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[NT] The Epic story of an @$$h0|3: dying alone with my best friend, me.

Arthur Schopenhauer

What is, is.
Joined
May 1, 2010
Messages
1,158
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So, I've been realizing just how much of a big asstard I am. Seriously, it's almost sickening. It turns out that the kind if girls I like... Well, let's just say the 'I like you' feeling isn't even close to being mutual. I've become some kind of egotistical monster, I have this enormous sense of entitlement that isn't deserved, I always put myself first, I constantly try to get intellectual one-ups by strategically breaking peoples arguments down -this isn't really a bad thing though, but the way I go about arguing belittles the Hell out of the other person and the reasons why I argue aren't even good ones,- I expect people to do exactly as I expect them to but WHOAH, GLORY HALLUJAH, people don't really want to call me 'Emperor Of Everything'...

How the Hell do I fix myself before I become older, even more lonely, and bitter-er? I'm looking into the future and all I see is me, with a cane, a messed up leg and some vicodin... It's a very fancy and expensive cane though... Very, very fancy...

But in all seriousness. What do I do to correct myself? Can I even be corrected? Help.
 

INTP

Active member
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tell your friends that they can punch you when your being an total asshole
 

Vie

Giggity
Joined
Jun 9, 2010
Messages
792
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ENTJ
Enneagram
8
Props to you for mentioning House in a round-about way!! If you do, preferably a fancy cane WITH FLAMES.

I realized that I was the same way about a year and a half ago. I was, simply put, a complete egotistical jackass. I held my tongue around almost everyone. I found myself hating people more at first, because I wasn't allowed to vent my anger at their incompetent behavior out. But I took up writing, working out, ranting to a friend who didn't care that I thought I was all that and bag of potato chips.


This long later, I still find most people to be idiots. But now I just laugh with them, rather than at them. It helped me some.
 

Arthur Schopenhauer

What is, is.
Joined
May 1, 2010
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Props to you for mentioning House in a round-about way!! If you do, preferably a fancy cane WITH FLAMES.

Don't encourage my bad behaviour...

I realized that I was the same way about a year and a half ago. I was, simply put, a complete egotistical jackass. I held my tongue around almost everyone. I found myself hating people more at first, because I wasn't allowed to vent my anger at their incompetent behavior out. But I took up writing, working out, ranting to a friend who didn't care that I thought I was all that and bag of potato chips.

Good ideas. Not talking will be an easy one.


This long later, I still find most people to be idiots. But now I just laugh with them, rather than at them. It helped me some.

It's going to be a long road to recovery. I see that now.
 
Last edited:

strawberries

shadow boxer
Joined
Apr 20, 2010
Messages
947
MBTI Type
----
when i was a kitten i was more argumentative. then i realised some people are just immovable and daft and don’t value logic or analysis and that my mental energy could be better used in other ways. i still find myself drawn into debates, but i can be more detached now and walk away before i say anything super ugly.

my first boss after i graduated and got a grown up job said to me 'you get more with sugar than shit.' i have seen this play out in my professional and personal life over and over. you don’t need to sell out, but you do need to pick your battles. people generally don't want to listen to lonely, angry people - their currency ends up devalued no matter the strength of their ideas.
 

lets eat pie

New member
Joined
Jan 10, 2010
Messages
123
MBTI Type
intp
Enneagram
5w6
Why bother arguing with people you think are stupid? Why argue with people you see as beneath you? What is there to gain besides both parties ending up hating each other? Focus on what is worth arguing about. It can help if you pause to think why you want so badly to prove something to someone else. Is it to clarify something? Or maybe to challenge a different idea? If the only reason is so you can gain face through the detriment of the other person, then take vieamemusique's advice and keep quiet. If you do choose to argue, then make sure your points are damned good-- making a big deal out of winning petty fights won't benefit anyone.

You can try improving yourself in an area of expertise. Then restrict yourself to arguing on topics within that topic because then you have a legitimate excuse to debate. You might win, you might lose, but try to learn something in those debates, rather than focusing on just trying to win.
 

INTP

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Why bother arguing with people you think are stupid? Why argue with people you see as beneath you? What is there to gain besides both parties ending up hating each other?

maybe he likes to feel superior to other people.

anyway, instead of arguing, try to make them understand your point of view peacefully and try to (really)understand their point of view. if you cant understand other peoples point of view, you are just as stupid as those who cant understand yours.
 

lets eat pie

New member
Joined
Jan 10, 2010
Messages
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intp
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maybe he likes to feel superior to other people.

anyway, instead of arguing, try to make them understand your point of view peacefully and try to (really)understand their point of view. if you cant understand other peoples point of view, you are just as stupid as those who cant understand yours.

Yes this is very important. Stupidity is something that is hard to gauge; it's so subjective. If two people refuse to or cannot see eye to eye with another, they might end up saying the other person is too stupid to understand. What may be labelled as a problem of stupidity is more likely than not misunderstanding or miscommunication.
 

Moiety

New member
Joined
Aug 3, 2008
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5,996
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ISFJ
Think really hard what you are trying to subconsciously accomplish by acting that way. Are you striving for a better world? Are you stroking your own ego? Is it an anger catharsis for ya?

Try to analyze yourself, and your life and understand why you are that, and why you are instinctively compelled each time to do it again.

After that, just scratch, and invent a conscious new purpose for when to be argumentative. A good one.
 

Metamorphosis

New member
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May 9, 2007
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3,474
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INTJ
Pretty normal for a young INTJ.

One day you realize that being hard isn't the same thing as being strong and most of the things that you think make you strong are really just compensating for your weaknesses.
 
Joined
Jun 6, 2007
Messages
7,312
MBTI Type
INTJ
when i was a kitten i was more argumentative. then i realised some people are just immovable and daft and don’t value logic or analysis and that my mental energy could be better used in other ways. i still find myself drawn into debates, but i can be more detached now and walk away before i say anything super ugly.

my first boss after i graduated and got a grown up job said to me 'you get more with sugar than shit.' i have seen this play out in my professional and personal life over and over. you don’t need to sell out, but you do need to pick your battles. people generally don't want to listen to lonely, angry people - their currency ends up devalued no matter the strength of their ideas.

True true true. And there is a difference. "Selling out" is one of the most abused concepts I can think of.
 

miss fortune

not to be trusted
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Oct 4, 2007
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yeah... like strawberries said, you've got to add some sugar in with what you say... make a mental note of that and remember, you're more likely to get your way if people LIKE you, not if you just beat them over the head with your certitude... the smart approach isn't to argue relentlessly until they give up in disgust, it's to read them, figure out how they think and make them like you, and then they'll be much more likely to do as you want :laugh:
 

JustHer

Pumpernickel
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Aug 7, 2009
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1,954
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ENTJ
I think INTJs (ENTJs too) can be prone to this, especially when they are younger or just unhealthy. I would suggest trying to just change the subject anytime you feel the need to correct someone or argue. Or try stopping yourself from asserting your opinion and instead first ask a lot more questions and try to clarify what they are saying. Oh and rather than telling someone what is wrong with what they are saying, try asking them a question about it that would make them realize themselves that there is something wrong with it.

Sounds like it could be a social anxiety thing too.
 

miss fortune

not to be trusted
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:whistling: young STJs can be just as apt to do the same thing... I think that anyone has the capabliity of at least learning to fake Fe when necissary though...
 

Qre:us

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Nov 21, 2008
Messages
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I don't know why but "A Christmas Carol" comes to mind, reading the OP....
 
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