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  1. #11
    Senior Member think2much's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sytpg View Post
    There is nothing wrong with being anti-social....until it gets in the way of your own happiness.

    So before solving the "problem" you have with girls, try solving the problem you have with people first. Try to be more social. Instead of reading PUA read on how to overcome social awkwardness or overwhelm.


    Only after starting to tolerate other people will you be "ready" for girls.
    I have no problem with people. I get along just fine with people. I just don't hang out with them caues I have better things to do with my time. I'm usually socially awkward cause I have nothing to say to them. The only thing that gets in the way is girls but I'm totally happy being anti-social.

    Quote Originally Posted by Reflection View Post
    , and you just need a girl who understands it. And they're not that difficult to find once you start looking and learn to compromise (at least a bit).

    Girls don't like to hear 'garbage stuff'. I for instance prefer honesty and brevity. No need for flowery language and complicated plots to show your love or whatever. I tend to distrust that.

    What's PUA?
    I haven't met a girl who can understand me. PUA = pick up artist. Most girls love to hear those garbage stuff. I guess ur one of those rare girls.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lady X View Post
    so...what you're really saying is you'd like sex but don't want to actually have to hang out with them?
    yes, I don't mind spending time with them but I NEED my space. Usually MOST GIRLS gets an idea that I don't even put effort to be with them but that's not true. I'm just not one of those people who have to do EVERYTHING with someone. In my head, If I had the TIME to hang out; I would rather hang out with guys than a girl. I just don't find them to be funny which is fine but they are usually annoying and requires a lots of attention which I cannot give it to them. I guess if I can find a girl(or anyone in general) that can stimulate my intelligent side than I would love to spend time with her but in my experience that's not the case.
    Quote Originally Posted by Stevo View Post
    You can't have it both ways. Man up and get a social life if you want a girl. If you can't do that, then stop complaining about it.
    maby I can't have it both ways. I'm starting to think it's possible to have both ways if ur rich and famous.
    Quote Originally Posted by Tewt View Post
    Hooker
    one thing it's illegal. I have thought about this for awhile actully. I use to think it would be immoral to do such thing. I can never get a hooker cause I just don't have the guts to meet up with her in a random hotel. I don't want to risk my life for something like this. Not going to risk any jail time. It's dangerous. health risks "stds". You won't know how she'll look like and if she doesn't meet my standard I rather not have sex with her and from what I read you still have to pay since she showed up. Lastly I have no idea what kind of feelings I would have after having sex with a hooker(since it's my first time) I might not be able to live with that and I'm not about to find out.




    I don't handle well with rejection. If a girl I met doesn't return my call/txt I start stressing about it and it gets in my head.

    I do realize most of the feedbacks are telling me to "change". I tried to change, I tried PUA, went to parties and try to be social but that's just not me. To be honest I CAN"T change, this is who I am. It's just so mentally draining to spend time with people. Anyway is it possible for me to get what I want being myself?

  2. #12
    Senior Member Moiety's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by refreshe123d View Post
    I have no problem with people. I get along just fine with people. I just don't hang out with them caues I have better things to do with my time. I'm usually socially awkward cause I have nothing to say to them. The only thing that gets in the way is girls but I'm totally happy being anti-social.
    You have nothing to say to them because you are not dealing with interesting people or interesting girls. Or because you think you have nothing to learn or to get from other people.

    Quote Originally Posted by refreshe123d View Post
    I do realize most of the feedbacks are telling me to "change". I tried to change, I tried PUA, went to parties and try to be social but that's just not me. To be honest I CAN"T change, this is who I am. It's just so mentally draining to spend time with people. Anyway is it possible for me to get what I want being myself?
    That's not the kind of change that you need though. You think you have to play a roll you don't.

    I still don't get what you want from a girl, so I can't answer your questions. I do know there are people out there for all tastes. So you have to keep looking. The only way for the "search" to not be boring or tiring is if you start to like getting to know people and being at least a little bit social. Otherwise you'll have to wait for one to fall on your lap.

  3. #13
    mod love baby... Lady_X's Avatar
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    yes, I don't mind spending time with them but I NEED my space. Usually MOST GIRLS gets an idea that I don't even put effort to be with them but that's not true. I'm just not one of those people who have to do EVERYTHING with someone. In my head, If I had the TIME to hang out; I would rather hang out with guys than a girl. I just don't find them to be funny which is fine but they are usually annoying and requires a lots of attention which I cannot give it to them. I guess if I can find a girl(or anyone in general) that can stimulate my intelligent side than I would love to spend time with her but in my experience that's not the case.
    that just means you haven't found one you like yet...obviously someone wouldn't want to hang out with someone they found annoying...not all girls are like that anymore than all guys are.
    There can’t be any large-scale revolution until there’s a personal revolution, on an individual level. It’s got to happen inside first.
    -Jim Morrison

  4. #14
    meh Salomé's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by refreshe123d View Post
    Anyway is it possible for me to get what I want being myself?
    No. At least, I certainly hope not.
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

  5. #15
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    Yeah, if you don't find women interesting, they are going to pick up on that.
    Something Witty

  6. #16
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    What is it you want, really? Sex without a relationship? A relationship that doesn't include social interaction? A girl that says she is your girlfriend but doesn't mind not spending time with you and have you be totally uninterested in her?

    It doesn't make sense. If you find girls uninteresting, what is it you want with them?

    And you (general you, for all those nice guy threads and not getting girls etc) don't like a specific girl -- what is it with wanting just a girl in general? I mean, a girl isn't a toy or object that can just be obtained because you want one. Unless you're willing to get a hooker and c'mon it's not always illegal, many people are hookers they are just more quiet about it.

    So yeah, in your current state you're able to get a girl, but it will have to be a hooker in some way. What do you have to offer? Money, services, something of use to someone else that you can barter?

  7. #17
    psicobolche tcda's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tewt View Post
    What is it you want, really? Sex without a relationship? A relationship that doesn't include social interaction? A girl that says she is your girlfriend but doesn't mind not spending time with you and have you be totally uninterested in her?

    It doesn't make sense. If you find girls uninteresting, what is it you want with them?

    And you (general you, for all those nice guy threads and not getting girls etc) don't like a specific girl -- what is it with wanting just a girl in general? I mean, a girl isn't a toy or object that can just be obtained because you want one. Unless you're willing to get a hooker and c'mon it's not always illegal, many people are hookers they are just more quiet about it.

    So yeah, in your current state you're able to get a girl, but it will have to be a hooker in some way. What do you have to offer? Money, services, something of use to someone else that you can barter?
    This is it pretty much. OP, you're not asking "what am I offering". You reduce it all to sociability but is that really the only problem? You must meet girls sometimes - work, school, through friends etc. So what's the problem in those instances?

    Start by asking that and presumably then you'll be able to know 1.) what kind of girl and relationshiop you currently have a chance of getting and 2.) if that isn't satisfactory, what you have to change to get the kind you do want.

    If you're not naturally sociable this is a hindrance, but it's not the end of all hope. You can make up for this by being good at things which make you of use to society and therefore give you status, or by acting in a way that is pleasant/interesting to be with, or by being physically attractive, or all three.

    If you don't nurture any of those 4 things then yes, I can see it would be hard to get laid. But really you almost certainly have the ability to nurture at least one of those strengths and probably more than one.
    "Of course we spent our money in the good times. That's what you're supposed to do in good times! You can't save money in the good times. Then they wouldn't be good times, they'd be 'preparation for the bad times' times."

    "Every country in the world owes money. Everyone. So heere's what I dont get: who do they all owe it to, and why don't we just kill the bastard and relax?"

    -Tommy Tiernan, Irish comedian.

  8. #18
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    Quote Originally Posted by refreshe123d View Post
    maby I can't have it both ways.

    That's usually how relationships work out. It's really quite simple: either you decide to change, or they do. If you do then you aren't being yourself and you have to deal with that, if you don't, and you are as anti-social as you say you are, you deal with that situation. No amount of advice can change these two basic principles.

  9. #19
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecttcelfeR View Post
    That's usually how relationships work out. It's really quite simple: either you decide to change, or they do. If you do then you aren't being yourself and you have to deal with that, if you don't, and you are as anti-social as you say you are, you deal with that situation. No amount of advice can change these two basic principles.
    Gawd. Yes.
    Resoundingly yes.

    It's less about right and wrong, far more about what you are willing and able to invest. There are some things that are negotiable (i.e., you can change them without a loss to yourself or not need your spouse to change in order to be happy) and some things that are non-negotiable (i.e., you're not going to be happy if you change them or things that if your spouse doesn't change, you won't be able to deal with).

    So once you have your sense of who you are and what is negotiable vs not, and your partner's, you now know whether it can work or not.

    It doesn't mean it WILL work, you still need to make the effort, but people just seem to fight about controlling each other and making each other change, when it's just a futile battle. The answer is much more simple.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  10. #20
    Senior Member think2much's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tewt View Post
    What is it you want, really? Sex without a relationship? A relationship that doesn't include social interaction? A girl that says she is your girlfriend but doesn't mind not spending time with you and have you be totally uninterested in her?

    It doesn't make sense. If you find girls uninteresting, what is it you want with them?

    And you (general you, for all those nice guy threads and not getting girls etc) don't like a specific girl -- what is it with wanting just a girl in general? I mean, a girl isn't a toy or object that can just be obtained because you want one. Unless you're willing to get a hooker and c'mon it's not always illegal, many people are hookers they are just more quiet about it.

    So yeah, in your current state you're able to get a girl, but it will have to be a hooker in some way. What do you have to offer? Money, services, something of use to someone else that you can barter?
    the answer is sex. If I do find a girl that I find interesting I would want a relationship but I do need my space and the girl would need to understand. Given the fact that I need my "space" I realize it's not possible to maintain such relationship in this circumstance. I will take whatever I can get. If I can find a girl that I enjoy being with I'm fine being just a friend. If a girl just wants to hook up I'm fine with that also.

    What is it with me wanting a girl? well I have sexual desire. I tried mentally to overcome this but as a human being I'm biologically wanting to reproduce. I'm also curious as hell about opposite sex physically.

    I have listed all the problems I would encounter with a hooker in my other post. 2 main reasons are 1.immoral 2. I wouldn't be able to live with myself getting a hooker, I know I'm a better person than that and I KNOW I can get girls without getting a hooker. But I'm not sexually attractive to those girls I can have sex with.

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