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Thread: Ask an ENTJ!

  1. #121
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenaphor View Post
    An ESTJ and an ENTJ will react differently, reliant on approach by both parties. Do you have an example of interaction?
    Yeah, I'll use the example that I had posted in the INTJ thread. I probably should have created a seperate thread on this (as Jim mentioned), cuz now there are 2 different conversations going, but that's cool, not a big deal. Here's what I wrote in the INTJ thread:

    I have specific scenarios in my head where a Te user would say something very "bold" IRL, either to me or to a 3rd party. And then when myself or the 3rd party punches back with something even "more bold", then the Te user seemed offended or sad when they realized the truth in the other person's statement.

    Te user: You're an incompetent idiot.
    Other person: Obviously you're the idiot if you've been stuck doing manual labor your whole life.
    Te user:

    Te user: This is the 3rd day in a row you've been 10 minutes late.
    Other person: Yeah, but the job always gets done.
    Te user: Look, don't argue with me or you'll be out of here.
    Other person: *grabs personal belongings* Bye! Good luck on the rest of the project.
    Te user: What did I do that was so bad?

    I'm not being critical here, I'm just pointing out situations I've seen where I'm thinking to myself, "What did the Te user expect when they spoke that way to the other person? The other person had no intention whatsoever of engaging in verbal combat, but because Te threw the first stone, and the other person was not "a doormat", it turned into an ugly and unnecessary (maybe hurtful) situation.
    NTJ's are the only types that have ever made me feel emo.
    ENP's are the only types that have ever made me feel like a sensor.


    There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why. --William Barclay

  2. #122
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    Te user: You're an incompetent idiot.
    Critique: Unprofessional to the max.
    Other person: Obviously you're the idiot if you've been stuck doing manual labor your whole life.
    Critique: The response ramps up the drama. Instead say "How so?"
    Te user:
    Critique: Whiner.

    -------------------------------------------------------------------

    Te user: This is the 3rd day in a row you've been 10 minutes late.
    Critique: Boss to employee.
    Other person: Yeah, but the job always gets done.
    Critique: This will be viewed as sass. Unless you have a pre-understanding that your hours are flexible, it's best to roll over at this point and say "You're right. Sorry."
    Te user: Look, don't argue with me or you'll be out of here.
    Critique: Note escalation, since you challenged his/her authority?
    Other person: *grabs personal belongings* Bye! Good luck on the rest of the project.
    Critique: Further escalation when the employee is in the wrong.
    Te user: What did I do that was so bad?
    Critique: Understandable confusion.

  3. #123
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    ^^Interesting analysis. For the record, the first conversation was me when I was in my late teens working in manual labor. I handled the criticism poorly, but for the first time, I noticed a crack in his mettle (sp?). He looked at me like, "Wow, that really hit home." In fact, after I said that, he said, "OK, let's all go home for the day. Let's call it quits, go home, and come back tomorrow." That kind of response was unheard of from him. My thoughts were basically: I'm a grunt, I'm busting my tail for you day in and day out, and I'm doing as good a job as anybody else you could find off the streets. You can fire me and hire the next guy in line if you want, but you'll criticize him every single time he makes a small mistake just like you do to me. The problem isn't "me", the problem is that he couldn't tolerate anyone who was below his competence level (which was very high at this trade). You can't bring in people at $7/hour and expect them to be as good as you with 25 years of experience. Everytime anyone would make a mistake, he would be all over it. And nobody would stand up to him. A total tyrant in the workplace. So, then, when somebody finally has enough and snaps back, leaving discretion to the wind, then he seems "hurt".

    The 2nd scenario was not me and I actually thought the Te user was wrong - only at the point where he said, "What did I do that was so bad?" Well, simple, basically you were "technically correct", but you kind of tried to act like a tough guy by saying, "You'll be out of here!" and then ----------------------> they packed their bags and left. His "mouth" basically caused him to lose the employee. He was logically correct, but he didn't "weigh the consequences" before lashing out. Threatened the employee, and the employee left. So, it's hard for me to understand how the Te user can then go home thinking, "Gosh, what did I do that was so bad?"

    Anyhow, thanks for the response. As you know, I have a lot of respect, generally speaking for the way ENTJ's navigate the workplace, and that's why I ask. It's hard to understand at times, with Te users, how when they get a bit aggressive with someone or "put someone in their place", that they sometimes aren't prepared for the backlash. 95 or 99 times out of 100, nobody is going to stand up to the Te user, but once in a while when it happens, they seem to be surprised by it. And from my perspective (as an observer or as the other person), I sometimes think "Well, what did you expect the person to do? I would have snapped back too!"
    NTJ's are the only types that have ever made me feel emo.
    ENP's are the only types that have ever made me feel like a sensor.


    There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why. --William Barclay

  4. #124
    nee andante bechimo's Avatar
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    I'll PM you with further detail since it appears that cross posting causes passive-aggressiveness.

  5. #125
    ThatGirl
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    This has been my experience interacting with ESTJs on a group project.

    TG: Looks like we need to get this done.

    ESTJ: Agreed. We should start by doing this.

    TG: But, if we do it this way, I think it would work better.

    ESTJ: I have always gone about it this way, it works just fine. Lets just get started.

    TG: But, we can get it done better, in half the time, if we try it this way.

    ESTJ: Lets see what everyone else wants to do.

    Group: *blank stare* Lets just stick to what we know.

    TG:But.....

    TG: Alight well I am going to work on this, I will meet up with you guys later to share our information.

    ESTJ: This is supposed to be a group project, don't be difficult.

    TG: *Does work separately and waits for the foreseen issues to manifest*

    ESTJ: We seem to have hit a hitch.

    TG: I tried to warn you, now we are going to have focus on this, to make up for it.

    Group: Alright what is your idea?

    ESTJ: Silent.

    TG: Well, I have already been working on this. So we only need to do this as a quick fix. Come on guys we are still ahead of everyone else, lets bust it out.

    Group produces not perfect but excellent work, ESTJ and I are awkward with each other after that.


    Or!

    ESTJ: We need to work together on this.

    TG: Yes, it is really important this, this, and this, take place.

    ESTJ: You gather all that, and I will submit it.

    TG: *blank stare*

    TG: Let me know if there is anything you need help with. *Goes back to doing own work*


    I really need to improve communications with ESTJs.

  6. #126
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    ESTJ: I have always gone about it this way, it works just fine. Lets just get started.

    TG: But, we can get it done better, in half the time, if we try it this way.
    IT'S ALWAYS BEEN DONE THAT WAY - The 6 words guaranteed to make me go off on someone.

  7. #127
    Ginkgo
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    IT'S ALWAYS BEEN DONE THAT WAY - The 6 words guaranteed to make me go off on someone.
    What about "Because I said so".

  8. #128
    Senior Member Jaguar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ginkgo View Post
    What about "Because I said so".
    Other than a parent to a child, who talks shit like that?
    Not to me, they don't.

  9. #129
    Ginkgo
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    Other than a parent to a child, who talks shit like that?
    Not to me, they don't.

  10. #130
    Ginkgo
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguar View Post
    Other than a parent to a child, who talks shit like that?
    But it's always been done that way.

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