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Thread: attention all INTP's , what were some of your hardships growing up as a teen?

  1. #31
    psicobolche Array tcda's Avatar
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    Nov 2009


    Quote Originally Posted by ColonelGadaafi View Post
    Yes because i did not formulate the problems or offered any solutions. But really, all it takes is a minor correction in philosphy.
    Like I said: correct or not, that advice put in that way is of no help to a young intp growing up. its like telling a young ESTJ - all you have to do is talk less and be more emotionally aware. Maybe I think that would make you a better person - but it's not really helpful advice is it?

    At the end of the day you can ignore but I'm just trying to save you from wasting your energy on a path which won't get results.
    "Of course we spent our money in the good times. That's what you're supposed to do in good times! You can't save money in the good times. Then they wouldn't be good times, they'd be 'preparation for the bad times' times."

    "Every country in the world owes money. Everyone. So heere's what I dont get: who do they all owe it to, and why don't we just kill the bastard and relax?"

    -Tommy Tiernan, Irish comedian.

  2. #32
    Senior Member Array burymecloser's Avatar
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    Jan 2010


    Quote Originally Posted by ColonelGadaafi View Post
    So i can't make an observation on these supposed "hardships"? without having some obnoxious sort resort to personal attacks.
    Oh, I'm making "obnoxious personal attacks"? Look, you're the one who came into a thread for INTPs and said... wait, what was it? Oh yeah, we're "self-induced loners" "wadding in a shit pool of obscurity". Yeah, that was a really nice thing to say. Instead of calling you "a little slow", maybe I should have gone with "tremendous hypocrite who dishes it out but can't take it". Grow the fuck up. You deserved much harsher than "a little slow" for going out of your way to say something unkind. I assume "wadding" is the way people who are a little slow spell "wading", but even if you meant something different, that doesn't seem like a very nice thing to say.

    The thread asked people to discuss unhappiness in their childhoods and you basically came in and said, "It was your own fault!" How is that anything other than gratuitous nastiness? How is that not kicking people when they're down? This thread provided a specific opportunity to see people opening up about hardships and emotionally difficult moments, and for you that was an invitation to critique the members who posted and tell them what you think is wrong with them. Then someone points out that you're acting like a dick and you get all butthurt over it.

    When he's not authoring multiple posts crying over a single, offhand, extraordinarily mild insult, ColonelCrybaby steals candy from babies, then whines about getting called on it until everyone just gets bored and goes home.

    Quote Originally Posted by ColonelGadaafi View Post
    i merely made a remark on the validity of these supposed hardships that are for the most part self-induced.
    What's your definition of "self-induced"? Unless people choose their personality types, this is one step from criticising someone for being autistic or schizophrenic. At best, it's thoughtless and judgmental. At worst, it's deliberately insulting, and frankly, that's how it comes across. There was nothing constructive in your post.

    Quote Originally Posted by tcda View Post
    I can in a compeltely non-obnoxious or abusive way tell you that while your contribution may or may not have been true (it had some truth, but you overstated it), it was 100% fucking useless from the point of view of helping a young intp to grow up.
    This is my issue. You're not trying to help anyone, just to criticise people. That's an asshole move, and you can't expect not to get called on that. If you can't handle mildly sarcastic responses, don't create insulting posts that invite them.

    Quote Originally Posted by ColonelGadaafi
    You can solve most these problems easily instead of lapsing into a vulnerable semi-depressed status characterized by low social standing, so you won't have to look back in the future like today with resentment, and make "shoulder buddy" threads about it.
    Everybody has problems when they're growing up. I don't know anyone, of any type, who was particularly happy in their early teenage years. The OP asked people to share their experiences, and when people offered them, you responded by criticising them.

    You have no idea of what i expected so your assumption is very brash and intolerant
    Well, let's run through some likely possibilities:

    1) You expected people to do what the OP asked for.
    Conclusion: You're an asshole, mocking people for trying to help someone who asked for it.

    2) You expected no one to empathise with the OP, because they had few or no hardships growing up as a teen.
    Conclusion: You're a little slow.

    3) You expected no one to empathise with the OP, because they hide their fears and weaknesses with deceit.
    Conclusion: You're an asshole.

