Reconsidering a few things from earlier in this thread, I think there's aspects of things I didn't think about. It's true people can be too self-involved in the way they converse, that's not everything. The fact is, often with topics I am unfamiliar with or lack a reference point for, I don't feel qualified to talk. As a result, when dealing with those topics, I imagine a lot of INTPs may have one of two possible reactions:
A) Complete inability to actually contribute to the topic, making them poor conversational partners (and possibly even self-conscious)
B) Probe for context, logic or motivations in order to form a better picture that one can feel comfortable drawing conclusions and having opinions about. Often this can end up being an indelicate process, but is almost never intentionally cruel.
Of course, a similar mentality of hesitancy to commit to things until you've given due consideration can work against me/possibly us. When we talk about something I have thought about, it's usually something I've put a decent amount of thought into and feel comfortable expressing my opinion, because I feel it's a well-supported one. Result:
A) May (not always) seem dismissive with their points or too willing and forward with your own counterpoints (especially if it's a point you've considered before or doesn't make much sense to you through your Ti-colored glasses). Again, this can be callous, but malice is seldom intended.
B) Their points may be solid and really affect you, but generally not immediately. Often, if I hear something that makes me reconsider my position, I look at it for a while before accepting it. Sometimes this can take a while, and certainly longer than allows for healthy, normal flow of conversation. Generally, I think INTPs are ready to admit they were wrong or change their opinions (which is a good thing, I think many people are less amenable to this and overly dogmatic people can be hard to deal with), but it usually takes a while to restructure their thoughts. Or at least mine.