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  1. #31
    Senior Member proximo's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    To clarify, the ENTJ in the OP did not have "bad time management". His meeting had been planned for a week. Helping the friend move was sprung on us with only about 3 hours notice.
    Okay, coulda been made clearer in the OP but thanks for clarifying that now, and forget what I said about this particular guy, though I still think it holds true for many other situations.

    I guess part of it might come from a general worry that, if you're seen to change your plans and all that, you might be seen as flaky or unreliable, you might worry that people would be hesitant to trust you with their plans in future; it could be your reputation that you're sort of anxious about being tarnished in some way, if you rearrange/flex round things.
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  2. #32
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    But, again, from the P perspective I handle a situation like this in the following way: Uh oh, this is taking way longer than expected and I have a meeting coming up. Vocalize this as soon as possible: "Hey guys, I have an important meeting at 5pm, so I have to leave at 4:30pm regardless of how much progress we've made. Cool? Cool!"
    Yep, I would let people know the situation too.

    Now, I'm done with it. The "stress" is off my chest and everyone is aware of my situation. Now, I can continue on stress-free. I look at my watch from time to time and when it gets to be 4:30, I leave and go to my meeting. And I don't allow myself to feel guilty for leaving. I had to choose one or the other and I chose the meeting. No regrets. There's nothing I can do other than that. So I do it stress free. I roll with it. Things unfolded a certain way and I made an adjustment as I saw necessary.
    This is where I diverge from you. Even if I did what you did, I'd still be antsy. It has nothing to do with feeling guilty for leaving, it's simply my mind goes to the Next Thing of its own volition. It's not stress, per se, it's me just being geared up for the next thing in my schedule. I dunno how to explain it, nor do I expect you to get it.

    (Although I have to say.. I wouldn't be nearly as extreme as the guy you mention... every 30 seconds is, uh, extreme. But yeah, I can relate to the general thing of looking at the watch every now and then, and everything else I said. haha.)
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  3. #33
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    This is where I diverge from you. Even if I did what you did, I'd still be antsy. It has nothing to do with feeling guilty for leaving, it's simply my mind goes to the Next Thing of its own volition. It's not stress, per se, it's me just being geared up for the next thing in my schedule. I dunno how to explain it, nor do I expect you to get it.
    I do get it. I do that too sometimes. I'm not immune to stress myself or to having my head in 2 places at once. I'm just trying to paint a picture of why his mannerisms and his antsy-ness made me go, "he's really trippin' right now!" And he was. It was a little strange to watch because he's usually not like that.

    I really do see it as a P/J difference (the way he reacted compared to the way I would have reacted). J's are great at "making things happen". Being proactive. Taking the initiative. Organizing the meeting in the first place. To put it bluntly, they sort of "impose their will". I don't mean that in the negative sense. They know what they want, and they go out and cause it to happen.

    P's (at least this one) are great at adapting and flexing around however the situation presents itself. It's the opposite of my J description. Instead of taking the initiative, organizing a meeting, imposing our will, etc., we wait to see how the situation will develop and then we react. Instead of proactive, it's often reactive.

    It's not that one is "the best". It's just 2 sides of the coin, 2 sides of the J/P dichotomy. Surely, the "J" behaviors will make more sense to the J's and the "P" behaviors will make more sense to the P's.
    NTJ's are the only types that have ever made me feel emo.
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  4. #34
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    I do get it. I do that too sometimes. I'm not immune to stress myself or to having my head in 2 places at once. I'm just trying to paint a picture of why his mannerisms and his antsy-ness made me go, "he's really trippin' right now!" And he was. It was a little strange to watch because he's usually not like that.

    I really do see it as a P/J difference (the way he reacted compared to the way I would have reacted). J's are great at "making things happen". Being proactive. Taking the initiative. Organizing the meeting in the first place. To put it bluntly, they sort of "impose their will". I don't mean that in the negative sense. They know what they want, and they go out and cause it to happen.

