User Tag List

Results 1 to 10 of 10

  1. #1
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    67sx
    Posts
    89

    Default On loving and taking care of yourself (INTP)

    As an INTP I realized very late in life that my mind's drive to optimize the hell out of anything and everything sticks me with two very bad side effects.

    1. I completely ignore opportunity cost because I'm focused on optimizing to death with the variables I have

    2. I don't take care of myself

    I will talk about point 1 next time. This time I'd like to talk about #2, and ask fellow NTs and in particular INTPs and in particular girls whether they experience this as well.

    Basically the mind sees my body as a nuisance, and itself as a mere spectator. As it does this it tries to optimize for parameters as if I weren't even there with my needs and feelings.

    Money: When I pick a hotel try to spend as little as possible with no concern for comfort. After all, spending the night is a biologically imposed delay - not part of the grand plan. Any money spent on accommodation is basically wasted. As I ponder the hotel cost I am confronted by a million ways in which the same money would gratify the mind a lot more.

    Time: I try to squeeze as many activities into a day as possible. I need to go to the gym. I want to finish at least 3 separate work related tasks. Clear all emails and phone calls. And more. As I do this I may neglect showering, shaving my face, I may eat too late, not sleep properly etc.

    So in other words my mind tends to experience the world as a frigging disembodied agent. It monopolizes all resources sparing very little for the body and only when the latter compromises its functioning.

    I'm making it a bit too dramatic, perhaps with time I have already improved on this a bit. But still there are times when I realize all of a sudden that I'm feeling miserable! And I snap out of thinking and realize I'm treating myself like trash, I should spend more time making my body feel good rather than indulging hour after hour in mental gratification.

    It's hard though. I have a particular attraction to exciting things, especially intellectually exciting things. I wish I had the time to write an automated program to plot Ulam's spiral on many multidimensional manifolds and do a multidim pattern recognition program to see if prime numbers create a stable pattern under any conceivable geometry. This would take years full time - I'm not sure anyone's worked on pattern recognition on multidimensional geometry. I'd like to make a game starring me. I started it years ago, the engine, the first two screens, then I didn't have time to finish it. I'd like to become a real pro at the violin rather than just dabbling. This is a total must do, I'm willing to sacrifice pretty much anything.

    Do you see - there are an unlimited number of fulfilling, rewarding, extremely exciting things my mind wants to do, and the body can't keep up.

    I need to relax, talk with people, eat some chocolate, appreciate the moment, so I can reduce cortisol, produce some melatonin, and so forth. I need to force myself to go out when I see some sun, so I can produce some vitamin D and improve my mood.

    But generally the mind monopolizes resources. The body starves of resources until the mind's functioning is compromised.

    I feel I should take better care of myself. In the end I'm like an adrenaline junkie or a crack addict except that my crack is knowledge, but not even knowledge, it's more like feelings cranked up to the max that I get when I penetrate some new sphere with my awareness or see the fruits of my unbounded creativity.

    Coming back to you, do you feel the same and how do you cope?

  2. #2
    Senior Member Reflection's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5
    Socionics
    ILI
    Posts
    345

    Default

    I forget to eat most of the time. I forget to wash my hair and watch my weight and tons of other things connected to every day stuff. When I'm involved in a project, I forget about everything around me - and that includes paying attention to my body's needs and how I look.

    I am lost to the world around me when I'm concentrating on something - I don't notice the time passing, I don't notice hunger or thirst or even when I have to go to the bathroom. It doesn't bother me that much, because my mother usually calls and snaps me out of it (she generally knows when I'm in one of my research modes, because sometimes I don't call her for days at a time and she knows she has to remind me to eat and sleep).

    I have a different problem with money - I never know how much I have left. I buy approximately 5 books a month, even when I don't have enough left to buy groceries or other things I might need now. Apart from books, I'm particularly wasteful on make-up - I buy tons and tons of make-up I usually forget to put on, so it just sits there on my shelf.

    Generally, I try to look my best whenever I leave the house, even though occasionally I'll forget to brush my teeth or shave or whatever. When I realize that I've forgotten to do it, I feel extremely self-conscious and ashamed. But usually, it doesn't bother me that much - mainly because I'm so lost in thought most of the time, I don't even notice the things I'm supposed to.
    Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it.

