out of the loop where she was living, I sometimes have the ability to connect dimensions with each other.
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  3. #53
    Senior Member StrawMan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    Many (most?) ENTPs are profoundly insecure, hence the need to impose themselves on their environment / make an impression. They need massive amounts of reassurance too.
    I find this claim of being profoundly insecure a little bit odd. Could you give some examples how you think this manifests? When I was in my teens, I wanted some amount of positive feedback, but it seemed to me that others did too, or even more so.

  4. #54
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by StrawMan View Post
    I find this claim of being profoundly insecure a little bit odd. Could you give some examples how you think this manifests? When I was in my teens, I wanted some amount of positive feedback, but it seemed to me that others did too, or even more so.
    Why ask the question if you don't think it applies?

    We really need to retitle this thread already. It's been hijacked by ENTP neediness.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  5. #55
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    Hiding is insecurity. A loud and obnoxious, assertive person is hiding his insecurity, always, cause attack is the best defense.
    Actually, the reason why my posts are generally short is exactly because I don't have the sort of insecurities that make me feel like it's a good investment of my time to explain in details in just how many ways 'people' are 'wrong' and short sighted.
    I don't believe in the notion of 'truth' to begin with I mean, but there are different degrees and scales of 'correctness' when it comes to any form of argumentation. The congruency of the informational network if you will.
    What I deny isn't the other person's point of view, which, believe me or not, I tend to get pretty well, even though I don't feel any need to aknowledge it when they're just being intellectually lazy and choosing the feel-go-about-myself solution rather than trying to see what's behind the tree and have a more holistic/systemic vision of the world.

    I always welcome a stimulating conversation, but the fact is I rarely have enough incentives to do expand the air/key strokes. Don't take me wrong, there are some people here whom I consider to be smart and interesting, but mh, if you look at the forum for example, even though it has a rare concentration of the aforementioned type, it's also full of people for whom the quintessence of intellectual life is 'to have that deep sitted gut feeling that they are right', and explaining the sheer relativism of my thought to such people is, and has been a pure waste of patience.
    I'm no healer or teacher, I don't feel the need to help people to grow the hell up if they didn't start that process themselves. Same reason why I don't think kids are fluffy and o so interesting, they're just, incomplete, in my view, as decent interlocutors.
    Expression of the post modern paradox : "For the love of god, religions are so full of shit"

    Theory is always superseded by Fact...
    ... In theory.

    “I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”
    Richard Feynman's last recorded words

    "Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart."
    Mencius (Meng-Tse), 4th century BCE

  6. #56
    Senior Member StrawMan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    Why ask the question if you don't think it applies?
    Well, I thought I could learn something. I don't "know" yet if it applies or not. But true, that's off-topic.

  7. #57
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EcK View Post
    Actually, the reason why my posts are generally short is exactly because I don't have the sort of insecurities that make me feel like it's a good investment of my time to explain in details in just how many ways 'people' are 'wrong' and short sighted.
    I don't believe in the notion of 'truth' to begin with I mean, but there are different degrees and scales of 'correctness' when it comes to any form of argumentation. The congruency of the informational network if you will.
    What I deny isn't the other person's point of view, which, believe me or not, I tend to get pretty well, even though I don't feel any need to aknowledge it when they're just being intellectually lazy and choosing the feel-go-about-myself solution rather than trying to see what's behind the tree and have a more holistic/systemic vision of the world.

    I always welcome a stimulating conversation, but the fact is I rarely have enough incentives to do expand the air/key strokes. Don't take me wrong, there are some people here whom I consider to be smart and interesting, but mh, if you look at the forum for example, even though it has a rare concentration of the aforementioned type, it's also full of people for whom the quintessence of intellectual life is 'to have that deep sitted gut feeling that they are right', and explaining the sheer relativism of my thought to such people is, and has been a pure waste of patience.
    I'm no healer or teacher, I don't feel the need to help people to grow the hell up if they didn't start that process themselves. Same reason why I don't think kids are fluffy and o so interesting, they're just, incomplete, in my view, as decent interlocutors.
    OK. So it's not that you think you're better than everyone else, just that you actually ARE better than everyone else?
    Thanks for taking the time to explain that in such detail.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  8. #58
    ✿ڿڰۣஇღ♥ wut ♥ღஇڿڰۣ✿ digesthisickness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EcK View Post
    Actually, the reason why my posts are generally short is exactly because I don't have the sort of insecurities that make me feel like it's a good investment of my time to explain in details in just how many ways 'people' are 'wrong' and short sighted.
    I don't believe in the notion of 'truth' to begin with I mean, but there are different degrees and scales of 'correctness' when it comes to any form of argumentation. The congruency of the informational network if you will.
    What I deny isn't the other person's point of view, which, believe me or not, I tend to get pretty well, even though I don't feel any need to aknowledge it when they're just being intellectually lazy and choosing the feel-go-about-myself solution rather than trying to see what's behind the tree and have a more holistic/systemic vision of the world.