    P's (at least this one) are great at adapting and flexing around however the situation presents itself. It's the opposite of my J description. Instead of taking the initiative, organizing a meeting, imposing our will, etc., we wait to see how the situation will develop and then we react. Instead of proactive, it's often reactive.

    It's not that one is "the best". It's just 2 sides of the coin, 2 sides of the J/P dichotomy. Surely, the "J" behaviors will make more sense to the J's and the "P" behaviors will make more sense to the P's.
    No disagreements here! I agree, they're 2 sides of the coin.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  5. #35
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Hopefully my Ne didn't take this thread on too far of a journey to a distant land , but it's a desire to understand the "why" behind his actions as it relates to MBTI. Why he reacted so differently than I would have. Thanks again for the responses.

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  6. #36
    Senior Member Uytuun's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    Yep, I would let people know the situation too.

    This is where I diverge from you. Even if I did what you did, I'd still be antsy. It has nothing to do with feeling guilty for leaving, it's simply my mind goes to the Next Thing of its own volition. It's not stress, per se, it's me just being geared up for the next thing in my schedule. I dunno how to explain it, nor do I expect you to get it.

    (Although I have to say.. I wouldn't be nearly as extreme as the guy you mention... every 30 seconds is, uh, extreme. But yeah, I can relate to the general thing of looking at the watch every now and then, and everything else I said. haha.)
    +1...and the more stress the more restless I'd become...it's not even an uh-oh this isn't going as planned thing, it's a sort of sequentiality in our minds

    Next time he does that maybe you can help him, INTPness?

  7. #37
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Uytuun View Post
    +1...and the more stress the more restless I'd become...it's not even an uh-oh this isn't going as planned thing, it's a sort of sequentiality in our minds

    Next time he does that maybe you can help him, INTPness?
    Yeah, like I said, this was the first time I've seen him like this and I probably should have tried to help him out somehow by talking to him, but it even caught me off guard because he usually doesn't seem to need help of any kind. But, yeah, if I see it again, I'll try to ease things for him a bit.
    NTJ's are the only types that have ever made me feel emo.
    ENP's are the only types that have ever made me feel like a sensor.


    There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why. --William Barclay

  8. #38
    Aquaria mrcockburn's Avatar
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    I don't see the problem. He had to keep track of time, and telling time is the primary purpose of a watch.

    Unless he was loudly sighing and moaning constantly...

    "30 minutes to go"
    "Look how late it is, I need to leave in 15"
    "4 minutes!"
    "SIGH. 42 seconds."
    etc.

    ...don't be jealous cause you had to foot the rest of the work.
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  9. #39
    pathwise dependent FDG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    Why do you get antsy? Why not just work happily and enjoy your company up until you need to leave, without being antsy? Then leave and go to your meeting - still without being antsy? I know the answer - someone alluded to it in this thread already - it's not that easy to compartmentalize. But, yeah, I'm just trying to get your guys' thoughts on why you get antsy to begin with. From my perspective, there's no need to be antsy.
    My question would then be...why don't YOU get antsy?
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  10. #40
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mrcockburn View Post
    I don't see the problem. He had to keep track of time, and telling time is the primary purpose of a watch.

    Unless he was loudly sighing and moaning constantly...

    "30 minutes to go"
    "Look how late it is, I need to leave in 15"
    "4 minutes!"
    "SIGH. 42 seconds."
    etc.

    ...don't be jealous cause you had to foot the rest of the work.
    He couldn't have fun. He needed to chill out, relax, and just enjoy things like everyone else. He was uptight. People would talk to him but he would just say, "uh huh" and look at his watch - "uh huh" wasn't even an answer to their question. He wasn't really "there with us". He was zoned out. And, knowing him, he seemed stressed. Wasn't calm, cool, and collected like he normally is.
    NTJ's are the only types that have ever made me feel emo.
    ENP's are the only types that have ever made me feel like a sensor.


    There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why. --William Barclay

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