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  1. #31
    Kickin' Ass since 1984 GargoylesLegacy's Avatar
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    Hm, how can you tell...Well, I am an INTJ but it kinda differs. But I guess mostly I wanna know lots of Things about that Person. Sometimes it is a really individual Thing. I mean some People are "scared" if you do certain Things and others might like them so I *try* to do what is most comfy for them. But mostly I would really say "wanting to know Everything". Like every Detail, even if it is boring as Hell *lol*

  2. #32
    Senior Member Harlow_Jem's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by girlnamedbless View Post
    ...when an INTJ is in love with you?
    ...or if they're just really, really sick and leading you on?
    INTJ's rarely, if ever fuck around. If they want you, they'll be there. They've got to be a pretty sick INTJ to be leading you on. And if they're leading you on, it's probably for the purpose of using you to get something or to get something from you, not merely just to play around.

    "I have no need for good souls; an accomplice is what I want"--Sartre


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  3. #33
    Member Airius's Avatar
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    You have to consider with dating that anyone is capable of leading you on; anyone can be manipulative. I don't think there's a specific manner to deal with each type as far as approaching them about their romantic intentions.

    Ask for a straight forward answer on it, and pay close attention to his actions. Chances are, if you're unsure whether or not he's leading you on, you probably already know the answer.

  4. #34
    Senior Member Misty_Mountain_Rose's Avatar
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    I agree with everything posted in here about reactions to close relationships.

    I might also add that the most 'chaotic' times in my life have been when I was involved with someone on a romantic level. There is so much TURMOIL that accompanies getting close to someone for me that I need HUGE amounts of time after a dating relationship ends before I get back out there. Lots of time to process, hash over the 'what should I have done differently' and ultimately come to terms with the fact that it ended.

    I also meticulously try not to make the same mistakes over and over. IE Dating someone who was a hard-core online gamer for a long time made me swear never to date another one. etc etc. The list of things to avoid is getting frighteningly long the older I get, which is kind of scary since I know that, rationally, I shouldn't judge others in new relationships by past lovers, but it happens anyway. I categorize them into 'Good' and 'Bad' traits and weigh them at the onset of every possible new 'connection'. Its depressingly 'calculated' when I do decide to try to get close to someone. If I get to that point, they've passed all of the 'prerequisites' that I have for beginning a relationship, and now I want to find out more.

    Once the 'getting close' begins however, my world kind of turns inside out, especially if there are things about the person that I've decided to 'overlook' about them in the weighing process. I have been known to go from extreme, EXTREME swings of feeling connected to a person to thinking we know nothing about each other, and the attachment/detachment that comes with both scenarios... all within a few hours time. It is hell on the side of me that is frantically trying to categorize and understand all of the emotions. Much like the stock-markets, I go into this 'over-correcting' rollercoaster and don't find the middle-ground very easily. If I'm lucky, I can keep my partner out of the loop while all of this craziness goes on and present a united front to them.

    Inside my head though, it gets really crazy.
    Embrace the possibilities.

  5. #35
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    I'm not even sure what "love" means. But I know what commitment is.

  6. #36
    `~~Philosoflying~~` SillySapienne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Edgar View Post
    I don't know about that. If I am attracted to a girl, I would be more than happy to hug her given a chance.

    And if I truly care about someone, I'd be a lot more likely to show that through actions (by doing things for her), instead of talking about my attraction to her in a logical manner. Who the hell wants to hear your mate explain their attraction to you "in a logically consistent" manner? My T is 100%, and if my mate described her attraction in a clear, consistent, logical manner, I would feel like I'm some kind of a item that was purchased instead of an object of affection.

    Any INTJs want to throw their 2 cents into this? Or am I some sort of an albino of my type?
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  7. #37
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    LOL@ Edgar.

    Doesnt it happen though that an INTJ doesn't know how to express his feelings, doesn't dare to get physical (which seems to be easier for you guys..just go to the whole touchy feely stuff FiSe gives ya), and would then resort to trying to explain it, and automatically fall into the pitfall of using Te to do so?

    I'm just guessing here as mine kinda just jumped me and hugged me crazy the first time he saw me irl. He did however, once he decided that he wanted to date me (there were complications before that so it wasn't possible), explain concisely that he wanted to date me and wanted to do it now, as I was single so he didn't risk me bringing home some Russian guy (I was an exchange student in Russia for a year) even though he realised that would make it a long distance relationship.
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  8. #38
    Nerd King Usurper Edgar's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Amargith View Post
    LOL@ Edgar.

    Doesnt it happen though that an INTJ doesn't know how to express his feelings, doesn't dare to get physical (which seems to be easier for you guys..just go to the whole touchy feely stuff FiSe gives ya), and would then resort to trying to explain it, and automatically fall into the pitfall of using Te to do so?
    Once mutual attraction is confirmed, I'm all about getting physical. In fact, I would be quite annoyed if the g/f was holding back... I'd be like "What is this bullshit? Do you like me or not?"

    But the whole "not knowing how to verbally express feelings" does remain. INTJs have plenty of feelings, it's just that they are viewed as something that is susceptible to illogical motivations, and therefore a source of vulnerability. A verbal admission to them is like an admission to a weakness - not something an INTJ is fond of doing.
    Listen to me, baby, you got to understand, you're old enough to learn the makings of a man.

  9. #39
    The High Priestess Amargith's Avatar
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    Oh I can confirm that from my side, yes. Actually, mine told me I loved him first to my face with quite a bit of arrogance. Open book *sigh*. After that he had no problem claiming what he considered his anyway, verbally, and telling me it was mutual at last. But the physical thing..that was before anyone of us even fessed up to feelings for one another, we were just very good friends.

    I mean, I even asked him if he wanted me to not be physical with him ( I hug people I like). He asked me not to. So I restrain myself, talk to him for 10 minutes and find him attacking me from behind
    And he didn't leave me alone anymore after that physically. Sitting against me, lying on my shoulder, touching my hand, cuddling..you name it. Explanation: he just felt 'comfortable' with me :rolli:
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  10. #40
    Senior Member forzen's Avatar
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    Sooooo,

    this chick grab me and put me on her lap while i was talking to her in a group of her friends, i kind of went blank and walk off without saying anything. We're not really close friend, I just like talking to her and nothing more. I only knew her for like a month. I don't know what happened, i guess it was unexpected. How do i remedy this situation. She probably felt creeped out that i just walked out....
    This post grammatical errors had been intentionally left uncorrected.

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