    4) You expected people to mock the OP for being a loser.
    Conclusion: You're an asshole.

    So, perhaps I should have guessed that your growing-up hardships were because you're an asshole, rather than because you're a little slow. But that just seemed so negative, you know?

    really, all it takes is a minor correction in philosphy.
    The most important lesson of typology is that everyone is different. There is no one right way. And yet here you are trying to "correct" people who approached things differently than you do. Again, at best you're being insensitive. At worst, you're either dumb or deliberately unkind. The latter is worse in my book, so I thought I was going easy on you.

    It is not my problem that she was unable to parse the points of my reply.
    Ooh, please enlighten me on the great nuance of your thoughtful post.
    Quote Originally Posted by ColonelGadaafi View Post
    Damn people you all strike me as self-induced loners with high demands from your environments. One must realize also the usefulness of being able to do the best out of a situation, instead of wadding in a shit pool of obscurity.

  3. #33


    @ ColonelGadaafi

    Have you ever bullied someone else ?

  4. #34
    Member Array Cerridwen's Avatar
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    Feb 2010


    I was really, really detached and had a hard time focusing on things that didn't interest me. I wasn't really bullied or anything, but at the same time I didn't really have many friends either. Now that I'm in college, my high school years, seem like a weird limbo because of it's monotony. It was basically a blur. I suppose I was a bit lonely at times, but there's hardly a teenager out there that doesn't wish to "have someone understand them" and then angst heavily over it.

    To the poster who mentioned something self-induced seclusion. I suppose it's true to an extent, but at the same time, people tended to avoid me as well. I don't mean to come off as a loner, I was just quiet and in my own head for the most part and was quite content with it. The loneliness just creeped up on me every once in a while. Thus, teenage angst!
    Nothing can become anything if you tilt your head and squint.

  5. #35
    Senior Member Array think2much's Avatar
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    Sep 2009


    Quote Originally Posted by Idioteque View Post
    Feelings of alienation and weltschmerz.

    Basically don't have anyone to talk to because my interests and view of life are fundamentally different from theirs, spending much of my spare time reading books, playing video games and arguing on the internet.

    No real close friends because of a combination of thinking most people are shallow and stupid (guess I really just matured faster than they did) and bad social skills.

    Depressed and occasional suicidal thoughts, nothing really serious though.

    Extremly frustrated with life, society and the people in it.

    Wanted to radically change society and challenge conventions, resulting in some kind of rebellion involving drugs, alcohol and violence.
    this, except the last one. I wouldn't waste my energy to change something I see worthless. Oh and I'm also shallow but everyone is

    Quote Originally Posted by Jennifer View Post
    I agree with everyone else who is suggesting that life for the INTP (unless the INTP has been fortunate with a supportive family and environment) begins at college.

    That's the place where your intellect will finally really be engaged, and it's where you are most likely to FINALLY start meeting a decent number of people with whom you can identify and who identify with you. (At that time in my life, I had no idea what an "INTP" was... but I did finally start making friends who understood me.)

    You will also probably start studying things and doing things that will help you decide what direction you want to go in the next years of your life. Usually childhood seems full of wandering around, being bored, and wondering what happens next.

    My childhood was pretty lonely, all things considered. I lived in a rural area with few friends nearby to begin with, really, and my family situation meant I wanted to be alone much of the time. I either hid in my room drawing, reading, listening to music, or doing something craft-y, or I'd be outside exploring the fields, climbing trees, digging through the garage, making things, or riding my bike for miles... usually alone. I really liked to wander; but I remember being very lonely and wishing I had someone to understand me. No one in my family understood me -- this ended up being a very big issue. (It also created issues later in life when it came to building new relationships.)

    I remember getting picked on in school (through part of high school, then people got bored and left me alone). If I aced a test, I was made fun of; if I didn't get the highest grade, I was made fun of; and people would steal my stuff and hide it. All the typical shenanigans. I did finally make friends in the music program in high school, but still no one really understood me even if I felt accepted.

    Besides not being understood, I had few (well, almost none) who shared my interests and were intellectually on my level. This also led to me being alone.

