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Thread: ENTPs and INFJs

  1. #61
    Member VYCanisMajoris's Avatar
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    yeah, i'm a very soft P-11... however I don't really consider myself a judger? guess it doesn't entirely mean that tho.

  2. #62
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Peguy View Post
    I know there are nasty versions of all types, and I'm not saying that's the essence of all ENTPs. Overall I get along fine with ENTPs, but from experience I find I get along with you guys best when I don't allow you in too close.
    But I still get manlove right ?

    [YOUTUBE="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m9ukBfS2XUU"].[/YOUTUBE]
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  3. #63
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cafe View Post
    ENTPs seem fun, but it seems like they are a bit Tiggery and sometimes when they are being bouncy, trouncey, flouncy, pouncey fun fun fun fun fun they bump you a little too hard and when you are snappish because it didn't feel very good, they get their feelings hurt.

    Also, the charming thing, for me, is true. I'm insecure and an extroverted spouse would make me feel threatened, I think.

    And I don't have much energy and need a lot of time in my head and that would frustrate an extrovert and drain me.

    I don't really find ENTPs insolent. The INTs (especially INTJs) are the ones who tend to be insolent, IMO. Obviously not all of them.

    I am certainly not everyone's cup of tea. I run into guys who think they want someone like me, but they don't have to live with me and put up with me. I'm fairly demanding, yet I screw up a lot of details via absent-mindedness and I'm not terribly industrious. I require a patient, low-maintenance partner who is a bit on the passive side. My INTP calls himself my whipped cracker, but it works because he's a bit of a masochist.
    Can I read this to mean that you are kind of the boss in the relationship? I've wondered about that with INFJ/INTP. "INF" seems so "soft", caring, classy, and likeable, but "J" likes to be bossy, order people around, impose its will, remind people of the chores they haven't finished yet, etc. It doesn't take any crap so to speak. Is that kind of how it goes? Is the J/P divide the biggest problem spot with this pairing in your experience? Procrastination and a "there's no rush"/"it can be done tomorrow" attitude on the part of the INTP while the INFJ has the "it has to be done now because I said so and I'm sick of this" approach?

    That alone (if it's symptomatic of INTP/INFJ?), would cause me great strife in a relationship. I can't have someone ordering me around/telling me what to do as if I'm one of the children in the house. It just wouldn't go well.

    I'm not bashing INFJ's here. In fact, I'm pretty sure INTP (or ENTP) with INFJ has great potential in most cases. I'm just wondering how the J/P plays out IRL.
    NTJ's are the only types that have ever made me feel emo.
    ENP's are the only types that have ever made me feel like a sensor.


    There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why. --William Barclay

  4. #64
    resonance entropie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by INTPness View Post
    I'm not bashing INFJ's here. In fact, I'm pretty sure INTP (or ENTP) with INFJ has great potential in most cases. I'm just wondering how the J/P plays out IRL.
    Sex withdrawal helps to get your points thru ( which are of course actually none ). And if she still keeps criticizing you about the way you hang 50 t-shirt up to dry, retaliate and do the raizorbladetackle !!!

    You're absolutely right the J/P divide IS a problem. my gf is very considerate and tries to learn in what situations the mentioning of chores pisses me off, while I try to be very unblind and to see what needs to be done before it arises.

    its a walk on egg shells 24/7 but I hope one day, we'll be a team.
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  5. #65
    Senior Member INTPness's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by entropie View Post
    Sex withdrawal helps to get your points thru
    LOL. That's brutal in a marriage setting. It's just not the answer. It just creates more divide.


    And if she still keeps criticizing you about the way you hang 50 t-shirt up to dry, retaliate and do the raizorbladetackle !!!
    That's kind of what I was getting at. I'm in my 30's. Why do I need to be told how to hang a T-shirt? I didn't just crawl out from behind a rock yesterday and hang my very first T-shirt. Sure, show me your way to do something - I'm all ears. But, DO NOT attempt to impose your will on me. Errr, unless you'd like my will imposed on you? I'm pretty sure it's not appreciated when it's going the other way.

    You're absolutely right the J/P divide IS a problem. my gf is very considerate and tries to learn in what situations the mentioning of chores pisses me off, while I try to be very unblind and to see what needs to be done before it arises.
    I would imagine the bolded part is vital to the success of the relationship. Very important.

    its a walk on egg shells 24/7 but I hope one day, we'll be a team.
    I hope the same for you. Walking on eggshells isn't fun long-term.
    NTJ's are the only types that have ever made me feel emo.
    ENP's are the only types that have ever made me feel like a sensor.


    There are two great days in a person's life - the day we are born and the day we discover why. --William Barclay

  6. #66
    Senior Member Tiltyred's Avatar
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    The ENTPs I have worked with seem to have oppositional/defiant disorder. Just receiving notice of a deadline seems to make them take a vacation. The more someone calls insistently and says it's urgent, the less ENTP picks up the phone; the more someone sends reminders that a deadline is looming, the less ENTP answers the emails kind of thing, and they will intentionally miss the deadline if they can get away with it. When you're tired and you need a question answered and they're the boss and they respond playfully or mockingly (and bouncey is exactly the word I had in mind, Cafe!), it's a waste of time and not funny. There's this huge emphasis on "You will NOT tell ME what to do!" that I can't comprehend because it's not useful at all.

    So there's some J-ness as an example.

    On the other hand ... they don't sweat the small stuff, they can take a joke, they are willing more than most to try to see things your way (if you can get their attention).

    They need a good bit of pushback or they lose interest, while the INFJ desire is for harmony. But if you keep perfect harmony, it's like you disappear to them. So in some ways the INFJ has to work against its own happiness to get the result it wants. (In other words, you get the harmony when you give the pushback.)

  7. #67
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tiltyred View Post
    The ENTPs I have worked with seem to have oppositional/defiant disorder. Just receiving notice of a deadline seems to make them take a vacation. The more someone calls insistently and says it's urgent, the less ENTP picks up the phone; the more someone sends reminders that a deadline is looming, the less ENTP answers the emails kind of thing, and they will intentionally miss the deadline if they can get away with it. When you're tired and you need a question answered and they're the boss and they respond playfully or mockingly (and bouncey is exactly the word I had in mind, Cafe!), it's a waste of time and not funny. There's this huge emphasis on "You will NOT tell ME what to do!" that I can't comprehend because it's not useful at all.
    I love hearing about how frustrated people get with us while there is still a note of affection in their description. It makes me feel safe to think I can be annoying and yet still loved. I think that's why I am so annoying. If you're lovable and people love you, what exactly does that prove? Nothing. But, if you're annoying and people love you despite themselves, why, that's quite an achievement!

    1. Deadlines: Problem here is that I have yet to meet a deadline that wasn't flexible. I never even do my taxes until the final day you can file if you filed an extension (October 15). Also, I lack discipline and I need the pressure of being behind. Until I'm behind "there's still more time". Also, I respond to social pressure, which doesn't generally kick in until you're in jeopardy of missing deadlines. I try to get other people to do the reminding and pushing for me, so I can avoid it.

    2. Avoiding people: If I'm behind I'm already freaking out inside. I don't want to talk to people if I know they're just going to bug me for something I already know about. Plus, I enjoy the "lion taming" and I like being in control. I like seeing how far I can push it and survive. But, in general, I'm usually just stressed from the overloaded responsibility.

    For example, every Wednesday I do a call with each of my clients. Generally, I'm behind so it's very stressful every Tuesday night. But, as soon as my calls are done, I feel elated and it lasts until the following Tuesday, which leaves several days in which I did a lot of nothing .

    3. Not liking being told what to do: I think this one is ironic. I think we are oppositional because we DO take everyone seriously. But, we feel burdened by it and rebel. I think ENTP's are rebels. But, rebels are reactionary, you see? They NEED something to push against. The rebel needs a cause. As such, the rebel ultimately feels quite dependent on those he rebels against.

    On the other hand ... they don't sweat the small stuff, they can take a joke, they are willing more than most to try to see things your way (if you can get their attention).
    We are people who need people, even if in our own retarded way.

    They need a good bit of pushback or they lose interest, while the INFJ desire is for harmony. But if you keep perfect harmony, it's like you disappear to them. So in some ways the INFJ has to work against its own happiness to get the result it wants. (In other words, you get the harmony when you give the pushback.)
    This is largely true. I think it's just a result of not understanding or appreciating calm. For me, calm is dangerous and has the potential for a surprise conflagration perhaps due to my home life growing up.

    Ah, you made me write a book! That means you did well.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

  8. #68
    ReflecTcelfeR
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    Usually when I defy deadlines it's because I already know about them. I don't need to be reminded constantly, the more you think I'm not going to make it the more I want to wait until the last minute to prove you wrong. That's just what I do. The pressure, the fear of not making it is exhilerating. What if I don't make it?

    I totally agree with that first paragraph Synarch. I love the fact that I can be SO annoying and people still enjoy being around me... it's interesting really. I suppose it'd only be this way if the pros out-weighed the cons.

  9. #69
    4x9 cascadeco's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReflecttcelfeR View Post
    I totally agree with that first paragraph Synarch. I love the fact that I can be SO annoying and people still enjoy being around me... it's interesting really. I suppose it'd only be this way if the pros out-weighed the cons.
    Interesting. I think you do have a tendency to test the boundaries and see just how much you can get away with and how much the other will accommodate; it gets to a point where that very trait makes it almost not worth it, and I think that's an aspect I was referring to in my first point re. my not 'tolerating' certain things so they end up with more docile creatures who do put up with pretty much anything.
    "...On and on and on and on he strode, far out over the sands, singing wildly to the sea, crying to greet the advent of the life that had cried to him." - James Joyce

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  10. #70
    Once Was Synarch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cascadeco View Post
    Interesting. I think you do have a tendency to test the boundaries and see just how much you can get away with and how much the other will accommodate; it gets to a point where that very trait makes it almost not worth it, and I think that's an aspect I was referring to in my first point re. my not 'tolerating' certain things so they end up with more docile creatures who do put up with pretty much anything.
    (Obviously I am not speaking for Reflecttcelfer.)

    I don't want anyone to tolerate my craziness. I want someone to release me and calm me.
    "Create like a god, command like a king, work like a slave."

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