User Tag List

12 Last

Results 1 to 10 of 12

  1. #1
    Banned
    Join Date
    May 2010
    MBTI
    :)
    Enneagram
    10
    Socionics
    HOT
    Posts
    45

    Default Problems with an ENTP friend

    So I have this really good friend of mine who I'm about 90% sure is an ENTP, she's actually the person who introduced me to MBTI in the first place. We've always been good friends and she's always the one who cheers me up when I'm feeling under the weather. Lately though she seems so aloof, so distant and this is somebody who is usually very engaged I mean she's always had her small moments where she makes you feel like she's in her own little world (especially when she's thinking of her newest scheme) but overall she's always the person with a smile on her face making sure that everyone is laughing even if it is at her stupid antics. Now though...she's always so quiet and thinking and although I've seen her smiling and laughing its just not the same. I feel like maybe there is something going on but she won't tell me.

    I keep asking her or even dropping subtle hints that I'm always available to listen but just the other day she told me that i was a huge busybody and that just because she's not "entertainment on demand" (her words not mine) does not mean that I should assume something is wrong. Gah! But I *know* something is up, something just doesn't feel right.

    Help?

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    MBTI
    intP
    Posts
    231

    Default

    Introduce her to Myrow. He'll give her the challenge she needs.

    But seriously, she said nothing is wrong that she wants to discuss with you and you've made it clear you're there for her if she does want to talk. There's not much else for you to do.

  3. #3
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    4,909

    Default

    There's nothing you can really do, except not pester her to open up. That will push her away more - she will take it as "nagging" which is not very well-received by ENTPs, in general.

    When it comes to personal problems, I actually do not like sharing it with anyone, unless I have a handle on it, on my own, in my own head. And, I don't appreciate anyone forcing my hand, before I'm ready. Even if that means, I seemingly seem to be "suffering" alone. It's how I process it.

    As for the "entertainment on demand" - oh yeah! I completely understand that; and some ENTPs actually discussed their take on this phenomenon. It might put it into perspective.

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...41-post58.html
    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...65-post64.html

    It's not always about them being depressed or some other issue going on with them. It may very well be that for that moment, they just don't feel like being "ON". Please respect that aspect of her.

  4. #4
    ✿ڿڰۣஇღ♥ wut ♥ღஇڿڰۣ✿ digesthisickness's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    3,262

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Qre:us View Post
    There's nothing you can really do, except not pester her to open up. That will push her away more - she will take it as "nagging" which is not very well-received by ENTPs, in general.

    When it comes to personal problems, I actually do not like sharing it with anyone, unless I have a handle on it, on my own, in my own head. And, I don't appreciate anyone forcing my hand, before I'm ready. Even if that means, I seemingly seem to be "suffering" alone. It's how I process it.

    As for the "entertainment on demand" - oh yeah! I completely understand that; and some ENTPs actually discussed their take on this phenomenon. It might put it into perspective.

    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...41-post58.html
    http://www.typologycentral.com/forum...65-post64.html

    It's not always about them being depressed or some other issue going on with them. It may very well be that for that moment, they just don't feel like being "ON". Please respect that aspect of her.
    very well said.

    i get like that from time to time. after a while, it does get tiresome as hell to always be expected to be the one that's in a good mood, that has something upbeat to say, that is supposed to make others feel better, etc. of course those things come naturally, so most of the time, it doesn't bother us, but we're not shallow people. we introspect and need time to just wallow in our own thoughts.

    it may look like we have a problem, but that's not always the case. we just need our space to think. on our own, thinking. if you see us seeming to space out and not paying any attention then that's a good sign that we're in the midst of one of those times. we need it. we like it. it's necessary.

    and, the worst, WORST thing you can do is to tell us you know something is wrong when we've said there isn't. to tell us what we're thinking or feeling is one of the biggest mistakes people make.
    ✻ღϠ₡ღ✻
    (¯`✻´¯)
    `*.¸.*'ღϠ₡ღஇڿڰۣ
    •.¸¸. Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒჱܓ. இڿڰۣ.¸¸.இڿڰۣ´¯`·.─♥


    Cerebral Artery
    http://www.facebook.com/CerebralArtery

  5. #5
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    Posts
    4,909

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by digesthisickness View Post
    to tell us what we're thinking or feeling is one of the biggest mistakes people make.

