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[ENTJ] Female ENTJ

Green Machine

New member
Joined
Aug 10, 2010
Messages
14
MBTI Type
INTJ
Hi,

I have a question. Based on type descriptions et cetera I strongly suspect that my current gf is ENTJ. However, sometimes she has these quirks that come across as F, or, rather, NF characteristics, especially when she has to blend in with a new group of people. Is it common for female Ts in general to develop a certain Fness, and could this be because F is somehow considered more 'appropriate' for women? This question has probably been asked a dozen times before, so sorry about that, but I was just wondering how everyone here feels (or thinks hehe) about it.
 

Green Machine

New member
Joined
Aug 10, 2010
Messages
14
MBTI Type
INTJ
Hm, kinda hard to come up with good examples. In general, when she's in a new workplace or has to deal with a new group of people, she always initially presents herself as a person with a very strong sense of empathy. People trust her immediately because she can be very friendly, open, warm and charming when they first meet her. She basically acts like a caring mother-figure. The thing is, though, once you get to know her personally or deal with her for a long period of time, it becomes increasingly obvious that her prime concern in dealing with other people is bossing them around in order for her ideas to become reality. She, frankly, doesn't give a rat's ass about the life stories of people she has just met. This difference between behaviour and inner thought, if you know what I mean, can in fact be cause for considerable stress for her. People basically get the wrong impression. I know all this is rather vague, but I hope it helps..
 
R

ReflecTcelfeR

Guest
Hmmm... seems like she has developed a nice Fe (that is if she can win people over because of it). That or she is mistyped and is an ENTP.
 

JocktheMotie

Habitual Fi LineStepper
Joined
Nov 20, 2008
Messages
8,491
ETJ women frequently get mistyped as EF because of how personable and sociable they are. As extraverts they tend to be naturally engaged by others, and they're very good at adapting their behavior to "how they need to be" as dictated by the needs of the environment around them. The ESTJ girl I know is remarkably friendly, engaging, etc, but once the conditions take on a more business like or goal oriented vibe, her Te dominance is clear.

One of the reasons I think think ETJs in general get a bad rap, people think their management/office styles carry over into the social realm and it isn't really the case.
 

Green Machine

New member
Joined
Aug 10, 2010
Messages
14
MBTI Type
INTJ
Well, she is, by nature, bossy, punctual, perfectionistic, a neat-freak, etc. So I'm pretty sure she's a J.
 

Rebe

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Nov 15, 2009
Messages
1,431
MBTI Type
INFP
Enneagram
4sop
That sounds totally like my boss! At first impression, I thought he was really considerate, warm, caring etc. But he's full of bullshit. He's all Te and I know it! His abundance of Fe annoys my Fi, but he is very efficient at it and I am impressed and have learned from him. It's total bullshit though. He doesn't really care. Nope. He cares about his business, not the people. Not to say that he's not a good person, just not warm and fuzzy like he wants his business people to believe.
 

Green Machine

New member
Joined
Aug 10, 2010
Messages
14
MBTI Type
INTJ
ETJ women frequently get mistyped as EF because of how personable and sociable they are. As extraverts they tend to be naturally engaged by others, and they're very good at adapting their behavior to "how they need to be" as dictated by the needs of the environment around them. The ESTJ girl I know is remarkably friendly, engaging, etc, but once the conditions take on a more business like or goal oriented vibe, her Te dominance is clear.

One of the reasons I think think ETJs in general get a bad rap, people think their management/office styles carry over into the social realm and it isn't really the case.

I guess that's pretty much spot on in my gf's case. I also happen to know a girl who tested ESTJ when she went to work for a law firm, and she has that same sort of 'problem'. She also said that 60% of the people at her firm tested ESTJ, with ENTJ and ISTJ as the runners-up. Funny to see how MBTI works in real life :).
 
Joined
Apr 23, 2009
Messages
1,992
MBTI Type
ENTJ
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8w9
Hmmm... seems like she has developed a nice Fe (that is if she can win people over because of it). That or she is mistyped and is an ENTP.

I don't know. If it's not genuine, it doesn't sound like she's developed better Fe. Sounds more like she's understood the name of the game, and plays it well in order to win people over to realize her projects.

I can be very friendly and warm towards people I perceive as "not harmful". But I wouldn't fake interest or empathy in order to get people to like me or get them on board on some project. That sounds like a waste of time and energy. And I hate phoniness.

I generally DO find peoples ideas interesting and they genuinely excite me. Kissing peoples asses feels very unnatural to me. If I want something done, I'll ask straight up or I'll try to engage them in the process and get them excited about the project.

In work settings, I don't really deal with people on a personal basis until I know them. And I'm generally more reserved in social settings that aren't business related. Because I don't bother relating to most people unless I want to.

Maybe she's ESTJ.
acts like a caring mother-figure
sounds like some ESTJ's in my life.
 

rav3n

.
Joined
Aug 6, 2010
Messages
11,655
Are you sure she's an ENTJ? We tend to stand out, rather than blending in.

Has she ever taken the MBTI?
 
R

ReflecTcelfeR

Guest
I don't know. If it's not genuine, it doesn't sound like she's developed better Fe. Sounds more like she's understood the name of the game, and plays it well in order to win people over to realize her projects.

I can be very friendly and warm towards people I perceive as "not harmful". But I wouldn't fake interest or empathy in order to get people to like me or get them on board on some project. That sounds like a waste of time and energy. And I hate phoniness.

I generally DO find peoples ideas interesting and they genuinely excite me. Kissing peoples asses feels very unnatural to me. If I want something done, I'll ask straight up or I'll try to engage them in the process and get them excited about the project.