    I always welcome a stimulating conversation, but the fact is I rarely have enough incentives to do expand the air/key strokes. Don't take me wrong, there are some people here whom I consider to be smart and interesting, but mh, if you look at the forum for example, even though it has a rare concentration of the aforementioned type, it's also full of people for whom the quintessence of intellectual life is 'to have that deep sitted gut feeling that they are right', and explaining the sheer relativism of my thought to such people is, and has been a pure waste of patience.
    I'm no healer or teacher, I don't feel the need to help people to grow the hell up if they didn't start that process themselves. Same reason why I don't think kids are fluffy and o so interesting, they're just, incomplete, in my view, as decent interlocutors.
    well said.
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  9. #59
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by EcK View Post
    Actually, the reason why my posts are generally short is exactly because I don't have the sort of insecurities that make me feel like it's a good investment of my time to explain in details in just how many ways 'people' are 'wrong' and short sighted.
    I don't believe in the notion of 'truth' to begin with I mean, but there are different degrees and scales of 'correctness' when it comes to any form of argumentation. The congruency of the informational network if you will.
    What I deny isn't the other person's point of view, which, believe me or not, I tend to get pretty well, even though I don't feel any need to aknowledge it when they're just being intellectually lazy and choosing the feel-go-about-myself solution rather than trying to see what's behind the tree and have a more holistic/systemic vision of the world.

    I always welcome a stimulating conversation, but the fact is I rarely have enough incentives to do expand the air/key strokes. Don't take me wrong, there are some people here whom I consider to be smart and interesting, but mh, if you look at the forum for example, even though it has a rare concentration of the aforementioned type, it's also full of people for whom the quintessence of intellectual life is 'to have that deep sitted gut feeling that they are right', and explaining the sheer relativism of my thought to such people is, and has been a pure waste of patience.
    I'm no healer or teacher, I don't feel the need to help people to grow the hell up if they didn't start that process themselves. Same reason why I don't think kids are fluffy and o so interesting, they're just, incomplete, in my view, as decent interlocutors.
    I understand and I'ld phrase it that if you have achieved a certain level of maturity, especially when you have newly achieved it, you rather want to talk to people who are there too. Plus and that is maybe more what you mean, it's frustrating if the intercolutor even seems to be resistant against viewing something more holistically and you get a good idea about what this person can be like in real life.

    I have grown up in some kind of Ghetto you can say. My family was always living near the poverty line and my friends back in the time nowadays are all criminal. I was the only one, who made it to University; but the time back then had influenced me forever.

    I never seek intellectual stimulating conversations or how I call them: philosophical conversations. I like to dream about possibilities und to dive deep into the mechanics of the Universe but I hate discussing them. On the other hand I love teaching them, I am a pretty good teacher and I am sure that one day, I'll become a teacher as a job.

    I am a big fan of the practical and pragmatical and I see the quest for finding intercolutors for intellectual exchange only not satisfieing. I am primarily looking for friends and I've always been in my life. People I like the most in that regards are the Ones, with which I can create something together, work on something and dont need to talk about personal stuff, rather joke around a lot and have the maximum amount of fun.

    I do not consider myself to be an intellectual and a popular mbti question which goes like "Do you want to be considered as a person with the ability to develop visions or as a person with a great heart ?" , I always answered with the later option.

    With the people I grew up, I had great responsibilities, they came to me for personal advice, guidance and often they made me their leader, cause I really was able to help them. And even nowadays in a job, I am on my way to become a leader again, because of my knowledge and the help I can give others.

    I do love this really, this totally an entp thing, being admired but not too much. But it's a thing you dont speak about or you will destroy it. It's like a gang of people, with one person having the masterplan, which protects everyone in the gang.

    I dont know but I like it to be here. I definitly have a god-complex and I am still not sure if I am not entj or estj but as long as I wont hurt anyone deliberatly, I think its ok for me to stay who I am.
    [URL]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEBvftJUwDw&t=0s[/URL]

  10. #60
    The Memes Justify the End EcK's Avatar
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    oh. Intellectuals as a class of people are generally people I define as sucking at everything else and assuming that it makes them good at 'being intellectuals'.
    At least the vast majority. I was talking about one's intellectual life. Not the same thing.

    You can have a really interesting talk about anything really. The issue is most of the time people start a conversation about something they know about, and if I can be bothered it takes about 15 seconds tops to start feeling the limits of their views. So I grew 'blasé' with time.
    Expression of the post modern paradox : "For the love of god, religions are so full of shit"

    Theory is always superseded by Fact...
    ... In theory.

    “I’d hate to die twice. It’s so boring.”
    Richard Feynman's last recorded words

    "Great is the human who has not lost his childlike heart."
    Mencius (Meng-Tse), 4th century BCE

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