  3. #3
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    67sx
    Posts
    89

    Default

    That is a bit disturbing, BECAUSE, after an experience with an ISFP I was totally ready to go for an INTP girl but now you bring home the hard truth which is, she's going to have periods of total neglect just like me, and well I'm aesthetically very picky, I don't think I can be around someone who's got unshaven legs even if she's very smart.

    I know this may offend some, but ... that's the honest truth about how I feel. In fairness, if my partner cared about my own looks as much as I cared about hers I would make it a point to always be in tip top shape. However women generally don't care about these things, some even tell me I'm sexier with a beard so.. that's a big part of why I let myself go at times.

    So now... the topic was about how that makes you feel, don't you feel like you're neglecting yourself? Though nurturing your mind, you're failing your body at some level... don't you find yourself exhausted and in a bad mood and wonder why... and then realize you're not tending to and soothing your body nearly enough?


    Quote Originally Posted by Reflection View Post
    I forget to eat most of the time. I forget to wash my hair and watch my weight and tons of other things connected to every day stuff. When I'm involved in a project, I forget about everything around me - and that includes paying attention to my body's needs and how I look.

    I am lost to the world around me when I'm concentrating on something - I don't notice the time passing, I don't notice hunger or thirst or even when I have to go to the bathroom. It doesn't bother me that much, because my mother usually calls and snaps me out of it (she generally knows when I'm in one of my research modes, because sometimes I don't call her for days at a time and she knows she has to remind me to eat and sleep).

    I have a different problem with money - I never know how much I have left. I buy approximately 5 books a month, even when I don't have enough left to buy groceries or other things I might need now. Apart from books, I'm particularly wasteful on make-up - I buy tons and tons of make-up I usually forget to put on, so it just sits there on my shelf.

    Generally, I try to look my best whenever I leave the house, even though occasionally I'll forget to brush my teeth or shave or whatever. When I realize that I've forgotten to do it, I feel extremely self-conscious and ashamed. But usually, it doesn't bother me that much - mainly because I'm so lost in thought most of the time, I don't even notice the things I'm supposed to.

  4. #4
    Senior Member Reflection's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5
    Socionics
    ILI
    Posts
    345

    Default

    Now, now, I wouldn't not shave if I actually had someone to shave for. I don't go out with unshaven legs where they can be seen, you know. I like looking my best - it's just that at times, I forget about it (during the winter, I mean, when nobody gets to see my legs in all their glory). I am very aesthetically picky as well, and it probably seems very hypocritical of me, but that's just how I am. I dislike beards on men, though, and I absolutely hate it when women have unshaven legs. I like my men and women sparkly clean and beautiful.

    But I don't think I could stand being with another INTP... I'd need someone who pays attention to their surroundings, someone who remembers to pay the bills and cook food.

    Of course I find myself exhausted at times. But I'm working towards correcting it. I love my body and therefore I should take better care of it. I've much improved since last spring, actually - I went to a nutritionist and she drew up a schedule for me. I pay more attention to when and what I eat nowadays, I work out every day and occasionally I even go out running in the nature. See? Nature - I'm in tune with it. My bad moods are much rarer these days and I'm not nearly as self-neglecting as I used to be.
    Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it.

  5. #5
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    67sx
    Posts
    89

    Default

    Ah, interesting
    The similarities are almost too strong for comfort. So you have glorious legs? That's a definite plus in my book. Another quirk of mine, since we talk about legs, is that for the life of me I can't get aroused if a woman isn't wearing high heel shoes. Oh well to come back to the topic...

    As an INTP I do not feel like I forget important stuff. I am very conscientious and finish up things on time. I always pay bills on time (unless I decided NOT to pay them at all ). Cooking... I hated it for the longest time... but recently at my decrepit age I finally understood that it's sometimes interesting to do it... especially if you cook for someone and it's sort of a sensual thing where your creation can be tasted by the other person, there are all kinds of erotic and nurturing nuances which used to escape me. Still I don't like to do it especially 3 times a day. I have two INTP friends (male) who are good cooks and love to cook.

