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  1. #1
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    Default How Have You Dealt w/ Deep Emotional Trauma

    I'm asking because I'm dealing with it and really sucking at it.

    I did the same thing when my mother passed away.

    I fluctuate between putting myself on the couch and analyzing my feelings from a distance

    or

    Indulging in some really stupid and potentially self-destructive mind (mixed-with-reality) candy.

    I read something last night that wasn't meant for my eyes but I knew it was directed toward me and it was like a slap in the face. I realized that I'm doing everything I can not to experience my feelings because I don't know what to do with them and I don't know how to grieve without feeling like I'm going to lose my head.

    So, how have the rest of you dealt with really serious emotional trauma?

  2. #2
    Emerging Tallulah's Avatar
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    I would find a friend who will just let me rant and vent and figure things out. When I am hit by something heavy like that that emotionally affects me, it's like a big, confusing tangled ball of yarn in my brain, coupled with physical effects, like nausea. I have to have someone help me make sense of it. Then I get tired of talking about it and either drive around trying to forget or find something else to occupy my brain.

    If you need someone to talk to, I'm happy to listen via PM! Might help to have two INTPs on it. :-)
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  3. #3
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    I just drive and think... people are not my first source of strength. I can't handle immediate input. I'd blow up on them. I just need to think about the incident about a million times just to sort and rationalize.

  4. #4
    @.~*virinaĉo*~.@ Totenkindly's Avatar
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    Stuffing can be effective, but you do need to be able to let it out somehow.

    Sometimes it can be as coarse as finding a safe place where no one will intrude, where you know you'll be alone for a few hours, and just let yourself fall apart and experience all the emotions. let it vent so you can let go of it.

    If that doesn't work, my other favorite options are (1) writing about it, letting myself say whatever I want even if it's vile and emo-laden and full of bile or (2) sitting in the dark and playing the piano, just making up whatever I want and letting my emotions come out through it.

    It's also good sometimes to talk to another person, but it has to be someone you feel safe with completely, and who can handle ANYTHING you might say, do, or act out without losing their love and respect for you. For it to be any good, you have to be able to be honest.

    R, yeah, I've done the driving thing on occasion. The only problem for me is that I can't allow myself to cry when driving, and that if I'm really really angry my driving tends to reflect that. not good. Maybe as a weird alternative to real driving, you can just pop in a car video game and push the thing to max, since wrecking means nothing.
    "Hey Capa -- We're only stardust." ~ "Sunshine"

    “Pleasure to me is wonder—the unexplored, the unexpected, the thing that is hidden and the changeless thing that lurks behind superficial mutability. To trace the remote in the immediate; the eternal in the ephemeral; the past in the present; the infinite in the finite; these are to me the springs of delight and beauty.” ~ H.P. Lovecraft

  5. #5
    Giggity Vie's Avatar
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    I tend to rant to a good friend over some sort of comforting indulgent food or writing a nasty, depressing, emotional wreck of a thing that will never be seen by another person. I tend to shy away from self-destructive habits as of late, since I learned the hard way that no good comes from a few brief moments of 'happiness'.

  6. #6
    Senior Member InsatiableCuriosity's Avatar
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    I go through stages where I coldly deal with it at a distance (I loathe allowing anyone to see they have hurt me) then find a place to withdraw and let it all out. Once that is done, I become pragmatic and look at the problem whollistically and unravel each tangled part in my mind. I look at whether in fact there may be some validity to my reactions - I am very self-examining. I then proceed to gather the threads and untangle everything - I have extreme patience.

    If I find I have been unjustly treated - I don't make a scene - in my inner core I just withdraw from that person inch by inch with each issue until I eventually feel nothing for them and withdraw completely.

    If it is a relationship that is very important to me I look at the issues and try to work together to find a way through that will not mean me compromising my ethos or self.

    Hard job to do - I wish I had started a stress busters' business where people could go and safely smash old china to their hearts content!! There is something inherently satisfying in smashing something at these times!!
    "Study hard what interests you the most in the most undisciplined, irreverent and original manner possible."
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  7. #7
    Member Tradewind's Avatar
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    Stuff like this is always really hard. I was abused when I was young and had a really hard time dealing with it. Avoiding your grief and trying to put of mourning is probably the worst thing you could do.

    It may feel like someone ripped your insides out or you are walking around with a gaping hole in you but its the only way. It helps to have a supportive network of people you trust and can be vulnerable with.

    For me I usually journal, write a song/poem, vent, go to a peaceful place or watch a sad movie just to get all the emotions flowing. Its not important to understand or analyze them. Most of the time just getting them out prevents them from becoming toxic.
    Stupid as a man, say the women: cowardly as a woman, say the men. Stupidity in a woman is unwomanly.
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  8. #8
    As Long As It Takes.... Redbone's Avatar
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    Thank you for your comments.

    I find myself feeling a great deal of anger for having these feelings evoked in the first place.

    I am dealing with it...bit by bit. Goddess--it's so very hard...

    I find it amazing that people are actually comfortable with "feeling" and knowing whatever it is they feel and immersing themselves in the experience of it.

    Gah--I don't know why I'm replying right now. Way too emotional to make much sense. I'm going for a drive down by the ocean...

  9. #9
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    Meditation has helped me. It may sound goofy to the rational mind but focusing on breathing lessens the intensity of the emotions while still letting them run their course.

  10. #10
    Oberon
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    I generally go into a bout of acute depression, coupled with addictive behaviors, neurosis, and unhelpful brooding.

    But that's just me.
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