    I also was extremely shy, socially, and I didn't have much confidence or skill in expressing myself or my emotions. I was really good at music and complex topics (or traditional "geek things"), but most people didn't want to discuss that sort of thing all the time, so once conversation became more conventional, I no longer knew what to say.

    Finally, I grew up in a religious environment that really tried to pit my intellect against my virtue -- i was told I was a good person if I believed and did certain things, yet I didn't agree with all those beliefs and/or behaviors. Also, because INTP is so big-picture and quick to notice discrepancies/illogic, I was always very good at seeing how I failed to conform to my "faith" and then mercilessly depricating my self-worth because of my taint. I couldn't act rationally and consistently all the time, and I thought I was "bad" because of that... and I had no adults who thought on my level who I could talk to about it.

    All in all, my teen years were the worst of my life... aside from the times I spent alone, I think. I have some great "alone" memories, and memories of books I read and topics studied, and places I explored... but honestly college was a vast improvement.
    lots of replies about life starts after college. this wasn't the same for me. I actully spend more time alone in college. I always knew I was different but college made me realize how different I was. People party almost every weekend for "fun". I tried it and didn't like it. I never attend the classes and when I did no one really talked to me. When I did talk, people just felt some kind of vibe that I was little werid. (in high school it wasn't like this). I did have one group that I could always hang out though.

    I never liked to study, I'm not very educated to be honest. I always loved to read/learn about stuff that caught my interest but I just never cared about school. I spend a lot time alone and in my head. all I did was day dream. I felt I was always "locked" in school so I would just live in my head. I was just killing time. I also wander around a lot alone. I still do wander around alone.

    My family never understood me but they made my childhood even worst(not even going to explain it). One point I remember crying and holding a knife in my hand and wanting to stab myself. Those times were the WORST I remember! mostly cause of family.

    I was bullied all the way untill high school started. During high school yrs only 2 people messed with me and it was one time thing. Most people "find" themself during college. I found myself during high school. I was just myself in high school.

    I also grew up in religious environment, too lazy to type.. long story.

    when I was about 18-19, I realized I wasted my life/childhood away but than you don't really have a choice when ur a kid. So now I live my life the way I want. I refuse to do anything I don't want to do.

    More I read in this forum site more I realize not every INTP are alike. I notice that I'm full of myself or narcissistic but being this way keeps me alive.

    Quote Originally Posted by Idioteque View Post
    Oh yeah, that's another thing I can relate to.. large amounts of knowledge on obscure topics but when it comes to "normal" discussion and small talk I feel like a social retard.
    what age do we stop being socially retarded? cause I can't EVER see myself trying to listen to some guy talking about something I couldn't even give crap about.

    well, I can listen but I wouldn't have anything to say to the guy. nice things anyway.........

  6. #36
    . Array Blank's Avatar
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    Mar 2009


    Part of the biggest problem I had growing up was coming to terms with other peoples' intelligence (read: stupidity.)

    When I grew up as a young kid, I felt remarkably average. I didn't feel that bright, I wasn't the best athlete or anything, but I felt like if I worked at something enough, I would eventually become proficient at it. My idea of someone who was smart was probably something like Mandark from Dexter's Lab--a person who immediately knew the answer to almost every question asked, with a certain aura of supreme smugness in their mental supremacy over others. Boy, was I wrong.

    As it turned out, after logic "clicked" for me in my head when I was in first grade, I very quickly developed into a highly logical person; however, I didn't really have an interest in the public school's academia. I would much rather learn about things like mythology, read stories, play video games, etc., or I'd rather play with my friends. Stuff that wasn't considered extremely academic.

    Because I didn't match my internal image of what was smart, I didn't feel smart. I thought I was average, and that "smarter" people would go on to do much more complex things than me, like rocket science (which as it turns out, if I gave a damn about math beyond very basic algebra, I -could- be a rocket scientist if I tried.) I also thought that, like a test, mistakes in the professional world were not acceptable. School kept drilling it into my head (in a latent sort of way) that mistakes or being mistaken were the devil. Sure, an A is good, right? But an A+ is always better...

    This, naturally, led me to believe that the professional working world would be much more...professional than it actually is--that people get things done right the first time without ever cutting corners, that only the most gifted people are hired based upon their merits, and even miniscule amounts of errors could lead to someone getting fired in the interest of finding someone "better."

