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  1. #61
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    Yes, well, they don't call it projection for nothing.
    Now THAT'S just funny.

  2. #62
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    Mostly because I think that one way or another everything is interesting, I could probably start talking about all kinds of trivia with unwilling people. But if I started talking about my lunch for example, it would probably be because I wanted you to the visit the awesome restaurant where I had it! If spoke about my lawn (doubt I would though) I would want to bring to your attention how much money actually went to keep it green (if you happened to be planning to get a sprinkler). As Morgan le Fay states, simply being honest and concluding that, "5 bucks is nothing, what are you whining about?" is actually a very good way of pointing out that you're not into discussing such trivial matters. Hence, in the future, I would probably be more likely trying to discuss theoretical or deep matters looking for a better way to connect. I would certainly be alot happier to talk with you about quantum physics, but if instead of being honest and stating you want deeper conversations you started avoiding me, I would probably never try. I'm afraid that, since I usually can see no good reason not to talk, I very often end up in 'social quarantine' by INTs.
    Last edited by Elemental Chaos; 08-02-2010 at 05:37 PM.
    Ennea:7w8sx/so (?)
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    So apparently I might be epileptic. Thanks brain, keep malfunctioning. I didn't think it could be that bad seeing starfalls in bookshelves. I just thought I was psychotic.

  3. #63
    psicobolche tcda's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    I'm sure we all act like the "stereotype" of our type a good amount of the time - that's where the stereotypes come from in the first place - because that's how we tend to act. And I'm also pretty sure that a good chunk of people (all?) don't always make the proper adjustment (by behaving "out of type" when it's called for). There will be times when we don't do it. If you're the one guy who doesn't do that, then I want to come watch, observe, and take notes. So, if healthy = always knowing when to act out of type when the situation calls for it, then I still make the mistake and I guess I can't be considered healthy. Even when I'm 65 years old and Si and Fe are (hopefully) fully developed, I'm sure I'll still make the mistake from time to time.
    What you actually said was "I don't know how else I could have acted". if that's the case you should seriously look into it.

    If in reality you do know how else to act but in this particular instance didn't give a fuck, then fine, happens to all of us.
    "Of course we spent our money in the good times. That's what you're supposed to do in good times! You can't save money in the good times. Then they wouldn't be good times, they'd be 'preparation for the bad times' times."

    "Every country in the world owes money. Everyone. So heere's what I dont get: who do they all owe it to, and why don't we just kill the bastard and relax?"

    -Tommy Tiernan, Irish comedian.

  4. #64
    Iron Maiden fidelia's Avatar
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    One of the solutions is being more proactive in the conversation and steering it towards something that is more likely to be of mutual interest to discuss. (Therefore neither are doing all the bending). Another compromise is putting up with a quick conversation like that, then offering a new subject that you are more interested in. As long as you do the back and forth thing, people are not going to perceive you as being self-centred or a jerk. Alternately, you could use gentle humour to show that you think he's blowing the problem out of proportion as Tallulah suggested or like Pitseleh said, just don't latch onto the subject but don't make him feel stupid for bringing it up either. None of these involve having to do all the bending yourself, and yet will be better received than the initial conversation you posted.

    Even if you are only doing this for selfish reasons (which it doesn't sound like you are), sometimes you have to weigh the cost vs the benefit. Whether it is fair that people will react to the kind of responses you gave and whether it is fair that you have to do some adjusting, the fact is that depending on your ultimate goal, what you are doing is not serving YOU well. If you try to determine what it is that matters most to you in the end, then the things you do along the way need to support that goal. This isn't about wanting people to like you or bending to do their will - it's whether what you are doing is getting in your OWN way. Because you respond the way you do to small talk, are you closing doors for yourself when people react negatively to the way you would instinctually respond? I personally hate small talk as well, but have found that if you can find some underlying purpose why it is worth your while, or some worthwhile function that can be gained from you practicing it (experimenting with various ways of responding, finding out what the other person is passionate about, steering the conversation, developing skills that may be important when you meet a girlfriend's family or in getting the job you want) that make it like more of a personal challenge or game, it becomes less onerous.

    Is there anything wrong with you as you are? No! But if you don't make changes, you are restricting who you can interact with to a much smaller percentage of the population. That may limit your business opportunities, how far your ideas can be spread or implemented, your romantic options, what information you get exposed to and so on.

  5. #65
    Administrator highlander's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    What are some other reasons people may not take well to us?

    There are a number of things that can result in people not taking well to someone which I'd imagine are independent of type:

    - Complain
    - Criticize
    - Argue
    - Show little interest in the other person
    - Don't listen
    - Tell people what to do
    - Tell people they are wrong
    - Don't try and understand the other person's perspective

    Please provide feedback on my Nohari and Johari Window by clicking here: Nohari/Johari

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  6. #66
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tcda View Post
    What you actually said was "I don't know how else I could have acted". if that's the case you should seriously look into it.

    If in reality you do know how else to act but in this particular instance didn't give a fuck, then fine, happens to all of us.
    I think it's pretty clear from his other responses that he is aware and has decent Fe. I think he meant this to be a lighthearted thread and everyone else blew it way out of proportion. There are certainly lots of INTPs with next-to-zero Fe, and yeah, that can be a problem. But there are situations where you've listened to 1,000 boring SJ stories already that day, and you'd like to do or say something that would facilitate you not wanting to kill yourself with a shovel. And that's fair, too.
    Something Witty

  7. #67
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Morgan Le Fay View Post
    She seems to be describing herself.

    Yes, well, they don't call it projection for nothing.
    Quote Originally Posted by onemoretime View Post
    Now THAT'S just funny.
    I do so love seeing armchair psychology - always makes me chuckle at the attempts.

  8. #68
    psicobolche tcda's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by highlander View Post
    There are a number of things that can result in people not taking well to someone which I'd imagine are independent of type:

    - Complain
    - Criticize
    - Argue
    - Show little interest in the other person
    - Don't listen
    - Tell people what to do
    - Tell people they are wrong
    - Don't try and understand the other person's perspective
    Well said!

    I think he meant this to be a lighthearted thread and everyone else blew it way out of proportion.
    Not me, I just said what I thought in a civil way. I didn't see nay flaming from anyone else either.

    Quote Originally Posted by Qre:us View Post
    I do so love seeing armchair psychology - always makes me chuckle at the attempts.
    Well you are on an amateur psychology forum, wtf did you expect? Freud himself?
    "Of course we spent our money in the good times. That's what you're supposed to do in good times! You can't save money in the good times. Then they wouldn't be good times, they'd be 'preparation for the bad times' times."

    "Every country in the world owes money. Everyone. So heere's what I dont get: who do they all owe it to, and why don't we just kill the bastard and relax?"

    -Tommy Tiernan, Irish comedian.

  9. #69
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tcda View Post
    Well you are on an amateur psychology forum, wtf did you expect? Freud himself?
    Hence, why I'm here. For the LOLZ. It never fails.

  10. #70
    Dreaming the life onemoretime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qre:us View Post
    Hence, why I'm here. For the LOLZ. It never fails.
    It's funny... you can really tell between those who have a knack for reading other people, and the ones who flail about randomly, mistaking their dislike for other posters with their own self-loathing.

    Kinda sad, really - but funny in a perverse way.

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