    Running is great to enhance your neurotransmitter balance. So is sunlight. I find this has an extreme impact on my mood. I'm sure that constant thinking depletes some substances which can be replenished by exercise and sunlight. When I feel like crap I tend to find logical explanations why everything sucks - but then I notice that the same facts have no emotional weight when I feel good and the sun's shining. Ah, let's not forget sleep. If I don't get a good 9 hours of quality sleep every day I can get depressed, and be in the worst mood.

    I am a very light sleeper, I use earplugs and even then the slight buzz of a USB hard drive at a distance of meters can wake me up. I'd do very well in a world with wild animals sneaking up on people throughout the night but with noisy neighbors it just makes life miserable. If I wake up I usually have to go to the restroom, eat and such and I can't sleep again.

    I can't sleep with my girlfriend in the same bed, this really is pissing me off, I'd like to be able to but sleep is just too important so at this point I sleep in a different room (even though I love cuddling before going to sleep).

    Anyone has the same symptoms or wants to comment on whether this is a turnoff? (having to sleep in different rooms).

  6. #6
    Senior Member Reflection's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5
    Socionics
    ILI
    Posts
    345

    Default

    Luckily for you and other men like you, I am almost constantly in high heels. I simply adore the look of my legs in them. And of course they're glorious.

    Don't get me wrong, I love cooking for other people. I just forget to feed myself. Cooking is one of the things where I can get really creative - I love making up new recipes and experimenting with different seasonings and the cuisine of different countries. The sense of satisfaction when you see the other person enjoy your cooking is immeasurable. Baking, however, is my favourite. Cookies, cakes, muffins, cupcakes... Half the fun is in making them and the other half in watching people enjoy them.

    Bills are something of a weakness of mine. I tend to forget about it and put it off to the last minute. Huge problem, as I live alone and there's no one to remind me.

    I sleep like a log. Seriously, when I finally fall asleep, I can sleep right through an earthquake. But the falling asleep part... that one's difficult. I can't seem to shut off my brain so I just lie in bed, trying to force myself to go to sleep for at least an hour every night.

    I don't think sleeping in different rooms would be too much of a big deal if it's only about getting a decent amount of sleep. I'll tell you something right now, you would definitely have to sleep in a different room if you were with me - I grind my teeth in my sleep. Very loudly. People have complained about it before and I've always suggested that they sleep on my retractable sofa/bed - they refused to, thinking it would offend me. But it honestly wouldn't, because I get it, you need your sleep and I'm bothering you. No big deal. (As long as, as I already said, it is only about that.)
    Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it.

  7. #7
    Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    67sx
    Posts
    89

    Default

    Our relationship would be wonderful: you just give me your credit card, and I would remember to pay all the bills on time! :-) hehe.

    I totally envy your sleeping "skills"!! If I could sleep like a log my life would be so great. Look I only have about 2 episodes a year of honest, pure uninterrupted, deep sleep and when I wake up I feel like I've got energy oozing from every pore, I feel like I've got a flame on me and I'm going to burn through anyone standing in my way. Whereas most times I wake up thinking hey that wasn't so bad, then after an hour or so I get sleepy again. If I fight it (and sometimes I do that without realizing it) I find myself totally wasting time, not focusing on goals, being very "P" and picking my skin (obvious sign of messed up neurotransmitter balance). If I slept well every night I would probably own a small country by now.

    My cooking abilities are limited. I can boil white rice and add furikake (non-cooked pieces of seaweed), natto beans (again uncooked so actually I'm cheating on this list), and my all time favorite a kind of semi-boiled semi-fried chicken. When I cook for myself food is just fuel and swallowing it is part of the daily plan so I just look for high protein low carb stuff that's not going to make me fat or derelict. On the other hand I can cook pretty good pasta since I am Italian though most English speakers do not appreciate the fundamental difference between real pasta and the ketchup based Alfredo crap that's served in the US and elsewhere

