User Tag List

First 7891011 Last

Results 81 to 90 of 103

Thread: ENTPs and INFJs

  1. #81
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    8,470

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecttcelfeR View Post
    I can account for this as well. I won't start the fight, but I wish someone would just come over to me and start fighting me so I felt justified to release my emotions. Or I'll just do something physically demanding in order to get the pain out (sometimes I take on too much though).
    Hmm. I wonder if it's a result of passivity? For all our apparent assertiveness, we're pretty passive, I would guess. I relate to what you're saying.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  2. #82
    ReflecTcelfeR
    Guest

    Default

    I've even gotten good at (Fe I suppose) knowing what to say to make them feel like I'm opening up to them without doing so. Only a few people will see me 'dark' enough to see what I'm truly thinking. Crying is like steam out of a kettle, you just need to remove the cork and we'll release. Just figuring out how to do this is difficult.

  3. #83
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Enneagram
    4 so/sp
    Posts
    6,931

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Simple. Occasionally we drop the front and get real with people. It's like finding a pearl in a pile of dog shit.


    Yeah. At the risk of sounding like a huge faggot, it helps to make yourself cry if for no other reason than you have to flush everything out.
    Oh, totally. It's a needed release for me at times. It's just unfortunate that it's not something I can force, even if I know it's what would help. Basically it takes my body wearing itself completely down, and the sheer exhaustion and, frankly, giving up, is what allows the tears to come. Takes a while for me to give up though, I guess, and not fight it or try to think my way out of it.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

    My Photography and Watercolor Fine Art Prints!!! Cascade Colors Fine Art Prints
    https://docs.google.com/uc?export=do...Gd5N3NZZE52QjQ

  4. #84
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    8,470

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    Oh, totally. It's a needed release for me at times. It's just unfortunate that it's not something I can force, even if I know it's what would help. Basically it takes my body wearing itself completely down, and the sheer exhaustion and, frankly, giving up, is what allows the tears to come. Takes a while for me to give up though, I guess, and not fight it or try to think my way out of it.
    Try alcohol and looking at yourself in the mirror. Works for me.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  5. #85
    ReflecTcelfeR
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Synarch View Post
    Hmm. I wonder if it's a result of passivity? For all our apparent assertiveness, we're pretty passive, I would guess. I relate to what you're saying.
    I'd say the passion/assertiveness only really awakens when we are spouting out ideas. Otherwise everyones business is there own. I think our justification (ratiionalization) also creates a passitivity, and on the chance that we cannot rationalize we pick up the unexplained emotions, put them in a box and keep them there for later, however once the unexplained/unrationalized emotions build up enough it's very difficult to keep them from seeping out.

  6. #86
    ReflecTcelfeR
    Guest

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post




    Oh, totally. It's a needed release for me at times. It's just unfortunate that it's not something I can force, even if I know it's what would help. Basically it takes my body wearing itself completely down, and the sheer exhaustion and, frankly, giving up, is what allows the tears to come. Takes a while for me to give up though, I guess, and not fight it or try to think my way out of it.
    I find it ironic that we understand the relief that crying can have and yet we resist it until the last moment, almost subconsciously testing ourselves.

  7. #87
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2008
    MBTI
    ENTP
    Posts
    8,470

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecttcelfeR View Post
    I find it ironic that we understand the relief that crying can have and yet we resist it until the last moment, almost subconsciously testing ourselves.
    Great point. It's hard to let go. It's hard to lose control. But, control is an illusion most of the time. And why is it so important to feel in control?
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  8. #88
    ReflecTcelfeR
    Guest

    Default

    And wouldn't it show you have even more control if you could *let* yourself cry?

  9. #89
    shadow boxer strawberries's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    MBTI
    ----
    Posts
    950

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Vasilisa View Post

    We may be in the NT district, but I hope the INFJs take note.
    Ask yourself: attraction and repulsion, can you handle it?

    In this case I'm reminded of Shakespeare - "The course of true love never did run smooth"
    I hope everyone finds that perfect "wrangler".
    vasilisa, you're such a cool infj. the throwdown/wrangle/push-pull is delicious. i want to see the world in different ways and i don't hold a grudge -game on.

    i concur with the entp discussion above re deadlines. deadlines are usually arbitrary. if there's a logical explanation for why something is due at a certain time and actual real life consequences if it's late - then i'll get on board and row, row, row. if not, please spare me from your deadlines - they're tiresome

  10. #90
    Senior Member cafe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    MBTI
    INFJ
    Enneagram
    9w1
    Socionics
    INFj None
    Posts
    9,827

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    Can I read this to mean that you are kind of the boss in the relationship? I've wondered about that with INFJ/INTP. "INF" seems so "soft", caring, classy, and likeable, but "J" likes to be bossy, order people around, impose its will, remind people of the chores they haven't finished yet, etc. It doesn't take any crap so to speak. Is that kind of how it goes? Is the J/P divide the biggest problem spot with this pairing in your experience? Procrastination and a "there's no rush"/"it can be done tomorrow" attitude on the part of the INTP while the INFJ has the "it has to be done now because I said so and I'm sick of this" approach?

    That alone (if it's symptomatic of INTP/INFJ?), would cause me great strife in a relationship. I can't have someone ordering me around/telling me what to do as if I'm one of the children in the house. It just wouldn't go well.

    I'm not bashing INFJ's here. In fact, I'm pretty sure INTP (or ENTP) with INFJ has great potential in most cases. I'm just wondering how the J/P plays out IRL.
    The P/J thing was a struggle for probably the first ten years of our relationship until I discovered MBTI and learned that he wasn't intentionally being an evasive pain in the rear and taught myself how not to threaten his sense of autonomy while getting the closure I needed. That way he figured out that I wasn't trying to control him, but just wanting to know what he wanted to do so I could plan around him.

    I think if I wasn't good at figuring that stuff out and adapting my behavior or if I was more J, it would be more of a problem. I'm a slob so the messy doesn't bother me and I usually only get intense if there is an important deadline of some kind.

    He is kind of passive, but I've never met a more stubborn person in my life, so I have to be careful not to trigger that dang bear trap of obstinacy. It's a nightmare when that happens so I avoid it like the plague.

    I do sometimes slip into a directive communication style because not only am I a firstborn, but we have four children and I do most of the day-to-day parenting, but when I catch myself I apologize and even with my kids, I'm generally a respectful, polite bossy. If I get too bad, he'll tease me about it and I'll back off.
    “There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs.”
    ~ John Rogers

Similar Threads

  1. ENTP and INFJ Relationships
    By highlander in forum Intertype Relations
    Replies: 167
    Last Post: 07-10-2016, 04:45 AM
  2. [MBTItm] Long, weird on/off interaction with an ENTP and an INFJ: Help?
    By StarsPer in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 03-01-2011, 10:37 PM
  3. [ENTP] ENTPs and Dating
    By Sunshine in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 27
    Last Post: 04-14-2009, 06:51 PM
  4. [ENTP] ENTPs and Developing One-Pointedness
    By Samuel De Mazarin in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 32
    Last Post: 10-15-2008, 12:45 PM
  5. [ENTP] ENtp and Marijuana!
    By Maha Raj in forum The NT Rationale (ENTP, INTP, ENTJ, INTJ)
    Replies: 54
    Last Post: 08-12-2008, 02:13 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
Single Sign On provided by vBSSO