    Once I reached middle school, I had to fully confront the idea of how stupid my peers were for the first time. I, who felt average, or even above average, constantly had my expectations of how smart my peers should be shattered. I constantly had to reevaluate my peers and how stupid they were. This, amongst other things, led to a certain kind of depression in myself where I grew to hate my fellow man to the point that I went on murderous rampages in my head.

    Of course, most people on the forums know by now what the middle school years entailed: A time of adolescence where puberty first starts to happen, when kids from differing elementary schools were shoved into a different institution and left to vie amongst their new peers to see who was cool, and who was not. In other words: it's all just a big huge popularity contest. Exactly the thing a young burgeoning INTP wants to be in.

    It was during this time that my intellectual abilities probably reached their peak as well, so it was like being a middle-aged person stuck in a class full of adolescents 7 hours a day for 185 days a year. I was extremely close to cracking for a long time. I think the thing that amazes me most, even today, is the lack of foresight most people have...and having to deal with hundreds of kids who had none at all (it's practically a characteristic of adolescence to not have foresight...)

    So while my peers were busy trying to gain the attention of their other peers for childish things, I was busy focusing on more important things, like why there was rape, violence, and death in the world, and how to prevent them. Words cannot describe the amount of time nor the depth in which I've spent thinking about that subject...yet when I came out of my head of pondering such deep questions, I returned to a world filled with lunacy and retardation.

    This bred in me such feelings of hatred, that I felt like most of my peers weren't worthy of life--for they were the ones who sat idly by contributing to worldly problems who never took the time of day to think about the consequences of their actions! Out of the two or three hundred people I knew, there were probably only a couple of handfuls of people whom I would choose not to kill. Much like Light Yagami in Death Note, I wanted to kill the wicked and support the virtuous. I wanted (and to a certain extent still do) want to create a utopian society.

    It took time to grow out of it, but I eventually had to let go of my anger to cultivate myself as a better person. Looking back, it's scary to see just how fervently I hated everyone, and I almost can't even fathom my younger self. It's really hard to describe what it was like letting go of it and moving on.

    High school was better, because kids started to mature then and I let go of my hatred, and college is much better because the popularity contest is for the most part over. One of the biggest things I had to come to terms with at college though was how poor I actually was, and how so many students take things for granted...and again just how many people don't think about the consequences of their actions and lack foresight.

    TL;DR synopsis:
    The mental image of the world I had cultivated in my head as a child was vastly incongruent with that of the real world, and rectifying it was the biggest hardship I faced as a teenager and young adult.
    Ti = 19 [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
    Te = 16[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
    Ne = 16[][][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
    Fi = 15 [][][][][][][][][][][][][][][]
    Si = 12 [][][][][][][][][][][][]
    Ni = 12 [][][][][][][][][][][][]
    Se = 11[][][][][][][][][][][]
    Fe = 0

    Tiger got to hunt, bird got to fly;
    Man got to sit and wonder why, why, why;
    Tiger got to sleep, bird got to land;
    Man got to tell himself he understand

  7. #37


    Oh uh... parents kicked me out at 15, spent almost a year homeless, drug addiction, suicidal depression and identity crisis... After being the school genius for 12 years, tipped to go to the best universities, I failed to get a place at any college due to lack of support. Gave up on myself and life and the world generally to enter a downward spiral that resulted in having a kid at 19. Which, if I hadn't had that kid, I would probably have been dead by the time I was 21, but she's been my reason to keep going and clean myself up ever since. But, also, the reason why I've not yet fulfilled one-tenth of my original potential, being too busy playing house... sigh!

    I know my type's meant to be ENTP, but the E part is pretty weak and, until my late 20's, I was extremely introverted and behaved very, very much like an INTP.
    I'm male and over 30, FYI.
    Preferences: 20% Extravert, 98% Intuitive, 68% Thinker, 17% Perceiving

  8. #38
    ¡MI TORTA! Array Amethyst's Avatar
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    May 2010
    7w8 so/sx
    SLE Ti


    I don't know if I should post, but I will anyway.
    I used to test INTP until I was 17, so yeah...I also feel like I'm going back to introvertedness, since I found myself to be just dandy after not being around people for two days straight and just doing my own thing.

