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  1. #111
    Member Judous's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seanan View Post
    I hear ya but you must realize that the weather question is a way of "breaking the ice" and quite literally in your case. (said respectfully) Opening any conversation you pointed to would appear, to the average person, as coming from an extremely strange and, possibly, dangerous person since they are not following accepted etiquette.

    Note: from an INTP who has learned that people are people not sources of entertainment though that may come when "trust" is developed.
    I am not to concerned with social etquette quite honestly. To me there shouldnt need to be icebreakers. If there isn't something specificly on your mind to talk about.. why talk?

    This isn't to say that I only talk about these things, or its the only things that interest me. I just don't like talking for the sake of talking.
    I = 89% N = 79% T = 84% p = 74%

  2. #112
    you are right mippus's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Judous View Post
    I am not to concerned with social etquette quite honestly. To me there shouldnt need to be icebreakers. If there isn't something specificly on your mind to talk about.. why talk?

    This isn't to say that I only talk about these things, or its the only things that interest me. I just don't like talking for the sake of talking.
    It is worth listening for one minute to see wether the talk is on a real subject or on talk. Many fascinating conversation start out plain...
    Vanitas vanitatum omnia vanitas

  3. #113
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    Quote Originally Posted by Judous View Post
    I am not to concerned with social etquette quite honestly. To me there shouldnt need to be icebreakers. If there isn't something specificly on your mind to talk about.. why talk?

    This isn't to say that I only talk about these things, or its the only things that interest me. I just don't like talking for the sake of talking.
    You miss my point... you break the ice in order to talk about something more substantial.
    That's your goal isn't it? Obviously, you don't give a flip about the person you're talking to just how much entertainment they can provide you with... seems rather egocentric to me... but so be it. If you weren't willing to at least attempt to indulge my need for comfort in conversing with you, I wouldn't be interested in what you had to say either. Seems a classic INTP growth problem and I do empathize.

  4. #114
    Senior Member Butterfly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seanan View Post
    You miss my point... you break the ice in order to talk about something more substantial.
    That's your goal isn't it? Obviously, you don't give a flip about the person you're talking to just how much entertainment they can provide you with... seems rather egocentric to me... but so be it. If you weren't willing to at least attempt to indulge my need for comfort in conversing with you, I wouldn't be interested in what you had to say either. Seems a classic INTP growth problem and I do empathize.
    I totally agree!
    This INTP I met for the first time after talking online and on phone for some time, well when we met I was naturally hesitant a bit, because I mean he was a guy from off the net after all, who knows he might be an axe murderer.

    But anyways, we sat down, I smiled, adjusted my seat, let him comment on some statement I made earlier. The moment I finally was comfortable and wanted to ask him "So how are you?", he turns his face, saying "I dont have time for niceties"!! :O
    I was in utter shock. He turned his face and said Im starving, you wanna order some food, then started talking about other things to get my reaction!!
    I was sitting there thinking "Who are you? I dont even know you, you didnt even ACKNOWLEDGE my existence, there was no eye contact, no rapport established, and you want me to open up to you?"

    So I think this 'ice breaker' you both talking about is actually ACKNOWLEDGING that the other person EXISTS! and that they are important and not merely tools you can use to gauge reactions and experiment with.
    sighhh
    thats my two cents worth.

  5. #115
    Member Judous's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seanan View Post
    You miss my point... you break the ice in order to talk about something more substantial.
    That's your goal isn't it? Obviously, you don't give a flip about the person you're talking to just how much entertainment they can provide you with... seems rather egocentric to me... but so be it. If you weren't willing to at least attempt to indulge my need for comfort in conversing with you, I wouldn't be interested in what you had to say either. Seems a classic INTP growth problem and I do empathize.
    There is nothing egocentric about it, nor does it have anything to do with the person involved. Using phrases like that as an icebreaker then leading to a decent conversation I can see, and do it myeself. My point is that if someone doesn't have anything in talk about in the first place then it's pointless.
    I = 89% N = 79% T = 84% p = 74%

  6. #116
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    Quote Originally Posted by Judous View Post
    There is nothing egocentric about it, nor does it have anything to do with the person involved. Using phrases like that as an icebreaker then leading to a decent conversation I can see, and do it myeself. My point is that if someone doesn't have anything in talk about in the first place then it's pointless.
    IC... its all about compatibility then you say? Yes, there are only a handful of people who will want to talk about specific things that interest you. But you could be surprised by the wealth of subjects that might interest you when its spurred by someone with different interests. You will never know what those are unless you ask them.... after the ice breaker of course. Then, they may be open to learning about your interests.

  7. #117
    Member Judous's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seanan View Post
    IC... its all about compatibility then you say? Yes, there are only a handful of people who will want to talk about specific things that interest you. But you could be surprised by the wealth of subjects that might interest you when its spurred by someone with different interests. You will never know what those are unless you ask them.... after the ice breaker of course. Then, they may be open to learning about your interests.
    Im always open to learn new things. Problem is im the youngest person at my company by 10 yrs, and the icebreaker they come up with usually leads to awkward silence.

    In that case, I would rather not anything be said at all.

    Although if someone wants to rabble rabble rabble.. I usually don't mind that either.
    I = 89% N = 79% T = 84% p = 74%

  8. #118
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Butterfly View Post
    I totally agree!
    This INTP I met for the first time after talking online and on phone for some time, well when we met I was naturally hesitant a bit, because I mean he was a guy from off the net after all, who knows he might be an axe murderer.

    But anyways, we sat down, I smiled, adjusted my seat, let him comment on some statement I made earlier. The moment I finally was comfortable and wanted to ask him "So how are you?", he turns his face, saying "I dont have time for niceties"!! :O
    I was in utter shock. He turned his face and said Im starving, you wanna order some food, then started talking about other things to get my reaction!!
    I was sitting there thinking "Who are you? I dont even know you, you didnt even ACKNOWLEDGE my existence, there was no eye contact, no rapport established, and you want me to open up to you?"

    So I think this 'ice breaker' you both talking about is actually ACKNOWLEDGING that the other person EXISTS! and that they are important and not merely tools you can use to gauge reactions and experiment with.
    sighhh
    thats my two cents worth.

    Yeah, there is really no excuse for that. I hate small talk, too, but it's a necessary part of getting to know someone. If that had happened to me, I'd have wanted to walk out of the restaurant.

  9. #119
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    Quote Originally Posted by Judous View Post
    Im always open to learn new things. Problem is im the youngest person at my company by 10 yrs, and the icebreaker they come up with usually leads to awkward silence.

    In that case, I would rather not anything be said at all.

    Although if someone wants to rabble rabble rabble.. I usually don't mind that either.
    That's a tuff one. I know where you're coming from. I found, right here, that the age difference really doesn't matter though. You'll see that. But, yes, I really, really, do know. I just cannot get interested in what brand of baby diapers are best or what cleaning product is... its been a constant problem. I have, with age, learned to be gracious though and endure it to a point. I'm like you and very "I."

  10. #120
    Senior Member LostInNerSpace's Avatar
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    I felt someone the other day. I don't mean I groped her or anything like that, I mean I had an internal feeling. I forget exactly where it was, but she was serving me behind a counter somewhere.

    Is it in my head or is that how feelers feel people? I'm thinking that talking and analyzing feelers is somehow helping to develop that function in me.

    Then again, I've also had other flash backs. Kind of extreme feelings of power and confidence. A couple of times I became delusional. Look ma, no drugs! Not since college anyway.

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