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  1. #11

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    If you imagine that parent-child relations are a two way street you are abso-freaking-lutely deluded, whether its a cultural thing and getting more so or simply a matter of fact and perrenial, as a parent you got nothing coming, if you do its all gravy, but expect nothing.

    This is a HUGE issue, which never gets through to the people it should, so you have the parents who have unwanted, accidential pregnancies who question why their children are such disappointments to them when the children are still very young.

    If the same people gave it any serious thought they'd have sterilised themselves before they became sexually active and never looked back.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uytuun View Post
    So are you the son?

    I don't entirely get it, needs more context (more than what you provided). What are you reading into that remark?
    His dad thinks he's a worthless intp...

    Quote Originally Posted by Weber View Post
    Or maybe he's making a joke about you being a spoiled brat.


    Quote Originally Posted by Kalach View Post
    So not "take care of" as in "make it look like an accident"?

    INTJs have a thing where if they announce as if it will happen the thing that they don't want to see happen, then it won't happen. See? By announcing that the future will be terrible thing X, an INTJ would be expecting that movement will begin to avoid terrible thing X.

    It's like picking up chicks by punching them in the arm. Works every time.
    So I'm not the only one who's like this?

    I swear, the moment I let something out of my mouth, as opposed to hold it silently to myself, the universe starts moving in the opposite direction of what I have now spoken...

    Aside from my inner plans, for which this phenomenon is much more relevant, I actually have independent third party testimony about this fact: my roommate, with whom I lived for three years, and I watched probably 80% of Lakers games during the 2008-09 season. He will attest to the bizarre fact that, with almost a 95%+ hit rate, whenever I would make a comment about some Lakers player (like, "Dude, Odom's has really been stepping it up on defense the last two weeks"), the exact opposite thing would unfold before our eyes, literally within the next 20-30 seconds.

    All of a sudden, Odom just sits there with a blank stare as he lets someone drive right by him.

    Obviously, people are gunna call this apparent phenomenon confirmation bias or some other term derived from our natural overdose of skepticism, but when two people (ok, he's an Fe-dom, so. admittedly, I don't know whether that counts as a separate person ) see the same thing happen over and over again for an eight month span at, at a very minimum, a 60%-80% hit rate, and potentially up into that 90%+ range I talked about earlier: it start to seem rather bizarre...

    /derail

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    His dad thinks he's a worthless intp...
    Hell, if my son turned out to be an INTP I don't think I would be able to resist fucking a little with his mind in such a manner, so my answer to the OP's question is: yes.

  4. #14
    Senior Member Qre:us's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zarathustra View Post
    His dad thinks he's a worthless intp...
    Quote Originally Posted by Weber View Post
    Or maybe he's making a joke about you being a spoiled brat.

    This was also pretty much my initial conclusion.

    It may be a J/P conflict, in that your father may see you as lazy, directionless, without a lot of plans for your future, and how to secure your future...thus, he is snarkily commenting that you'd probably be a burden/liability when you get older. He does not see you as having potential to be self-sufficient in navigating this world.

    When he makes such comments, you can ask him how it feels to fail so badly at his fathering skills. Or a simple, "Like father, like son"/"Apple certainly did not fall far from the tree" (KID! )

    INTJ patronizing snark makes me have a knee-jerk reaction to gut-punch their vulnerable little Fi.

    Honestly, have a talk with him, ask him what he means by that, what his fears about your future are...and why.

  5. #15
    Senior Member sculpting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qre:us View Post
    It may be a J/P conflict, in that your father may see you as lazy, directionless, without a lot of plans for your future, and how to secure your future...thus, he is snarkily commenting that you'd probably be a burden/liability when you get older. He does not see you as having potential to be self-sufficient in navigating this world.
    My INTJ father in law said stuff like this about my ex-an ISTP-when he was young. Also much harsher stuff as well as the istp wanted to be a pro skateboarder and do all sorts of crazy ISTP stuff.

    The INTJ would try and teach him Te, long term planning, work ethic-which the ISTP would rebel against-thus his comments would become more harsh-like he thought by saying it more meanly he could get through to the ISTP kid. The family motto is "If you're gonna be dumb, you'd better be tough". Funny...he didnt mean to hurt the ISTP...just was trying to point out long term Te like thinking...not understanding it didnt convert-in any way. Not meant cruelly, but cruel and controlling all the same.

    If it makes you feel any better, I often look at my 14 yo enfp standing next to my 3 yo intj and say "Ah, yes, I know which one of you will graduate from college...." The enfp just laughs and says I am mean. (As he tries to cut sran wrap with a 12 inch bread knife....)

    Explain your plan-try and plot out what you will be doing in five years. Draw out a timeline and show him how you plan to be self supportive. It may not be obvious.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Orobas View Post
    my 3 yo intj
    You'd best be joking.

  7. #17
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    Sounds like he's making verbal jabs regarding his perception of your ability to be independent and self-sustaining, and his obligation as family to assist.

    If he's correct, even somewhat, it may pay to reflect upon your situation and how you could improve it. Parental figures usually have the advantage of experience even if their perspective may be a little off. But if it's complete rubbish then it may be best to question the chip on his shoulder or ignore it.

    I don't think I could see myself saying this about my son, but then, I don't think I'd feel very obligated to help someone unless I think they deserved the help, even if it was my own family. A hand up? Sure. A hand out? No.

  8. #18
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    On one hand, no as I do not plan to have children. On the other hand I do plan on taking anti-aging treatments if they become available.

  9. #19
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    Sounds like this whole family would make optimal fodder for Jerry Springer.

    "My 89 Year Old INTJ Hubby Still Breastfeeding Recently Retired INTP!"

    For free tickets, call 1-888-TEAT-YUM.
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    http://sundrytimes.files.wordpress.c...tomic-bomb.jpg


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    Quote Originally Posted by HomerSoprano View Post
    "When my son gets old I´ll have to take care of him"
    It is much in the nature of INTJs to contingency plan for any potential problem. We sometimes assume unlikely things to ensure we aren't shocked if the worst should happen. We also understand when playing the child game that there is a massive opportunity cost involved in terms of resources we can allocate to ourselves and that this will continue as long as we are alive.

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