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Thread: Overwhelmed

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    Default Overwhelmed

    One of my greatest achievements with people has been to show an ESFP how much there was that he didn't know. After learning a little bit of HTML, he finally realized he didn't know PHP, javascript, C#, how to use FTP, and so forth. Admittedly this is quite a narrow and shallow area of human knowledge. But to him the discovery seemed to have meant a lot. Very honestly and spontaneously he confessed, wow, I thought I knew pretty much everything, but now that I really know a little bit there's so much stuff to know to make you dizzy!

    I thought that was a big achievement, because I showed an SF the breadth and depth of what is out there in a world which is unfamiliar to him.

    Now years after, I am also feeling dizzy about all that is out there beyond the mirror. The infinity of interwoven personal dramas. How lives get screwed up and mixed together. She has bipolar disorder, attachment disorders, but it's normal, she saw public executions and people's brains squirting out of their forehead. And me, seems I was abused with "invalidation" and I have the most benign 3rd (fortunately) of the symptoms of borderline personality disorder. Together, we explode easily, whereas I never had problems with other people before. Except my parents. Who were really messed up as children too. And now I see other people's parents psychological messes too. I read about relationships, and psychology, and can place the events of my life and others' and people's utterances and fears in a new framework of weakness, cognitive and relationship problems. The ESFP's mother lost her identity to a strict superego who thwarted her growth and nearly destroyed her family. My new roommate had cancer and was about to die, and her boyfriend didn't even show up, that didn't make her too happy as her parents divorced and ditched her to live with her grandma and she seeks primarily protection from a guy. My own mother was probably co-dependent. I know now the psychological prison that won't let you be rational in an abusive relationship.

    Holy, holy f---ing crap. I'm still trying to find out what I'm becoming, and if it means I'm getting closer to other people's experience of reality, or farther from it.

  2. #2
    ThatGirl
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    ...... Jesus Christ.


    I'll write more when I am drunk.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    ...... Jesus Christ.


    I'll write more when I am drunk.
    Not drunk yet?

  4. #4
    Senior Member proximo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ocean View Post
    Holy, holy f---ing crap. I'm still trying to find out what I'm becoming, and if it means I'm getting closer to other people's experience of reality, or farther from it.
    I think you've just started to use your Fe, that's all. I think this is a good sign that you're more aware now, you're not so stuck inside yourself (as many introverts can be, particularly introverted thinkers) that you can't see that you're not the only one with crosses to bear. You've started to see the crosses on other people's shoulders and to realise that everyone has baggage, reasons why they are the way they are, beyond the typical INTP dismissal of people supposedly just being too "stupid" or "shallow" if they simply don't relate to/aren't instantly fascinated by your worldview. You're now less judgemental about people who aren't what you see as rational.

    I'd say it's all a good, good sign of your personal devlopment. Keep it up
    I'm male and over 30, FYI.
    Preferences: 20% Extravert, 98% Intuitive, 68% Thinker, 17% Perceiving

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    Sometimes it is hard to relate to people when alot of them prejudge you before getting to know you, this has happened to me alot, some bad experiences. I don't think people who don't share my values(reason, curiousity, critical thinking) are stupid and worthless, but I do think they could benefit from my perspective just like I could benefit from their experience. I think the problem people with strong internal ideals have is they hold other people up their standards that are undesirable or unachievable to them, so they usually end up being disappointed with the world in general.
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  6. #6
    ThatGirl
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    Quote Originally Posted by ocean View Post
    Not drunk yet?
    Nah, regardless of anything I would have to say you are so stuck in a way of thinking I doubt it would be of any use anyway.

    Not being mean, just psychology has a way of doing that to people.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ocean View Post
    One of my greatest achievements with people has been to show an ESFP how much there was that he didn't know. After learning a little bit of HTML, he finally realized he didn't know PHP, javascript, C#, how to use FTP, and so forth. Admittedly this is quite a narrow and shallow area of human knowledge. But to him the discovery seemed to have meant a lot. Very honestly and spontaneously he confessed, wow, I thought I knew pretty much everything, but now that I really know a little bit there's so much stuff to know to make you dizzy!

    I thought that was a big achievement, because I showed an SF the breadth and depth of what is out there in a world which is unfamiliar to him.

    Now years after, I am also feeling dizzy about all that is out there beyond the mirror. The infinity of interwoven personal dramas. How lives get screwed up and mixed together. She has bipolar disorder, attachment disorders, but it's normal, she saw public executions and people's brains squirting out of their forehead. And me, seems I was abused with "invalidation" and I have the most benign 3rd (fortunately) of the symptoms of borderline personality disorder. Together, we explode easily, whereas I never had problems with other people before. Except my parents. Who were really messed up as children too. And now I see other people's parents psychological messes too. I read about relationships, and psychology, and can place the events of my life and others' and people's utterances and fears in a new framework of weakness, cognitive and relationship problems. The ESFP's mother lost her identity to a strict superego who thwarted her growth and nearly destroyed her family. My new roommate had cancer and was about to die, and her boyfriend didn't even show up, that didn't make her too happy as her parents divorced and ditched her to live with her grandma and she seeks primarily protection from a guy. My own mother was probably co-dependent. I know now the psychological prison that won't let you be rational in an abusive relationship.

    Holy, holy f---ing crap. I'm still trying to find out what I'm becoming, and if it means I'm getting closer to other people's experience of reality, or farther from it.
    *hug*
    Quote Originally Posted by EffEmDoubleyou View Post
    St. Stephen took rocks and St. Sebastian took arrows. You only have to take some jerks on an internet forum. Nut up.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ThatGirl View Post
    Nah, regardless of anything I would have to say you are so stuck in a way of thinking I doubt it would be of any use anyway.

    Not being mean, just psychology has a way of doing that to people.
    Dismissive, judgmental, unwilling to engage. Did psychology did that to you?

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