In work settings, I don't really deal with people on a personal basis until I know them. And I'm generally more reserved in social settings that aren't business related. Because I don't bother relating to most people unless I want to.

Maybe she's ESTJ. sounds like some ESTJ's in my life.

That too. :D
 

entropie

Permabanned
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Apr 24, 2008
Messages
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MBTI Type
entp
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I dont know, to me all ENTJs come off as a little female :D

Ah no wait this thread isnt about picking on them right ?
 

freeeekyyy

Cheeseburgers
Joined
Feb 13, 2010
Messages
1,384
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
5w4
Instinctual Variant
sx/sp
You sure she's not an ENFJ? Fe has many of the same organizational strengths as Te. It sounds like she uses Fe, and Fe as far as I know, is not exactly a function that ENTJs are skilled with.
 

uumlau

Happy Dancer
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Feb 9, 2010
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5,517
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INTJ
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953
Instinctual Variant
sp/so
It's easy to get confused by T women acting more "feminine and caring." It's the social expectation. T types don't stop shaking hands or saying hello or generally being polite because they "lack Fe" or anything like that.

MBTI types aren't about how people act on the outside (though correlations can be made), they're about how people think on the inside!

As you learn what she "really thinks" about situations and people, you'll get a much more clear picture of her type. If her chief complaint is people being stupid and/or unreasonable and/or illogical, that's a T type. If her chief complaint is people not being nice or being unpleasant or not being good, that's an F type.

TJ women can even be ultra-feminine at times, understanding that "this is how one needs to act in order to be taken seriously," and as TJs, they very much value being taken seriously. Others, of course, can be not so obviously feminine, for varying reasons. My main point is that it is "a feminine ENTJ" is not an oxymoron in the slightest.
 

rav3n

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Messages
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We Ts aren't robots, same as Fs aren't bowls of goos. But the "warm, motherly figure" and "blending in" descriptions don't sound right for ENTJs. We can be socially adept if we're in the mood to do so and if we're in a social situation we want to be in, but it's rare that we "blend in" as it relates to being part of the nameless and faceless crowd. Maybe you intended to use "fitting in" instead of "blending in"? We're usually pretty noticeable.

As for the warmth component, that also throws me off. We can be friendly and open but warm, motherly figure sounds off.
 

sculpting

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Jan 28, 2009
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The ESTJ women I have known tend to act somewhat feminine, oddly. I read this is a type at work book as well. They feel very torn between social expectations for females due to the STJ, but also feel the need to be highly controlling and structured. Thus the do control things, but have very interesting fake Fe mannerisms, and dress in a feminine way. As they age they grow in Ne, so I enjoy working with older ESTJ women. But they totally play the social games and will be highly political. When good, they feel like cougars...

I worked with one ENTJ women. You would never mistake her for anything else. She dressed elegantly but in a very restrained way and totally disregarded feminine mannerisms. She did not use the fake Fe at all. She was very intense, driven and superb at what she did. She was VERY intimidating, but not in the annoying controlling way the ESTJs could be, as if she showed up your doorstep, she was correct. Her office had very little in it...but this picture of her two dogs in this very sparse wood frame...they were puffball pomperanians....


But maybe rethink ENFJ as well?
 

Green Machine

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Joined
Aug 10, 2010
Messages
14
MBTI Type
INTJ
Hi,

I sent her the 72-question Human Metrics test over the mail, just to get an impression. These are the results:

Your Type is
ENTJ
Extraverted Intuitive Thinking Judging
67 50 12 67

Funny to see she scores low on T hehe.
 

Vie

Giggity
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Jun 9, 2010
Messages
792
MBTI Type
ENTJ
Enneagram
8
I know one other ENTJ female irl who is nearly identical in thinking as me. We both grew up tom-boys, but have slowly started to branch out in a feministic way. It's not that we don't want to -- it's more that we don't really know how. Being a "girly" girl does not come natural to me and I find it really difficult to act as such around other groups of all women. It's not that I don't get along with them (I almost always do), it's more that I don't know how to relate to what they are saying.

If your girlfriend is like you say, than I would peg her for an ENTJ.
 

Green Machine

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Joined
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INTJ
We Ts aren't robots, same as Fs aren't bowls of goos. But the "warm, motherly figure" and "blending in" descriptions don't sound right for ENTJs. We can be socially adept if we're in the mood to do so and if we're in a social situation we want to be in, but it's rare that we "blend in" as it relates to being part of the nameless and faceless crowd. Maybe you intended to use "fitting in" instead of "blending in"? We're usually pretty noticeable.

As for the warmth component, that also throws me off. We can be friendly and open but warm, motherly figure sounds off.

Fitting in, perhaps, is a better way of putting it. I mean, she always stands out, for several reasons, including her BIG MOUTH hehe. But it's the warmth thing that confuses me, and even her - like I said before, people often respond to her in a way that she's uncomfortable with, and it often simply stresses her out. Because when it comes down to business and actually doing stuff, she doesn't care about whose cat died, although people often think she does.
 

rav3n

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Messages
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Fitting in, perhaps, is a better way of putting it. I mean, she always stands out, for several reasons, including her BIG MOUTH hehe. But it's the warmth thing that confuses me, and even her - like I said before, people often respond to her in a way that she's uncomfortable with, and it often simply stresses her out. Because when it comes down to business and actually doing stuff, she doesn't care about whose cat died, although people often think she does.
From what I can see from her scores off the humanmetrics site, she and I are very different people. With her relatively high extroversion and borderline T, this might account for her leaning towards wanting social acceptance.

One thing that might be similar, is that some people gravitate towards others who can help them make decisions. If she's typical ENTJ who has a definitive style of "I am" but appears more warm than someone with higher T, she may find that people emotionally unload on her, similar to what some Fs might be experiencing.
 
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