[NT] NT Parents

[Coriolis]

I was challenged on the "NT women - do you want kids?" thread to start one for NT men, but I am more interested in a different but related question. Specifically, what kind of parents do NTs make? If you are an NT parent, how does your parenting style differ from that of other types? If you are not (yet) a parent, have you considered at all what unique skills or weaknesses you would bring to the relationship? Finally, if you have an NT parent, what has been your experience of that relationship? Responses from non-NTs are welcome, especially for the last.

 

[ThatGirl]

My father is INTP and was pretty absent (nose in a book, work, computer) for the better portion of my youth.

I am a parent and I worry about teaching my son how to grow up emotionally disciplined and healthy. I tend to teach him to value his independence and capability. I try to not crush his creativity. But I have no idea how to teach him...the feely stuff.

 

[INTPness]

One strength that comes to mind is that I think I'd be great at allowing my child to discuss things with me openly and honestly. There would definitely be an open line of communication. There wouldn't be anything that he/she would be unable to talk to me about.

One weakness that comes to mind is that I probably wouldn't be particularly "buddy buddy" with the parents of my kids' friends. I'd talk to them about what our kids are doing together and be pleasant, and I'd definitely be involved with/interested in my kids' extracurricular activities, but I'm not sure I'd be part of the "clique of cool parents".

I also think there will be a lot of humor in my family, which will make for some good times.

My INTJ father was kind of like this. I could go to him for anything. Extreeeeemely loyal. But, there wasn't a huge emphasis on connecting with other families/kids like there was with my ESFJ mom.

 

[Snydley]

I researched the hell out of vaccines and came up with my own vaccination schedule before letting some nurse who failed AP 3 times stab my kid with a concoction she knows nothing about.

I encourage my kid to play with interactive toys (trucks, dolls, blocks) rather than stick him in front of a TV.

I watch him fall and get bruised, fail and get frustrated, before offering to help him. He needs to realize in his own way that using a toy truck as a stepstool is not a good idea.

On the downside, I can get caught up in my work or other projects and at the end of a day realize that I didn't spend enough time with him.

 

[Betty Blue]

I'm pretty sure my Father is ENTP with a fairly high f though. I can't fault his parenting skills, he taught us so much about life. He used to take us all over the countryside teaching us about geology, geography, history, science and many things besides. He was very hands on, a bit cold at times and cantankerous but he balanced it out with the amount of time effort and love he put into bringing us up. He's an incredibly intelligent man and a great person to verbally spar with. I could go on, any specific questions welcome.

 

[Coriolis]

My father is INTP and was pretty absent (nose in a book, work, computer) for the better portion of my youth.

I am a parent and I worry about teaching my son how to grow up emotionally disciplined and healthy. I tend to teach him to value his independence and capability. I try to not crush his creativity. But I have no idea how to teach him...the feely stuff.

Is there someone else, say his father, who is perhaps better at teaching him this? What do you do to expose him to "the other side"? Does your uncertainty about it seem to bother him at all?

 

[Coriolis]

A follow-on question for all:

What about the relative types of parent and child? Is it easier parenting children of your own or similar type? Is it easier having a parent of a similar type, or do you end up just reinforcing each other's negative qualities?

Also, INTPness wrote: "I probably wouldn't be particularly "buddy buddy" with the parents of my kids' friends". If you have an NT parent, were they like this when you were growing up? Did it cause any problems?

 

[ThatGirl]

Is there someone else, say his father, who is perhaps better at teaching him this? What do you do to expose him to "the other side"? Does your uncertainty about it seem to bother him at all?

I don't really show uncertainty to him. Mostly I just encourage him when I recognize he is reacting in an emotionally positive way, and stick to teaching more of what I know.

Idk, I guess the only unnerving question to juggle with as a parent is "How do I know I am doing it right?"

I just go by how I read my son, the situation at hand, and what is required. Then, hope I am rich enough to pay for his therapy in the future.