anyway, instead of arguing, try to make them understand your point of view peacefully and try to (really)understand their point of view. if you cant understand other peoples point of view, you are just as stupid as those who cant understand yours.
Yes this is very important. Stupidity is something that is hard to gauge; it's so subjective. If two people refuse to or cannot see eye to eye with another, they might end up saying the other person is too stupid to understand. What may be labelled as a problem of stupidity is more likely than not misunderstanding or miscommunication.
when i was a kitten i was more argumentative. then i realised some people are just immovable and daft and don’t value logic or analysis and that my mental energy could be better used in other ways. i still find myself drawn into debates, but i can be more detached now and walk away before i say anything super ugly.
my first boss after i graduated and got a grown up job said to me 'you get more with sugar than shit.' i have seen this play out in my professional and personal life over and over. you don’t need to sell out, but you do need to pick your battles. people generally don't want to listen to lonely, angry people - their currency ends up devalued no matter the strength of their ideas.
True true true. And there is a difference. "Selling out" is one of the most abused concepts I can think of.
Everybody have fun tonight. Everybody Wang Chung tonight.
yeah... like strawberries said, you've got to add some sugar in with what you say... make a mental note of that and remember, you're more likely to get your way if people LIKE you, not if you just beat them over the head with your certitude... the smart approach isn't to argue relentlessly until they give up in disgust, it's to read them, figure out how they think and make them like you, and then they'll be much more likely to do as you want
Human beings make life so interesting. Do you know that in a universe so full of wonders, they have managed to invent boredom? -Terry Pratchett
I think INTJs (ENTJs too) can be prone to this, especially when they are younger or just unhealthy. I would suggest trying to just change the subject anytime you feel the need to correct someone or argue. Or try stopping yourself from asserting your opinion and instead first ask a lot more questions and try to clarify what they are saying. Oh and rather than telling someone what is wrong with what they are saying, try asking them a question about it that would make them realize themselves that there is something wrong with it.
Sounds like it could be a social anxiety thing too.