    YES!!!

    If I didn't stress it enough,

    YES!!

  6. #6
    Senior Member Shimmy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    SEXY
    Posts
    1,868

    Default

    Repeat these exact same words to her:

    "To me it feels like something is up with you, but I don't really care if you don't want to tell me. Let's go do something fun now!"

    Obviously you have to say these words like you mean them.
    (removed)

  7. #7
    shadow boxer strawberries's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    ----
    Posts
    950

    Default

    ^^ good advice from the entp femmes.

    she'll speak to you about it if she wants to.

    i don't seek counsel from other people on emotional stuff often - only if i trust them and they're super smart and not preachy. i tend to analyse my problems inside my own head.

    be fun for her.

  8. #8
    Banned
    Join Date
    May 2010
    MBTI
    :)
    Enneagram
    10
    Socionics
    HOT
    Posts
    45

    Default

    I did stop asking her but I mean I still feel so uneasy around her. She's starting to screw things up at work as well because I know she was one of the best sales reps in her company and was on her way to being promoted but now she comes to work late, leaves early and while because she is normally so easy going and fun to be around her her bosses are cutting her some slack I know they will be eventually annoyed and have a talk with her.

    I can even see that something is troubling her in her eyes, she often gets quiet and just stares and looks so sad. GAH! I just wish I knew if there was anything I could do to help but if I so even as hint that I want to talk to her about serious matters she shuts down and acts so cold towards me. Is this a typical ENTP trait? Do they just shut down whenever there is something that bothers them?

    She's also been a lot more sarcastic and snarky, before her wit was good natured and even when she was sarcastic you could laugh along with her even if you were the one being made fun of. But now she's cold and extremely blunt with her sarcasm almost to the point of being cruel. My INFP twin can't stand her she just won't be in the same room as her anymore because my ENTP friend would just point out that she needs to get a job or go back to school or something of that sort in a completely blunt way designed so that everyone around them (she always does this in public) will hear. At first I was almost happy, (finally somebody who says what I'm always thinking!) but now it's even beginning to annoy me...if I have to choose between my sister and my friend I guess I choose my sister especially since my ENTP friend is systematically pushing everyone away.

  9. #9
    Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INTJ
    Enneagram
    5w6
    Socionics
    INTj
    Posts
    63

    Default

    My suggestion is that you should just make sure that she knows you are her friend and will be there for her if she needs you and then just leave it the way it is.
    "It is empty and meaningless that it is empty and meaningless".

  10. #10
    ¡MI TORTA! Amethyst's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    MBTI
    ESTP
    Enneagram
    7w8 so/sx
    Socionics
    SLE Ti
    Posts
    2,182

    Default

    If they want to talk to you about it, they'll come to you.
    If not, let them be.

Similar Threads

  1. [ENFJ] having problems with an ENFJ
    By ladypinkington in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: 07-30-2016, 06:47 PM
  2. [MBTItm] Long, weird on/off interaction with an ENTP and an INFJ: Help?
    By StarsPer in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 03-01-2011, 10:37 PM
  3. [ISFJ] Advice for an ISFJ having problems with an INFP/J?
    By danniebloo in forum The SJ Guardhouse (ESFJ, ISFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ)
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 02-22-2010, 07:58 PM
  4. [ENTP] help with an ENTP!
    By handsopen in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 09-08-2008, 07:21 AM
  5. [ENTP] A few problems being an ENTP has caused
    By YoungGun2112 in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 05-01-2008, 07:17 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO