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Thread: attention all INTP's , what were some of your hardships growing up as a teen?

  1. #1

    Default attention all INTP's , what were some of your hardships growing up as a teen?

    I'm just interested to know what you other INTP's go through growing up as a teen/young adult

  2. #2
    Emerging Array Tallulah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008


    Hmm. Well, as a teen, I remember daydreaming a lot and living basically in the future. I had the presence of mind to realize that I was probably not going to get a lot out of the high school experience. I hated the group social mentality and the importance placed upon things I felt were shallow or pointless. I hated football games and pep rallies and the concept of popularity. Looking back, I think more people liked me than I thought did, but I was so invested in the idea of not belonging. :-)

    I think college is going to be your time to shine, because you will find other people that think like you do, and other people that share your interests. High school is all about conformity. In college, that stuff doesn't matter, unless you put yourself in a position where it does, like joining a fraternity or something.

    I think every INTP will be different, as far as when they "come into their own," so to speak. The teen years were very hard for me. My twenties were when I learned more and more about myself and others and how the world works, but I still felt a little like an alien. Now, in my thirties, I finally feel like I really know what I want out of life, and I really realize that I have the tools to make it happen. I now realize that contrary to what I thought before, no one has an instruction manual to life that they forgot to give me a copy of. That everyone has their own issues, and are just trying to do the best they can.

    Do you have any specific questions you're curious about?
    Something Witty

  3. #3
    Senior Member Array INTP's Avatar
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    Jul 2009
    5w4 sx


    i got caught smoking weed to my mom when i was 16, and it was a HUGE deal to my mom
    "Where wisdom reigns, there is no conflict between thinking and feeling."
    — C.G. Jung


  4. #4
    psicobolche Array tcda's Avatar
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    Nov 2009


    I wasn't deeply unhappy, but I had quite low self-esteem, often felt lonely and would lie on the bed watching planes go past and wishing to be on them. I felt claustrophobic both at home and school. also having moved country felt nostalgic.

    I felt irrationally anxious/nervous and think I would be unconscious of this most of the time and express it physically (no need to get into details).

    I had my group of friends and we weren't "nerds" but neither were we "cool". I didn't know what I was good at (being an "intellectual" was not really encouraged).

    I didn't start to find that my intp traits were potentially highly valued till I got to 18 years old and started working and then went to uni.

    Hope that helps mate.
    "Of course we spent our money in the good times. That's what you're supposed to do in good times! You can't save money in the good times. Then they wouldn't be good times, they'd be 'preparation for the bad times' times."

    "Every country in the world owes money. Everyone. So heere's what I dont get: who do they all owe it to, and why don't we just kill the bastard and relax?"

    -Tommy Tiernan, Irish comedian.

  5. #5


    Feelings of alienation and weltschmerz.

    Basically don't have anyone to talk to because my interests and view of life are fundamentally different from theirs, spending much of my spare time reading books, playing video games and arguing on the internet.

    No real close friends because of a combination of thinking most people are shallow and stupid (guess I really just matured faster than they did) and bad social skills.

    Depressed and occasional suicidal thoughts, nothing really serious though.

    Extremly frustrated with life, society and the people in it.

    Wanted to radically change society and challenge conventions, resulting in some kind of rebellion involving drugs, alcohol and violence.

  6. #6


    wow i can relate to soo much

  7. #7
    .~ *aĉa virino* ~. Array Totenkindly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    549 sx/sp
    LII Ni


    I agree with everyone else who is suggesting that life for the INTP (unless the INTP has been fortunate with a supportive family and environment) begins at college.

    That's the place where your intellect will finally really be engaged, and it's where you are most likely to FINALLY start meeting a decent number of people with whom you can identify and who identify with you. (At that time in my life, I had no idea what an "INTP" was... but I did finally start making friends who understood me.)

    You will also probably start studying things and doing things that will help you decide what direction you want to go in the next years of your life. Usually childhood seems full of wandering around, being bored, and wondering what happens next.

    My childhood was pretty lonely, all things considered. I lived in a rural area with few friends nearby to begin with, really, and my family situation meant I wanted to be alone much of the time. I either hid in my room drawing, reading, listening to music, or doing something craft-y, or I'd be outside exploring the fields, climbing trees, digging through the garage, making things, or riding my bike for miles... usually alone. I really liked to wander; but I remember being very lonely and wishing I had someone to understand me. No one in my family understood me -- this ended up being a very big issue. (It also created issues later in life when it came to building new relationships.)

    I remember getting picked on in school (through part of high school, then people got bored and left me alone). If I aced a test, I was made fun of; if I didn't get the highest grade, I was made fun of; and people would steal my stuff and hide it. All the typical shenanigans. I did finally make friends in the music program in high school, but still no one really understood me even if I felt accepted.

    Besides not being understood, I had few (well, almost none) who shared my interests and were intellectually on my level. This also led to me being alone.

    I also was extremely shy, socially, and I didn't have much confidence or skill in expressing myself or my emotions. I was really good at music and complex topics (or traditional "geek things"), but most people didn't want to discuss that sort of thing all the time, so once conversation became more conventional, I no longer knew what to say.

    Finally, I grew up in a religious environment that really tried to pit my intellect against my virtue -- i was told I was a good person if I believed and did certain things, yet I didn't agree with all those beliefs and/or behaviors. Also, because INTP is so big-picture and quick to notice discrepancies/illogic, I was always very good at seeing how I failed to conform to my "faith" and then mercilessly depricating my self-worth because of my taint. I couldn't act rationally and consistently all the time, and I thought I was "bad" because of that... and I had no adults who thought on my level who I could talk to about it.

    All in all, my teen years were the worst of my life... aside from the times I spent alone, I think. I have some great "alone" memories, and memories of books I read and topics studied, and places I explored... but honestly college was a vast improvement.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  8. #8


    that gives me so much more hope, i can't wait for college ahaha :]

  9. #9
    Senior Member Array Reflection's Avatar
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    Jun 2010


    I had a similar experince to Jennifer's (apart from the family bit - my family always supported me, which was great - although my mother did have trouble understanding why I'd much rather be alone) throughout elementary school and the first two years of high school, at which point I adapted a bit and actually made some friends even though they never really understood me and still made fun of me from time to time... yeah, I was kind of pathetic.

    Life at the university for the past three years has been awesome. I seriously love it. There are occasional rough times, but in general it's much much better than it ever was.
    Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it.

  10. #10


    Oh yeah, that's another thing I can relate to.. large amounts of knowledge on obscure topics but when it comes to "normal" discussion and small talk I feel like a social retard.

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