[INTP] INTP, falling in love easily

[Afkan]

Have you ever felt that you fall in love too easily?

Doesn't this question itself shed a lot of light into the INTP resistance to that human fallibility, love?

 

[angell_m]

Love it how this thread is filled with wiki facts on brain chemistry.

 

[Antimony]

Love it how this is a thread about INTPs and love

'Tis possible? Tis!

For useful information: I know one INTP who I dated for a short amount of time. He ended up face planting in a puddle of love over me. It was literally a face plant.

Before that, he had resisted love, or dating, at least, for 5 years? Yeah.

I would say sometimes easily, but infrequently.

 

[Salomé]

Nah, I don't fall in love easily, or, at all.

To easily explain it, their internal dialogue goes something like this:

• Wow, I'm infatuated, crazy, can't get enough of her!! *bounce, bounce, head in the clouds*
• She loves me back!! *bounce, bounce, head in the clouds*
• But why does she love me? How can she love me with a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, p, q, r, s, t, u, v, w, x, y, z faults and reason why not? If she sees a, b, c, d, she won't love me anymore, so I'd better hide them. And e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l will really turn her off, so I'd better hide them. M, n, o, p, q, r, s, t, u, v, w better be hidden too. And y, z are little things, so I can let her see these.
• God, I'm so stressed and overwhelmed hiding a - w. She doesn't really love me because she doesn't know me. Once I show her everything, she won't love me anymore, so how can she love me now?
• I don't love her. How can I love someone who only loves someone who she doesn't know? This relationship can't work. I need some space. *withdraws*
• Wash, rinse, repeat a few times.
• She broke up with me. I knew she didn't love me. What went wrong? What did I do?

LOL. Pretty accurate apart from the last part. We almost always know what went wrong because we've analyzed it to death before it's even happened.

(I'm the type of INTP who's actually a tall black guy)

I don't know why, but this made me laugh too.

 

[kelric]

No--I used to crush easily when I was younger, but don't anymore. Definitely don't fall in love easily. If it's the absolute right person and I feel totally safe, I think I could, though.

As usual, Tallulah speaks my thoughts better than I could...

What is interesting about their outlook on love and relationships is that while they see it as a very rare occurrence, love is always something to strive for. It is something they search for. They don't like being in relationships (I know of two who don't even care to engage in casual sex) unless they are in love.

It's interesting to hear you say that -- especially the bold. Frankly, it never occurred to me before reading this that anyone else would feel *otherwise*. I definitely see a difference between love and a relationship -- but either without the other isn't an option (unrequited love/crushes aren't the same thing).

Not an INTP but have 3 ex's who were, of which one became an ex in the past week.

To easily explain it, their internal dialogue goes something like this:

• Wow, I'm infatuated, crazy, can't get enough of her!! *bounce, bounce, head in the clouds*
• She loves me back!! *bounce, bounce, head in the clouds*
• But why does she love me? How can she love me with a, b, c, d, e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l, m, n, o, p, q, r, s, t, u, v, w, x, y, z faults and reason why not? If she sees a, b, c, d, she won't love me anymore, so I'd better hide them. And e, f, g, h, i, j, k, l will really turn her off, so I'd better hide them. M, n, o, p, q, r, s, t, u, v, w better be hidden too. And y, z are little things, so I can let her see these.
• God, I'm so stressed and overwhelmed hiding a - w. She doesn't really love me because she doesn't know me. Once I show her everything, she won't love me anymore, so how can she love me now?
• I don't love her. How can I love someone who only loves someone who she doesn't know? This relationship can't work. I need some space. *withdraws*
• Wash, rinse, repeat a few times.
• She broke up with me. I knew she didn't love me. What went wrong? What did I do?

Heh -- there's some truth there too -- although for me the alphabet soup tends to come directly after step 1, so the others never come to fruition.

So no, I don't fall in love easily, or often. But I've hope that I could.

 

[Tallulah]

It's interesting to hear you say that -- especially the bold. Frankly, it never occurred to me before reading this that anyone else would feel *otherwise*. I definitely see a difference between love and a relationship -- but either without the other isn't an option (unrequited love/crushes aren't the same thing).

Me, too. It's so weird to me that people have relationships with people they aren't sure they could/do love. I have to have fairly strong feelings for you at least, with the possibility of falling hard, in the beginning, or it will just feel like going through the motions. After a certain point, I'd be like, "so, what are we doing, exactly?"