Not organizing and not problem solving is hard for me. I am most comfortable in the idea development stage—the push for putting things together, new solutions, and improvements to take us to the next step. I have several dimensions I work in.
My focus has always been on finding what’s preventing us from doing what we need to do. If it’s lack of confidence or motivation, the solution is building that. If it’s lack of skills, it’s building skills. If it’s rules or other inhibitors, I work to eliminate those. I value people, but I am quick to judge their value to the system and quick to judge my personal desire to be involved with them. I stand off if they don’t meet my standards quickly, which can make me hard to know, and I think I am unwilling to get into other people’s motivations.
My response to making a mistake is, “Did you learn anything? If so, great, it was worth it, and don’t make the same mistake again.” This kind of critiquing is easy for me, and I admire—and like to have around me—people who have a real, genuine concern for others and who see the positives. But then there is a time when I sit back and say people have to get on board with the way I see things because it’s the right way to go. It took me a while to learn the value of cutting people some slack. Although I appear to dominate, when people get to know me, I really don’t. I let them do their own thing. With people I judge as friendly or want to get to know, I open up quickly, although I don’t actually go out and do things to make others like me.
I respect wisdom and kindness and competent, knowledgeable people who are willing to share with others. I won’t buy into anything just because the person who says it is the leader. It has to make sense to me—consistent and free of contradictions. If it’s a plan, I have to believe it’s doable. If it’s a philosophy, it must match mine from the outset. I think integrity means keeping one’s word and sticking to my espoused principles even when it’s easier not to. Honesty is important...
I am my own worst critic. I want perfect achievement of myself, and sometimes I have a fear of suddenly waking up and being known as someone who doesn’t really know anything.
I love to discover new approaches and really prefer creating and beginning things, organizing projects and programs, and then teaching someone else how to do them and handing them off. Although if someone has a better idea, then let’s go with it, and if the system’s values and mechanisms line up for me, whoever the leader is, then I guess I am probably one of the most loyal. Probably my goals are patience, wisdom, and discipline—wisdom to focus on the right priorities and correct decisions and patience to take the time to listen.