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  1. #1
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    Default Is this normal for an INTP? feeling of loneliness

    i'm a 16 year old INTP and i can't help but feel lonely because i dont have any close friends. I also feel lonely because i dont have a girlfriend because my mom wont let me have one. But i also am kinda scared to have a girlfriend, like i dont know if i'll be doing things right, taking it at the right pace, etc etc. I also feel like i might never find a girl for me and will be lonely my whole life. It's kinda overwhelming. Is all this normal for an INTP?

    I mean, i'm a pretty charming guy, a lot of girls like me and i COULD have a lot of friends but the strictness from my mom prevents that. I always feel lonely because of it.

  2. #2
    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    Have one on the sly.
    You're a teenager; you're expected to break rules.

    and INTP at that!
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  3. #3
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    it's not that easy though, she'll probably think i'm a freak cause i'm "not allowed to have a girlfriend" it makes me sound like a child

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    now! in shell form INA's Avatar
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    This is when you show her you're all man.
    Anyway, your parents rules make them the freaks, not you. Why would you even want an idiot who can't see that?
    hoarding time and space
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    yeah i know ahaha

    but now because i wasn't able to have a girlfriend, the few girls i was interested in before think of me as just a good friend and have all moved on because i had to be stuck as their friend(cause of my mom)

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTPthinker View Post
    i'm a 16 year old INTP and i can't help but feel lonely because i dont have any close friends. I also feel lonely because i dont have a girlfriend because my mom wont let me have one. But i also am kinda scared to have a girlfriend, like i dont know if i'll be doing things right, taking it at the right pace, etc etc. I also feel like i might never find a girl for me and will be lonely my whole life. It's kinda overwhelming. Is all this normal for an INTP?

    I mean, i'm a pretty charming guy, a lot of girls like me and i COULD have a lot of friends but the strictness from my mom prevents that. I always feel lonely because of it.
    Why does it matter whether it's normal or not...?

    But yes, it's quite normal. Lots of INTP men can't get women. And they don't even have their parents to blame. Check out all the PUA interest.

    What does your mom have against gfs anyway?
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    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

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    yeah but see that's what pisses me off because i KNOW i can get girls ahahaha some of them practically throw themselves at me

    and i'm not sure what she has against them, maybe she doesn't want me having sex or something idk

  8. #8
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTPthinker View Post
    i'm a 16 year old INTP and i can't help but feel lonely because i dont have any close friends. I also feel lonely because i dont have a girlfriend because my mom wont let me have one. But i also am kinda scared to have a girlfriend, like i dont know if i'll be doing things right, taking it at the right pace, etc etc. I also feel like i might never find a girl for me and will be lonely my whole life. It's kinda overwhelming. Is all this normal for an INTP?
    Well, it sounds like least you know you have good qualities, and as soon as you get away from Mom, you'll be okay. So don't project too far and think your entire life will suck because of the way things are now, soon enough you'll be free to do what you want, when you want.

    Could you just spend time with girls doing what boys do with their girlfriends, without officially calling them a girlfriend? I mean, your Mom might be able to regulate a few things, but spending time with a girl... do you have to be able to openly call her your gf for her to be your gf?

    As far as being afraid: Yeah, it's okay, lots of people go through that. You're not odd or strange, and chances are you're no worse at it than many of the same people you are looking at and thinking they know what they're doing. You're just willing to admit it to yourself.

    INTP mentality = strategize and figure it all out intellectually before doing it, to minimize risk and discomfort. But some things, you can't do that way. Learning how to relate to people is one of those.

    I remember being scared in the sense I'd feel if I made a mistake, the person I was interested in would dump me. Sometimes that happens, but often people who do that aren't ready for a real relationship either; most "average" people can handle some amount of mistakes, especially if it's clear it was just a mistake and you're trying hard to do the right thing by them. In any case, there is no way through without just doing it, making some mistakes, making up for your mistakes, and rolling with things. It's scary right now, but it gets easier the more experience you get. It sounds like you're able to look at yourself and examine things, so you should be self-correcting and able to fix any mistakes and learn quickly.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  9. #9
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    thats the thing too she BARELY lets me spend time with girls PERIOD ahaha. Even if i say a girl is like my sister she wouldn't let me

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    Have you ever asked her why she won't let you?
    If not, why not?

    You don't have to be rude about it. You could just say something like, "Mom, I'm feeling really lonely and left out right now in my life. I'd especially like to be close to a girl my age, and I don't understand the rules you've set for me, which is just making things harder for me. Could you explain what you're thinking? It would help me if I at least understood your reasoning or what you were concerned about." Or maybe you've already done that?

    I mean, you're 16. The age where your parents would just be slapping rules on you is sort of past, awhile ago; at this point, there should be some sort of dialog going on as she prepares you to become an independent adult.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

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