    By the way what sort of piano music do you play? I taught myself revolutionary etude, ocean etude and fantasie impromptu from scratch (no prior piano experience). Don't know any other song so I play those ad nauseam and will continue to do so until I iron out the mistakes. Biggest hurdle was reading the damned notes... my fingers are quite agile once I've memorized where to put them. I totally love classical music and always start studying way more instruments than I can handle. Flute, piano, violin, cello, chinese guzheng, japanese shakuhachi, opera... and I swear if I ever stop traveling I will eat beans for a year and then buy a grand harp it's better than sex!!! I salivate thinking about it ;-P

  8. #8
    Senior Member Reflection's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5
    Socionics
    ILI
    Posts
    345

    Default

    If only I remembered to do the things on my to-do list, I'd probably own a small country by now, as well. I'm very good at planning, but very bad at implementing plans.

    I love Asian food, so mostly I find myself cooking a combination of Asian and standard European fare (trying to find Asian ingredients here is a right pain, so I substitute a lot). I love pasta. And a good Alfredo sauce. Ketchup based Alfredo? I'm cringing over here. I absolutely hate it when my friends put ketchup on pizza - a good, old-fashioned homemade tomato sauce is irreplaceable as far as I'm concerned. Especially if the tomatoes are fresh and my mother remembers to send me our olive oil...

    You're Italian? Why, hello there neighbour! Even if you're not actually in Italy right now.

    I'm currently mastering Fantasie Impromptu myself. I play all sorts of things, though mostly Chopin and Debussy. I love jazz, so that's in there as well. Other instruments I play are guitar and drums, but in actuality, my primary instrument is my voice. I sing all the time, I practice daily and generally annoy my neighbours.
    Always listen to experts. They'll tell you what can't be done, and why. Then do it.

  9. #9
    Nips away your dignity Fluffywolf's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    9 sp/sx
    Posts
    9,422

    Default

    The body is a mere shell for our mind. This is true. What is also true is that our mind thrives in a healthy body.

    I don't dress up to look good. I am no health freak. I don't eat regularly. But I do make sure I eat enough, drink enough, dress appropiatly and clean myself enough. I don't overdo anything, I don't particlarly focus on eating very healthy but I do make sure I get some greens in there. So I definatly do take care of myself. Although I'm not obsessed about it.

    Why? Because my mind isn't half as genius if I don't. Feeling fit is good for the brain.

    Optimizing your brain capacity starts with taking care of your bodily needs. So tell me what is so important to INTP's that could possibly have them indirectly lower their thinking capacity. I know your time is valuable, but surely the benefits outweigh the costs tenfold?


    PS: Start taking care of yourself. :P
    ~Self-depricating Megalomaniacal Superwolf

  10. #10
    meh Salomé's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    MBTI
    INTP
    Enneagram
    5w4 sx/sp
    Posts
    10,540

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ocean View Post
    That is a bit disturbing, BECAUSE, after an experience with an ISFP I was totally ready to go for an INTP girl but now you bring home the hard truth which is, she's going to have periods of total neglect just like me, and well I'm aesthetically very picky, I don't think I can be around someone who's got unshaven legs even if she's very smart.

    I know this may offend some, but ... that's the honest truth about how I feel. In fairness, if my partner cared about my own looks as much as I cared about hers I would make it a point to always be in tip top shape. However women generally don't care about these things, some even tell me I'm sexier with a beard so.. that's a big part of why I let myself go at times.
    [youtube="MqlE1nE-0Tk"]ORLY?[/youtube]
    Quote Originally Posted by Ivy View Post
    Gosh, the world looks so small from up here on my high horse of menstruation.

Similar Threads

  1. Having pets/children and not taking care of them
    By prplchknz in forum General Psychology
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 06-17-2014, 07:32 PM
  2. [ENFP] ENFP's on taking care of themselves
    By thinkinjazz in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 30
    Last Post: 07-11-2010, 09:48 PM
  3. [INFP] INFPs: Not Taking Care of Yourself
    By Kastor in forum The NF Idyllic (ENFP, INFP, ENFJ, INFJ)
    Replies: 52
    Last Post: 07-02-2010, 05:06 PM
  4. Replies: 12
    Last Post: 04-12-2010, 02:21 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO