User Tag List

First 1234 Last

Results 21 to 30 of 36

  1. #21
    Giggity Vie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    8
    Posts
    792

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MoneyTick View Post
    .


    THIS IS THE #1 REASON THAT 99% OF ALL OF MY PRIOR RELATIONSHIPS ENDED OVER !!

    I don't know why, but sometimes I feel as if I'm being ignored. Momentary cease of communication may be part of a healthy relationship, or it could signal something else is going on!

    I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DISCERN! That's my problem.

    The word "ignored" is the label attached to all prior affairs. I try to find out why I feel this way - but I never get a straight answer. Then I just call it quits.



    Well, fellow ENTJs when it comes to affairs I suppose our lack of discernment and cold unforgiving endings may very well be our "tragic flaw"

    ME TOO. I feel as though I'm being ignored, even when I rationally know I'm not. My SO could be at work or hanging with other people, but if they don't answer I begin to feel as though I'm being ignored. I react in a pissed off way and they are left being confused as to why I'm mad.

    If they just said in an honest way, Hey I'm busy for a bit we can talk later -- I would have NO PROBLEM what so ever. I just hate that people can be really passive aggressive about things, so I expect that everyone is passive aggressive -- thereby not having the balls to stop "ignoring" me.
    If that makes sense.
    Then I begin to try harder for a bit to get their attention, making it seem like I'm clingy. Then when they continue to evade, I cut them out of my life.

    Sometimes, (hell, most of the time) people are left wondering why I'm no longer speaking to them.

    Bahaha.

  2. #22
    Senior Member MoneyTick's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Posts
    252

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by vieamemusique View Post
    ME TOO. I feel as though I'm being ignored, even when I rationally know I'm not. My SO could be at work or hanging with other people, but if they don't answer I begin to feel as though I'm being ignored. I react in a pissed off way and they are left being confused as to why I'm mad.

    If they just said in an honest way, Hey I'm busy for a bit we can talk later -- I would have NO PROBLEM what so ever. I just hate that people can be really passive aggressive about things, so I expect that everyone is passive aggressive -- thereby not having the balls to stop "ignoring" me.
    If that makes sense.
    Then I begin to try harder for a bit to get their attention, making it seem like I'm clingy. Then when they continue to evade, I cut them out of my life.

    Sometimes, (hell, most of the time) people are left wondering why I'm no longer speaking to them.

    Bahaha.
    Hahahha Evil and naughty ENTJs, aren't we?

    It kind of feels great cutting someone loose and not giving one speck of a damm, but yet:

    After turning so many heads and breaking so many hearts - I have all of these feelings building up inside of me like a reservoir that I am sort of "saving up" for someone special that I really haven't met yet.

    Its like nobody has ever experienced 100% of my love, because I have a gut feeling somewhere down the line I'm going to meet someone worthy of getting all of it.

    I really am not satisfied at all with short-term affairs, I'd feel complete being married and staying committed to someone.

    And as soon as I feel someone is ignoring me - I get the impression that that person is not all for me, but just looking for some temporary affection.

    So I retract, and cut the relationship loose.

    I think that's the underlying or subconscious reason for why ENTJs are so cold and can walk away so easy.

    Because we only give away "free samples" - bits and pieces of our affection to "test" and see if that person is truly the one.

    If not, we don't loose anything and retract.

    If so, then I could see myself unleashing a huge waterfall of love.

    But maybe its because we're just naturally emotionally strong and stable, idk.

  3. #23
    Senior Member Blown Ghost's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2010
    MBTI
    ESFP
    Posts
    280

    Default

    I used to burn a lot of bridges. In my experience, though, I've realized that most people need to be trained how to behave towards you. I've learned to be at peace with others' mistakes, even if it means our relationship might change drastically because of the choices they make.

  4. #24
    figsfiggyfigs
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by vieamemusique View Post
    Mhm. I find that those who walk away from me whether romantically or in friendship...well, it bothers me. I can't walk away from them. Which is odd considering in every other aspect of life, I am a cold hearted bitch.
    YES! agreed. I CAN'T just walk out and leave someone; unless I feel they have betrayed my trust or have hurt me. once I feel such has occurred. I decided whether I would like to keep them as an acquaintance( i running into each other in a public function, thus ceasing any bitter feelings) or just cut them out entirely. Either way, it's simple and fast. it's extremely easy for me to detach myself from someone, no matter HOW long I have known them or how close. Sure, they'll probably be in my mind a few times in the first day or 2, but I'll quickly displace them with higher priorities.



    Quote Originally Posted by Salt n' pepper View Post
    Hoho, I used to do that too. I had a best friend in middle school, and at a point I realized all we ever talked about was boys! So I said: "I can't see you anymore, Karen. All we talk about is boys. I think we should take a break." Haven't talked to her since. Don't even get me started about getting back at people. I was a terrible kid. Even if they didn't do stuff on purpose, I felt like the damage was done and I had to punish them. I hope I've grown since then.

    For me, there's no difference between walking away from a romantic relationships or deep friendships. I've done both. The total amount of pain is the same. The way I deal with loss is to cut people out of my mind, my life. The more they meant to me, the harder I have to slam that door.

    I'll be in shock for a few days, depending on how deep our relationship was. Then I'll start to block them out of my mind, very successfully. And I never look back. I don't dwell and I don't remissness about the "good times". I just keep pushing forward. Any other direction is uncomfortable. It can be hard sometimes, but I don't really care.

    I think that might be the reason why I find saying goodbye sad. I can get quite chocked up about it. Because when I say goodbye to you, I mean it. You cease to exist. At least in my reality.

    DING DING DING. accurate to the nth degree


    Quote Originally Posted by MoneyTick View Post
    Vievamemuisque, I gotta say were similar. Especially the last word

    My social life is this: go out to a party; bar, get together etc... Meet at least 20-40 people and have a 20 minute conversation with each - have a blast And THATS IT

    no really close friends, just a zillion aquaintances Which can of course lead to being alone despite my uniqe ability to make friends so fast.


    I guess it applies to relationships as well. It starts out great, then gets better then goes downhill

    Still it may be lonely at the top, but the view is phenomenal
    I noticed this about myself when I was in high school... Once I saw the cracks, I filled them up with real friends :P. I decreased the amount of time I spend with everyone, and started spending more time with people I genuinely liked, slowly building real friendships along the way.

    and @ the relationship part. SO true. starts off great, gets better, then DOWNHILL we go!!! : P
    Last edited by figsfiggyfigs; 08-19-2010 at 08:53 AM.

  5. #25
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Posts
    104

    Default

    lol...the cold shoulder. Something has changed within me lately, I no longer
    care about rejection because I know a comfortable amount of people who a-
    gree that intellect and imagination are something that can bring people closer
    together instead of tearing them apart the way that a society over-ran by
    cliques and trying to be just like everybody else does.

    ENTJ

  6. #26
    Senior Member Survive & Stay Free's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    MBTI
    ESTJ
    Enneagram
    9 so/sx
    Posts
    21,661

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Metaphor View Post
    Most ENTJs who have strong Te can shut down relationships and move on, once they've ascertained that there's no hope. This doesn't mean they don't experience pain and hurt.
    Very true.

    To the OP, I think a lot of the time forgiving and forgetting are mentioned in the same breath because in order to properly forget people in some sense have to forgive, at least they have to move to a point where they do not care enough to recollect, I mean really do not care, not simply saying it and leaving whatever it was which begs forgiveness lodged in the unconscious someplace.

    I can do the whole shut down on people, I've only encountered one person with whom I've serious difficulties doing that, in that relationship the roles are kind of reversed and she has no problem shutting down on me. Its like karmic or poetic justice maybe.

  7. #27
    Senior Member MoneyTick's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2010
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Posts
    252

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Lark View Post
    Very true.

    To the OP, I think a lot of the time forgiving and forgetting are mentioned in the same breath because in order to properly forget people in some sense have to forgive, at least they have to move to a point where they do not care enough to recollect, I mean really do not care, not simply saying it and leaving whatever it was which begs forgiveness lodged in the unconscious someplace.

    I can do the whole shut down on people, I've only encountered one person with whom I've serious difficulties doing that, in that relationship the roles are kind of reversed and she has no problem shutting down on me. Its like karmic or poetic justice maybe.
    No, I go with a 100% shut down.

    The times in life where I've worked the hardest, felt the most motivation to pursue happiness and prosperity, and experienced the climaxes of success .... Were, ironically, in the wake of broken relationships.

    Its kind of this knack I have to prove to my ex-partner that she just let go of something precious. A sketchy but smart way of getting revenge -

    I never really feel depressed - my mind automatically converts it into motivation and willpower to purse greater things in life. Things I would eventually gain, and things that my ex-partner will see and want.

    Then they always come back, they always want to apologize because they've always wanted to travel the world, life a relaxing life, go on lavish shopping sprees, and above all have a committed and respectful man of which I am.

    I have a great job, and I am a happy dude living the life I've always dreamed of.

    It goes back to my roots - when I was in college, laughing at those party animals while I was running two businesses. I had people working for me since I was 19. The others were working for PlayStation and beer, under the payroll of drug-dealing.

    I must admit, If it weren't for broken relationships and other failures - I would have never traveled the alleyway of success.

    Sucks for those girls who pursued the one's that could best drown a glass of vodka at the wildest baddass party.

    They always come back, and I respond with my epic mantra:

    "You never know what you've had, until you've lost it"

    Haha sophisticated revenge ENTJ style.

  8. #28

    Default

    This is interesting. I've known many ENTJ's and I've seen the cold shoulder thing a bunch. I asked once, cause it's so opposite of my nature. It's like watching a contortionist at a circus. You get that same feeling where you kind of turn your head in the direction they're bending and you wonder how that's possible... It almost hurts to watch. Of course, I'm a feeler and I'm empathetic on the most ridiculous level imaginable. I've also seen how difficult that decision is to make when they care.

    In some ways, I admire it. I wish I could "tune out" like that. Lord knows, I get tired of the emotional noise I hear. Other times, I find myself watching the meanest people I've ever seen in my life doing some of the most ridiculous things I've ever seen with a straight face. And logically... if you listen, it makes sense.

    The unfortunate thing is... people are messy. They don't fit into little holes with pegs and as much as I wish you could use absolutes, formulas or set rules on people... Well, you can... But, it may not work the way you want it to. I'm really good with people. Sometimes, I hate it. People just keep coming to me and telling me their life story. And I can't stop being nice to them. It's really annoying when I'm tired, or reading, or in the middle of writing a story. It was an ENTJ who helped me learn to set limits for myself.

    Personally, I keep as many ENTJ's around me as I can. Because they make nice walls. As long as they channel that mess...away from me and not at me... I'm all for some meanies.

    I married one. God bless my soul.

    *Note to anyone who doesn't understand. Get under their armor. It's paradise and they're worth every moment.
    "We ascribe beauty to that which is simple; which has no superfluous parts; which exactly answers its end; which stands related to all things; which is the mean of many extremes." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

  9. #29
    Aquaria mrcockburn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    MBTI
    ¥¤
    Enneagram
    3w4 sp/so
    Posts
    1,907

    Default

    Yes, if I ended the relationship due to a breach of loyalty (cheating) or a display of possessiveness. One such instance results in automatic "termination", and I try to completely vaporize them from my existence. Delete numbers, facebook, etc. Funny thing is, I don't really do it out of anger or hatred. It's more like "standard procedure".

    (Then again, I only had to remove one person for cheating and one for the possessiveness issue.)

    However, the possessive guy WAS an ENTJ himself, and he had serious issues with letting me go when I let him go. Ignoring my break-up emails, continuing to call, harassing my friends to locate me, getting all emotional. It was a nightmare.

    However, if the relationship ended just because we didn't have that "chemistry" anymore or for circumstantial/non-offensive reasons, then we still stay in touch as friends.
    3w4-9w1-?w6 (nearly headless nick)
    sp/so
    Lawful Evil

    COCKBURN:

    http://sundrytimes.files.wordpress.c...tomic-bomb.jpg


  10. #30
    Giggity Vie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    MBTI
    ENTJ
    Enneagram
    8
    Posts
    792

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mrcockburn View Post
    Yes, if I ended the relationship due to a breach of loyalty (cheating) or a display of possessiveness. One such instance results in automatic "termination", and I try to completely vaporize them from my existence. Delete numbers, facebook, etc. Funny thing is, I don't really do it out of anger or hatred. It's more like "standard procedure".

    (Then again, I only had to remove one person for cheating and one for the possessiveness issue.)

    However, the possessive guy WAS an ENTJ himself, and he had serious issues with letting me go when I let him go. Ignoring my break-up emails, continuing to call, harassing my friends to locate me, getting all emotional. It was a nightmare.

    However, if the relationship ended just because we didn't have that "chemistry" anymore or for circumstantial/non-offensive reasons, then we still stay in touch as friends.
    Standard procedure is an excellent way of putting it. For example, in the past week I've had a friend seriously mess up countless times. Over and over, and although I'm not one for many chances, I kept giving them because I cared.
    But I woke up yesterday morning, and I said to myself...what in the hell? It never takes me this long to cut the cord. So I've cut that person out and they will stay out.

    I give a second chance, sometimes a third one, but if you keep burning me, I'm going to set you on fire and walk away.

Similar Threads

  1. How easy is it for you to see your dominant function?
    By wolfy in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 76
    Last Post: 11-24-2015, 04:06 PM
  2. [ENTP] ENTP's: How easy is it for you to express your emotions?
    By The Great One in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 23
    Last Post: 05-15-2012, 02:29 PM
  3. how easy is it to change Type?
    By niki in forum Myers-Briggs and Jungian Cognitive Functions
    Replies: 40
    Last Post: 12-12-2009, 02:22 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO