[INTP] intp-intp first date

[suttree]

Here's a datum for the single intps.

So I set up an online date with an intp female.

I don't know about you other intp's, but intuitively another intp seems like the ideal match to me because I'm really looking for a sense of mutual understanding and mental connection in a partner.

Anyway, we met for dinner which always is a first date rife with awkwardness as people read the menu, take time to chew, etc. There weren't the sparks I had hoped for. We ended up trapped in small talk. I tried to steer the conversation to some ideas, but nothing caught. Neither one of us was able to sustain the role of the extrovert. I didn't find her physically attractive which probably hindered the flow as well.

It wasn't an unpleasant evening but I won't be calling her again. My idea of intp-intp compatibility has been undermined. Perhaps I'd hit it off with a nice entp or xnfp...

 

[Nicodemus]

The magic word: alcohol.

 

[suttree]

Sound advice. We each had a margarita.

 

[Nicodemus]

'A' as in 'one'?

 

[suttree]

Yeah, one. Neither of us was interested in hanging around for more.

I do usually prefer to meet for drinks over meeting for dinner; less opportunities for awkward, more social lubrication, and multiple introvert recharging bathroom breaks.

 

[A Schnitzel]

Some INTPs I have chemistry with. Others not so much, but only blaming type instead of analyzing the real compatibility issues will leave you a bit lacking.

 

[Rebe]

Your identical match isn't the only possibility for mutual understanding, mental and stimulating connection.

 

[suttree]

AS: Of course, you are correct. Having been on only one date, the primary compatibility issue I see was a lack of chemistry. Perhaps we could open up more in the future but a mediocre first date and lack of physical attraction doesn't make me enthusiastic to find out.

I'm a Fetard trying to get better at relationshiping, so I'm curious: What types of compatibility issues do you think are important?

Rebe: True. It seems like a higher probability though. I'm not caught up on having a relationship with an intp but I'll admit I was excited by the prospect.

 

[INA]

Great. Another twit arises, claiming intp.

but only blaming type instead of analyzing the real compatibility issues will leave you a bit lacking.

Analysis? He don't need no stinking analysis!

 

[Salomé]

^I take it you didn't enjoy the date either?

 

[INA]

Painful.

 

[Totenkindly]

Some INTPs I have chemistry with. Others not so much, but only blaming type instead of analyzing the real compatibility issues will leave you a bit lacking.

Pretty much.
I find two Ne-intensive INTPs get along just fine, typically, though.

It does kinda help if both people are open to verbalizing their thoughts, or one person is an initiator and the other a responder. Putting two responders together usually leaves conversation dead until an interesting topic is found.

Still, it can just be a chemistry thing. You're not going to sync up with everyone who matches your type.

 

[Salomé]

I like most INTPs, a lot. But I can't imagine there being much of a romantic spark there. Too incestuous.

 

[metasapiens]

Indeed INTPs are self-sufficient, we just need another INTP since we are the best prototype for the future human race

Seriously (hey but I was serious ! Geez).. INTPs get along very well, don't they ?

 

[Totenkindly]

Go to INTPc and find out.

 

[metasapiens]

Haha, my mind is made up

 

[runvardh]

Strange, I'm typically a responder, but when I headed out with an INTP things started at the book store and moved to the coffee shop at the book store. The conversation ended up self sustaining for 3 hours, only being broken by staff bumping into us as they started to close up. Then again, I'm F, not T...

 

[metasapiens]

You probably encountered a defective specimen ..

 

[A Schnitzel]

AS: Of course, you are correct. Having been on only one date, the primary compatibility issue I see was a lack of chemistry. Perhaps we could open up more in the future but a mediocre first date and lack of physical attraction doesn't make me enthusiastic to find out.

I'm a Fetard trying to get better at relationshiping, so I'm curious: What types of compatibility issues do you think are important?

Lack of chemistry is a bullshit phrase people use when they don't want to talk about it. Were you not totally into her because of her looks and she could tell? Was one of you too uptight? Did you not focus on enjoying the conversation and learning more about her? Did she have differing expectations of how you'd be in real life?

Are you actually not a very good date? I don't know, but it's a skill like any other that you can work on.

 

[suttree]

Lack of chemistry is a bullshit phrase people use when they don't want to talk about it. Were you not totally into her because of her looks and she could tell? Was one of you too uptight? Did you not focus on enjoying the conversation and learning more about her? Did she have differing expectations of how you'd be in real life?

Are you actually not a very good date? I don't know, but it's a skill like any other that you can work on.

A solid list of strategic date objectives. I am trying to develop that skill. I disagree that lack of chemistry is a bs excuse though, its not as if we'd be in love if I had asked one more question about her. The purpose of those objectives is to get to that flow state where y'all are going back and forth until you get kicked out still wanting more. If you can't cant get there and can't forsee getting there after several hours, a lack of chemistry is a valid conclusion.

INA, what did I say to make you think I'm a non-intp twit?