    Being a teenager for me...well, really, really sucked.
    I didn't handle emotions well at all, all I would do is just suppress them inside of me until I exploded (which was very terrible and unhealthy for the most part). I had a lot of trouble getting close to people and relating to people close to me, such as my family. I hated, absolutely hated my father at the time, and I pretty much wanted nothing to do with him, so I believe that I didn't talk for him at one point for three months living in the same house. My mom just didn't understand me at all (which lead to several pointless therapy sessions), but shared the same mutual hatred for my father (it was pretty ugly for a while).

    I remember in high school I used to find it very ironic how I would think so many people were so stupid, but they would think the same of me because I was socially retarded .

    I didn't care about what people expected a teenager to care about.
    ...haha I just realized I'm still a teenager.
    But anyway.
    It was like, I just wanted to learn about the world in general, mostly about people though, because I believe that I understood them as much as other people understood me. Such as what are people's motives, is everyone really this immature and selfish, I know I'm not that smart, but am I really smarter than everyone around me, because it sure as hell seems like it. I found it really hard to make friends because I found most people annoying and stupid and a waste of my time. Somehow, I made great friends anyway.

    Then, around junior year, everything crashed. My stellar grades, my lackluster social life, the family, my sanity, everything. Gone, thanks to good ol' dad. He became even worse with the alcohol and the abuse (verbal and emotional) got out of hand. Me and my mom left for a while because we couldn't take it anymore, and since I felt like I really had no one to turn to and everything seemed hopeless, suicide became a realistic option, and was attempted a few times, but then, well, I don't really know, but I started to feel significantly better (maybe because high school was almost over, and I didn't have to deal with everyone's trivial bullshit once I went to college (Boy was I wrong, but that's another story)).

    I think after that I slowly became an E, I wouldn't say that strong of an E like I used to be say, a year ago. I think living with my aunt (or the equivalent of living alone), the annoyance of incredibly stupid people at work, and living in a dorm *cough asylum cough* full of crazies is making me become more of an I, but I don't know.

  9. #39


    I didn't really have hardships, though I made friends with a rather strange crowd while I grew up. They accepted me and I accepted them, it was an entire group of girls, which seems nice and it was until I started liking them (different story). I was quiet enough in middle school not too really be noticed beyond the fact that almost every teacher loved me. I was the only calm and quiet one that went to my school. I was lucky to have joined in with a crowd, but as I got older I grew out of my shell and became what superficially could be said as 'E' like and I enjoyed it so here I am the obnoxious guy who gets to say whatever because no one understands/believes whatever I say.

  10. #40
    Honor Thy Inferior Array Such Irony's Avatar
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    Jul 2010
    5w6 sp/so
    LII Ne


    I was the prototypical nerd in high school. My high school was very cliquey, which made my experience all the worse. I had very few people I'd consider friends, although more I'd consider as casual acquaintances. I didn't belong to any specific social group. The few friends I had were in different social groups.

    I thought being introverted was a stigma and I tried to do the extraverted thing with little success. Much of the time, I would have preferred to eat lunch alone but in high school that was just unthinkable. I didn't want to be humiliated and stared at for eating alone, so I'd shyly ask if I could sit with some people I thought were tolerable and appeared accepting of people, even though I really wasn't interested in being friends with them.

    I never went to the prom or any high school dances and I didn't care. I didn't date at all in high school. I didn't start dating anyone until college. I wasn't interested in dating at all in high school.

    I did excellent academically but felt unbalanced everywhere else. I graduated in the top ten percent of my class and did nerdy extracurricular activities like quiz bowl, math team, and Spanish club. Academics were the sole source of my self esteem at the time. I wasn't popular, I wasn't good looking, I wasn't athletic, I wasn't artistic, and I wasn't musical.

    I didn't do sports or theatre although there was a part of me that kind of wanted to. I knew I wasn't good enough to make the team or get a part so I never went for extracurricular activities that involved tryouts or auditions.

    Unlike most females, I could have cared less about my appearance. I was clueless about the latest fashions and make-up. I had a rather frumpy appearance in my high school photos.
    5w6 or 9w1 sp/so/sx, I think
    Neutral Good

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