This problem is kind of hard to explain in words.
I have this fear that most people really don't like me and are just hanging out with me for other reasons.
No matter how self-confident I feel in other matters, I just don't think I'm a very likable person. I have strong social skills and people usually laugh at my jokes. I can bring life and fun to a social situation but I still fear that people still don't like me because I'm missing some important attributes..I don't entirely know what those are.
I can be a little obnoxious at times and sometimes insult others without the intention of hurting their feelings.
A lot of it stems from being in a relationship which lasted much longer than it should have- it turned out she wanted to breakup for a while but didn't want to hurt my feelings...so instead she got more distant and pissy (maybe hoping I'd be the one to initiate the breakup- since admittedly she was acting in ways which made the relationship much less fun) until she finally got some guts and did it herself, since I was determined to work through whatever and wasn't so eager to end things.
I'm happy things ended now but at the time, I was devastated.
I was bullied as a child- but that was expected because I was a scrawny smartass and pissed off people easily.
Some of it also stems from the fact that my college social life is radically different from my high school social life. The friends I made in high school are my friends based on similar interests and having a good time with them. While I have made some friends like that in college, I'm friends with some of them solely because of being part of the same fraternity. I'm just grateful that (for now) it seems like virtually everyone in the frat considers me to be a friend as I consider each one to be a friend. One guy recently turned out to be a jackass though and I worry..
I'm just amazed that what has happened recently has left me a little insecure..especially because I only know her via online.
I've been having some really wonderful conversations with this girl who happens to go to my university. She recently sent me an email saying she won't be as available to chat anymore. The first thought that goes through my mind is.. "Oh shit, what if I said or did something to make her hate/dislike me?" The thing that really bothers me is that if I did do anything wrong- I have no idea what it is. She could just be busier or something but still I tend to assume the worst in these cases.
I tend to be a huge pessimist in this respect...
I know it's long and unorganized but any thoughts? Fi is probably my weakest function, so while I'm good at knowing how people feel from what they show me- I'm not as good at figuring out what people feel about me. I know most people think positive things about me but I don't know about how they feel.
Another scary thing I've realized is that I feel I can live a life of being single for the rest of my life- but I feel that it's not normal to think this way and I have to keep in mind that one of my main reasons for thinking this is because I've been hurt in the past.