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  1. #1
    Senior Member think2much's Avatar
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    Default Does anyone feel this way? how do you cope with it?

    Feels like going nowhere. No one to talk to, not happy with where you are. Can't really solve this problem so it's frustrating. Just feeling down and no one can understand you. Not happy with life.


    I usually come to this forum to rant. I know this isn't my blog but I feel like some may understand what I'm going through.

    I just been feeling like this more often now and I'm having hard time dealing with it. The frustration also goes deeper and deeper every time. It's getting worst as time goes by.

    I know that no one can help me but myself and I need to change if I don't want to feel this way. changing how I think is almost impossible for me.
    I'm just lost with my life right now.

  2. #2
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Default

    Feels like going nowhere. No one to talk to, not happy with where you are. Can't really solve this problem so it's frustrating. Just feeling down and no one can understand you. Not happy with life.


    I usually come to this forum to rant. I know this isn't my blog but I feel like some may understand what I'm going through.

    I just been feeling like this more often now and I'm having hard time dealing with it. The frustration also goes deeper and deeper every time. It's getting worst as time goes by.

    I know that no one can help me but myself and I need to change if I don't want to feel this way. changing how I think is almost impossible for me. I'm just lost with my life right now.
    It sounds typical for INTPs. I went through it, and my 15-year-old INTP is going through it now too. There's just a lot of wandering that happens when one enters adulthood, lots of uncertainty about where to go next.

    I think what happens is that a lot of life contentment is actually built on other things besides the Ti+Ne combo we come to rely on in life. Those things can tell us how the world works and help us evaluate truth, but it does not teach us how to live nor what makes us personally feel fulfilled. Meanwhile, social confidence and skills tend to be at a minimum, which puts up another wall and leaves one feeling even more isolated.

    INTPs do better once out of high school, for one, and entering areas of higher learning. Not just because of the ability to explore more knowledge, but because we find more people who "get us" in those environments and socially things become a bit easier. Otherwise, we are the ones who have to let ourselves change to a degree, in order to make better friends in the environment we are in.

    Also, INTP flexes... especially in areas outside of the "knowledge" category. you probably can't budge on what you think is true, but you probably flex to situations and other people's opinions a lot in terms of how you behave day to day where you do not have any opinion. This can become depressing; I know I ended up feeling like a pawn.

    For me, I did not have an easy road. I tried to find things I loved -- pet fields of interest, activities involving nature (hiking, exploring, etc.). Collect what friends who "really got me" along the way and invest in those friendships by initiating conversation on a regularly basis. Finding people to do things with.

    But it took me a lot of times of being unhappy with my life before I finally figured out what I wanted and needed. INTP needs to have a goal or an obsession, it seems, in order to be motivated. There has to be a purpose. There is no impetus to do things that make no sense, so we just drift. When I was miserable, I realized what I was doing then wasn't working. So then I tried other things. I don't think INTP has a good sense of self-desires in a vacuum; we need to put ourselves in new situations and experience new things, then either mark it as a big "a-ha!" or else cross it off our list as not what we want.

    Ride it out, don't give up, try lots of things. Something will stick with you. Also be willing to feel, rather than think; if you need to, explore your feelings using your mind, but meanwhile let yourself feel your feelings. Feelings drive desire; you lack desire right now; we tend to discount feelings if we're in "thinking" mode, but we're human and need our feelings in order to "feel" content.
    Last edited by Bellflower; 08-09-2010 at 01:02 PM. Reason: Scrubbed stuff related to junk
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  3. #3
    likes this gromit's Avatar
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    refreshe123d, do you think you might have depression? When you look at your life, is there anything you can pinpoint that is 'wrong' or is it more of a general feeling of 'meh' toward everything you used to excel at or enjoy?
    Last edited by Bellflower; 08-09-2010 at 01:02 PM. Reason: Scrubbed stuff related to junk
    Your kisses, sweeter than honey. But guess what, so is my money.

  4. #4
    Senior Member think2much's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    It sounds typical for INTPs. I went through it, and my 15-year-old INTP is going through it now too. There's just a lot of wandering that happens when one enters adulthood, lots of uncertainty about where to go next.

    I think what happens is that a lot of life contentment is actually built on other things besides the Ti+Ne combo we come to rely on in life. Those things can tell us how the world works and help us evaluate truth, but it does not teach us how to live nor what makes us personally feel fulfilled. Meanwhile, social confidence and skills tend to be at a minimum, which puts up another wall and leaves one feeling even more isolated.

    INTPs do better once out of high school, for one, and entering areas of higher learning. Not just because of the ability to explore more knowledge, but because we find more people who "get us" in those environments and socially things become a bit easier. Otherwise, we are the ones who have to let ourselves change to a degree, in order to make better friends in the environment we are in.

    Also, INTP flexes... especially in areas outside of the "knowledge" category. you probably can't budge on what you think is true, but you probably flex to situations and other people's opinions a lot in terms of how you behave day to day where you do not have any opinion. This can become depressing; I know I ended up feeling like a pawn.

    For me, I did not have an easy road. I tried to find things I loved -- pet fields of interest, activities involving nature (hiking, exploring, etc.). Collect what friends who "really got me" along the way and invest in those friendships by initiating conversation on a regularly basis. Finding people to do things with.

    But it took me a lot of times of being unhappy with my life before I finally figured out what I wanted and needed. INTP needs to have a goal or an obsession, it seems, in order to be motivated. There has to be a purpose. There is no impetus to do things that make no sense, so we just drift. When I was miserable, I realized what I was doing then wasn't working. So then I tried other things. I don't think INTP has a good sense of self-desires in a vacuum; we need to put ourselves in new situations and experience new things, then either mark it as a big "a-ha!" or else cross it off our list as not what we want.

    Ride it out, don't give up, try lots of things. Something will stick with you. Also be willing to feel, rather than think; if you need to, explore your feelings using your mind, but meanwhile let yourself feel your feelings. Feelings drive desire; you lack desire right now; we tend to discount feelings if we're in "thinking" mode, but we're human and need our feelings in order to "feel" content.
    I'm assuming you guess my age due to horrible grammer but I'm a college dropout. For me high school was lot better than college. I never went out of my room during college. was more isolated than I could ever remember.

    You pretty much gave me a perfect solution find a goal or an obsession. This is what I need and now I'm going to focus on my life trying to figure out what that is.

    Thank you

  5. #5
    Junior Member TruthJourdemayne's Avatar
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    You are going to need to engage yourself in the world more. INTPs can get into this funk, because they go into strictly Ti-Ne mode, and stop nurturing other aspects of their being. Sitting inside all the time driving yourself crazy with your own obsessive thoughts is going to make you ill - mentally, and physically. This is why you need to focus on more than just your thoughts (find more than just a new project to appeal to you mentally), because as difficult as it is for INTPs to accept - we are more than our thoughts. I would suggest getting out and enjoying nature more, and getting some exercise. Find a nice park to read in.. take up jogging. When the least nurtured half of you starts to feel healthy again, you will see how much more positive your thoughts are, allowing you to focus again, mentally.
    "When the dust has cleared, and victory denied
    A summit too lofty, river a little too wide
    If we keep our pride, though paradise is lost
    We will pay the price, but we will not count the cost

    And if the music stops, there's only the sound of the rain
    All the hope and glory, all the sacrifice in vain
    And If love remains, though everything is lost
    We will pay the price, but we will not count the cost"

    - Rush

  6. #6
    Boring old fossil Night's Avatar
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    That's the difficult thing about emotion - it's never fundamentally right or wrong. It's subjective to the individual. That is to say, the person feeling the emotion will always feel justified in his expression.

    Try to deconstruct why you feel the way you do. Evaluate the external events that trigger your negative emotional reaction. Don't concentrate on the emotion itself - look to the motivation behind the insecurity to better determine what specifically you are struggling with.

    Best of luck. Emotional exploration often takes time. Be patient. Stay focused on your goal. Emotion is a powerful instrument. Requires precision and care to properly handle.

    Mature emotional expression can be one of the most rewarding experiences in life.

  7. #7

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    I start a new book, take a holiday, hang out with friends. I get this angsty stuff all the time. In my case I cant call it depression really and I've got a kind of built in stoicism which prevents me really despairing.

  8. #8
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    I actually face similar problems daily. I go to a school where no one understands me, and everyone ridicules me. My last job was even worse, I became so sick of people that I just blasted my mp3 player the whole time I was clocked in, and if anyone had to talk to me, like they needed a certain thing soon, they would literally have to shout it at me. It got to the point where the self doubt transformed me, and I would be in a state of constant fear. One of my co-workers noticed this, and took to a habit of jumping out at me and scaring the whites from my eyes on every occasion he got.
    At points like that I take a step back and just say, "I don't need this."
    The problem is you can't always do this. I quit my job, but I still have to return to school for my senior year. I personally think that family and close friends to talk to, are a good way for dealing with the aloneness of being an INT, or even for being human.
    If that doesn't work then I find that structure and routine are probably my favored method of dealing. Workouts in the morning, long walks in the evening, heavy reading and writing at all other times.

    Good luck, I hope you find what you need.

  9. #9
    Senior Member MoneyTick's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by refreshe123d View Post
    Feels like going nowhere. No one to talk to, not happy with where you are. Can't really solve this problem so it's frustrating. Just feeling down and no one can understand you. Not happy with life.


    I usually come to this forum to rant. I know this isn't my blog but I feel like some may understand what I'm going through.

    I just been feeling like this more often now and I'm having hard time dealing with it. The frustration also goes deeper and deeper every time. It's getting worst as time goes by.

    I know that no one can help me but myself and I need to change if I don't want to feel this way. changing how I think is almost impossible for me.
    I'm just lost with my life right now.
    Don't have feelings .... period. Get rid of them LOL

    Well, an exaggeration there but -

    The cause for your plight is the very isolation and "idleness"

    Look at you hands and feet - What are they there for, to sit still?

    Make something out of yourself, get moving and pursue greater things.

    Wealth, luxury, love, happiness - get on your feet and start walking.

    And about feeling "lost"

    DUHH .. you never visited the territory!

    Learn what it is that makes you happy. If you don't know - LEARN.

    Get on your feet, learn the roads and alleyways in that pursuit - and you'll get un-lost.

    Easier said than done, of course. But I've been there, and left. Here I am now, one hell of a happy dude!

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