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[INTJ] How can you tell...

InvisibleJim

Permabanned
Joined
Nov 19, 2009
Messages
2,387
:laugh: The Monte Carlo approach to dating. I love it.

I recently upgraded to a Latin Hyperbole approach to try to speed up how my brain deals with these things. Set out the situation logically and hit the extremes. Damn stochastics.

Yes, INTJ's will generally only show interest if they are interested: if the interest wanes or we feel our efforts aren't being reciprocated we will try to back off without causing a hastle. The best way to find out what your INTJ is thinking is by making them comfortable then asking them to think about it.

The most important think you can do with you INTJ is make him comfortable by not forcing emotional responses from him. Most INTJs have problems correctly expressing and dealing with emotions so if you can show him how to do that without him feeling threatened he'll stop running hot and cold.
 

paperoceans

Une Femme est une femme
Joined
Aug 24, 2009
Messages
834
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
8w7
Sooooo,

this chick grab me and put me on her lap while i was talking to her in a group of her friends, i kind of went blank and walk off without saying anything. We're not really close friend, I just like talking to her and nothing more. I only knew her for like a month. I don't know what happened, i guess it was unexpected. How do i remedy this situation. She probably felt creeped out that i just walked out....

Slap her!
 

ceecee

Coolatta® Enjoyer
Joined
Apr 22, 2008
Messages
15,908
MBTI Type
INTJ
Enneagram
8w9
Once mutual attraction is confirmed, I'm all about getting physical. In fact, I would be quite annoyed if the g/f was holding back... I'd be like "What is this bullshit? Do you like me or not?"

But the whole "not knowing how to verbally express feelings" does remain. INTJs have plenty of feelings, it's just that they are viewed as something that is susceptible to illogical motivations, and therefore a source of vulnerability. A verbal admission to them is like an admission to a weakness - not something an INTJ is fond of doing.

This. I have feelings, all kinds of them but I can't always get it from my brain to my mouth. This is probably why I still prefer writing down things that are difficult to say. It's also why ENFJ man and I, to this day, use the IM to talk about really hard stuff. In the same house. Appearing weak is about the worst thing I can imagine. Expecting me to verbalize AND appear weak, not happening.
 

forzen

New member
Joined
May 7, 2009
Messages
547
MBTI Type
INTJ
Slap her!

haha, nah...although it'll probably awkward to talk to her from now on. I don't really like burning bridges anymore, i've done it alot in the past and regretted burning a couple.
 

Edgar

Nerd King Usurper
Joined
Oct 25, 2008
Messages
4,266
MBTI Type
INTJ
Instinctual Variant
sx
Sooooo,

this chick grab me and put me on her lap while i was talking to her in a group of her friends, i kind of went blank and walk off without saying anything. We're not really close friend, I just like talking to her and nothing more. I only knew her for like a month. I don't know what happened, i guess it was unexpected. How do i remedy this situation. She probably felt creeped out that i just walked out....

Tell her you had gas and didn't want to fart in her lap.

She will be very understanding and appreciative about it.
 

SillySapienne

`~~Philosoflying~~`
Joined
Jan 14, 2008
Messages
9,801
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
I mean, I even asked him if he wanted me to not be physical with him ( I hug people I like). He asked me not to. So I restrain myself, talk to him for 10 minutes and find him attacking me from behind :shock:
And he didn't leave me alone anymore after that physically. Sitting against me, lying on my shoulder, touching my hand, cuddling..you name it. Explanation: he just felt 'comfortable' with me :rolli: :D
:D

I think that their ability to feel truly comfortable in your presence, means amd says a lot about them as well as the health and future potential of the relationship.

Hahahahaha, what's interesting/odd, that I, too, am a physically affectionate person yet with an INTJ, even one you feel incredibly close to, you still just get this feeling/need to ask before you do something *new*.

Or, at least I do. :)

With most people, I can read them and the situation so well that often times there is no need to ask, however, with an INTJ I just feel, I dunno, inclined to *slowly test the uncharted waters*, whether this be out of personal insecurity or fear, (as in, fear of crossing one of their Lines), I'm not quite sure.

Hahahahaa, thoughts, many thoughts....


:)
 

SillySapienne

`~~Philosoflying~~`
Joined
Jan 14, 2008
Messages
9,801
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
Once mutual attraction is confirmed, I'm all about getting physical. In fact, I would be quite annoyed if the g/f was holding back... I'd be like "What is this bullshit? Do you like me or not?"
Fair enough. ;)

But the whole "not knowing how to verbally express feelings" does remain. INTJs have plenty of feelings, it's just that they are viewed as something that is susceptible to illogical motivations, and therefore a source of vulnerability. A verbal admission to them is like an admission to a weakness - not something an INTJ is fond of doing.
Practice makes perfect, puddin'. :yes:

Edgar, I lurrrrrrrve you, and you make me feel soooooooo very good inside, you're as cute as an apple bran muffin; sweet, fortified, and slow to digest... You're like a great BM, hahahaa, shall I go on?!?!?

See, it's easy!!!

:D
 

Edgar

Nerd King Usurper
Joined
Oct 25, 2008
Messages
4,266
MBTI Type
INTJ
Instinctual Variant
sx
First time I heard anyone use "slow to digest" as a compliment...

That was a compliment, right?
 

SillySapienne

`~~Philosoflying~~`
Joined
Jan 14, 2008
Messages
9,801
MBTI Type
ENFP
Enneagram
4w5
First time I heard anyone use "slow to digest" as a compliment...

That was a compliment, right?

Of course, or would you rather be compared to a shot of vodka?!?!

Quick, easy, fun, and gets the job done.

Hahahaa, actually, you might. ;)
 

Wild horses

New member
Joined
Oct 25, 2008
Messages
1,916
MBTI Type
ENFP
They don't kill you and no longer crush your feelings any given chance...??? LOL no seriously... I dunno please tell me cos this type has me stumped! :(
 
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