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  1. #1
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    Default INTPs and affection

    I knew this girl in elementary school, and we spoke only a few times and didn't speak again until early high school and that was only once. It was no in-depth conversation, it's just the most casual things with another person in school. She is very deeply introspective. So soft-spoken. Then we became myspace friends a couple of years later but never really talked, and when I told her I was deleting my myspace she surprised me by being really outwardly affectionate and loving.. she said she misses me and she really doesn't want to lose a friend like me. ??but we never even really talked!
    2 years later, I contact her online because I had to tell her about something that happened to me, which she was in on, and again she surprises me by being makes-no-sense affectionate.. she says again that she misses me, and that she prays for me.
    It's like a complete stranger coming up to you on the street and saying that they pray for you.

    All I could think of this strangeness was ..INTP.
    (an INxx thing in general)

    I already knew beforehand that she's an INTP because she had taken the test at a mutual friend's house, and I knew immediately that her result was correct, even though I never really got to know her. I can tell.

    She obviously has these feelings secretly hidden away. It's just so surprising to me because she's not affectionate-like/expressive at all in person. She's SO gentle, and quiet.
    Why would she miss me? we never talked.


    INTPs here.. secretly keep similar feelings?

  2. #2
    He who laughs
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    is this romantic or friends? You have a girl as your avatar but you nfp people are hard to figure out sex wise.

  3. #3
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    friends!

  4. #4
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    It's just something people say to be polite when there's no attachment really.

  5. #5
    DoubleplusUngoodNonperson
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    It's possible you made some kind of gesture / act of kindness that was interpreted as heartfelt concern on your part...

    we INTPs can be fools in this regard and interpret generalized kindness and affection as something personal and specific to them, especially when young OR lonely...

    There's this one episode of the show scrubs, where elliott, an ESFJ, lightly brushes up against the janitor (INTP) and says something really kind and sweet. Then without hesitatation the Janitor immediately heads to a jewelry store to buy a wedding ring because he thinks she's into him after that one little act!

    as sad as it is, we can be that clueless and impressionable.


    EDIT: When you say "we never talked" - Just how sure are you about that? Just because you don't remember having serious heartfelt talks doesn't mean you didn't have one, in their eyes.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sky is BLUE! View Post
    It's just something people say to be polite when there's no attachment really.
    I thought maybe that too.


    Quote Originally Posted by nozflubber View Post
    It's possible you made some kind of gesture / act of kindness that was interpreted as heartfelt concern on your part...
    nah, we were just as casual as with any other people in school.

  7. #7
    He who laughs
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    oh thats just because she made a conscious choice to be friends with you because she feels some sort of connection with you. I get these senses that I really like this person in some strange abstract way, like we fit with eachothers personality/cultural background and so on.

    You have to understand that intp are not social initiators or atleast rarely are. And time is different to us, we can go a long time between seeing people we feel a connection with or interacting with them. Dont misinterpret time or frequency of talking/interaction with caring. That would be really wrong when dealing with intps.

    I think she feels that she has already told you in some way that she likes spending time with you or watching you and that shes waiting for some kind of response. Its like shes opened herself but she wont act on it unless she feel 100% you feel the same.

    If you want to be friends with her initiate some deeper connection. Like talk about some topic that will get her to bond deeper with you then she might be more willing to initiate in the future.

  8. #8
    DoubleplusUngoodNonperson
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    well then if you're that certain she never saw it as anything as beyond casual, perhaps it's a case of mistaken identity. I maintain, however, that it's possible while you saw it as casual, it was NOT casual in her eyes. just something to think about.

  9. #9
    He who laughs
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    Quote Originally Posted by nozflubber View Post
    It's possible you made some kind of gesture / act of kindness that was interpreted as heartfelt concern on your part...

    we INTPs can be fools in this regard and interpret generalized kindness and affection as something personal and specific to them, especially when young OR lonely...

    There's this one episode of the show scrubs, where elliott, an ESFJ, lightly brushes up against the janitor (INTP) and says something really kind and sweet. Then without hesitatation the Janitor immediately heads to a jewelry store to buy a wedding ring because he thinks she's into him after that one little act!

    as sad as it is, we can be that clueless and impressionable.


    EDIT: When you say "we never talked" - Just how sure are you about that? Just because you don't remember having serious heartfelt talks doesn't mean you didn't have one, in their eyes.
    hahahahaha serious, you are that naive?

    Edit: yes we probably are that naive sometimes. we can be social retards to the extend that we misunderstand cues. Atleast as young. Im good with social interactions and talking Ive learned myself that, but I dont always get the cues. But as older and when I have put myself in situations where my retardedness is being displayed Ive learned sometimes to not listen to them.

  10. #10
    DoubleplusUngoodNonperson
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    I used to be, yes, embarassingly enough :/

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